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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To talk to BF about this

2 replies

whatnowgromit · 27/08/2024 10:34

I have been seeing my boyfriend for close to a year now. At first we DTD every time we saw each other, but inevitably that has slowed down a little. I’ve noticed recently that I always seem to be the initiator. He doesn’t reject me, he responds with enthusiasm but I do think sometimes he’d probably rather just chill/go to sleep. My marriage was not good (divorced 3 years ago, this is my first relationship since). I had sex with him to keep the peace, not because I really wanted to. To be in a relationship with someone I adore and want to be with, and to actually want and enjoy sex with is still mind-blowing to me and the novelty hasn't worn off yet. But I don’t want to be pestering him either. I know how it feels to just go along with sex you don't feel like having and I really don't want him doing that. I should talk to him about this shouldn’t I? I’m probably projecting my past onto us and overanalyzing this. I just don’t like feeling like I’m second guessing myself. We’re both in our late 40s, not youngsters if that adds any perspective.

But I'm worried that by talking about it I'm going to make it a bigger thing than it needs to be.

OP posts:
Onthefinalstretch · 27/08/2024 10:49

No I think you are right you need to talk to him about this. You need to discuss how you are feeling.

It is actually an important thing for you and important in your relationship going forward that you can be open with each other about things.

YerArseInParsley · 27/08/2024 10:51

Your right, you need to talk to him. Say you feel like it's always you that makes the first move or you could hold off and see if he does but you are both adults so talking is probably the way forward.

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