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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Have refused to watch Dh

26 replies

lullabyloo · 17/04/2008 16:34

playing racing cars on MY birthday

I bought him a Formula One racing experience for Christmas.
He loved it
He loved it so much that he came back home yesterday evening as pleased as punch,having booked another race day
On My Birthday!

We have been together fifteen years
He obviously had not remembered that this date was indeed my birthday as he looked somewhat shocked & then backtracked v quickly saying I should be v pleased to do such a nice thing.
He said ds would love it & what else would I want to do anyway?
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Ds will be at nursery & I had planned on shopping & brunch with a friend.

He says I am selfish & unreasonable

Opinions please

OP posts:
lulumama · 17/04/2008 16:37

YANBU

get on a train, come ooop Norf with DS and have a rioutous time here on your birthday,. i shall make something fabulous with mung beans and alfalfa

go shopping and have your brunch and make sure he takes you somewhere super duper amazing the next night.

forgetful arse

Saturn74 · 17/04/2008 16:39

Suggest you drive the Formula One racing car, as it is your birthday, and your DH entertains your DS at the side of the track?

Seabright · 17/04/2008 16:40

YANBU. My DP forgot my birthday a couple of years ago (for 5 days until he was reminded) and another year booked for us & his son to go to a military display. Not my idea of fun.

lulumama · 17/04/2008 16:41

am not quite sure why, having known you for 15 years, he would actually believe you would want to do that on your birthday !

MaureenMLove · 17/04/2008 16:42

Hmm. You had planned shopping and brunch with a friend. Did that actually involve DH?

Could you meet up at the end of the day for a nice meal together. Afterall you are a grown up and have been together a long time, is it really a biggy?

Original poster
lullabyloo · 17/04/2008 16:42

Will you Lulu????
Okay then

he drew this out for three hours last night & in the end almost convinced me that I was the thoughtless one

OP posts:
dittany · 17/04/2008 16:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lullabyloo · 17/04/2008 16:45

No,it didn't involve dh
It's a week day & dh will never take time off in the week,even for birthdays.
We would usually celebrate at the weekend.

He can however take time off to play cars

OP posts:
barnstaple · 17/04/2008 16:46

It's your birthday so you do what you want. Ignore him. YANBU he is.

My dh does this almost every year - books himself a gig or something and expects me to just poddle along after him. This year's my 50th and I am seriously considering doing some very expensive stuff in London which he will hate and does not need to come to (but he will feel he has to. Ha!)

Original poster
lullabyloo · 17/04/2008 16:47

Lulu...he knows I would hate it
He had forgotten it was my birthday,but wouldn't admit it
So tried to turn it around that I should be very pleased to stand around for 3 hrs & watch him whizzing round a track

I did this in the poring rain a few weeks ago,took pics & was enthusiastic

I have done my bit

OP posts:
lulumama · 17/04/2008 16:49

he banged on about this for 3 hours??? sheesh, i would have gone out !

he is clearly riddled with guilt and totally unable to back track.

just do what you want to do on your day, and if he is so bothered about DS having a fun day at the track, let him work out the logistics of it

why would he think this would be fun for you???

MaureenMLove · 17/04/2008 16:51

OK, that's fair enough then, if he can't take time off unless it suits him. YANBU!

Original poster
lullabyloo · 17/04/2008 16:51

Ds was bored rigid last time
He wanted to drive the car himself

Dh just uses 'O ds will love it' as a way of making me feel guilty

OP posts:
orangina · 17/04/2008 17:22

Dh booked his stag weekend on my birthday, without thinking at all. It didn't really bother me, but he felt as guilty as hell, and I occasionally drag it out if I feel like getting a bit of that guilt back again for whatever reason!

duomonstermum · 17/04/2008 17:25

i'd just go and do what was originally planned. it's not your fault he forgot your birthday so if he doesn't like it tough! DH did this a few years ago.... after serious telling off i went off and did my own thing. he felt so guilty

lizziemun · 17/04/2008 17:48

YANBU

i would tell him that as it ok for you to spend your birthday watching him drive cars then for his birthday you are booking a day in a spa and he has to come and enjoy it.

FrannyandZooey · 19/04/2008 14:04

oh Lully, the daft sod
don't you love it when people realise they have made a huge mistake and get all arsey to try to cover it up

is it possible to change the date? I bet it is
can you phone them and tell him that he can swop it and that he definitely should, because it is up to you to choose something nice to do on your birthday

Original poster
lullabyloo · 19/04/2008 14:43

hmmm

Franny..he will not change dates
He has now invited a group of 'mates' & will be having a boys fun day out

and
may
be
back
in time

to take ds & I out for a quick birthday tea

OP posts:
cyteen · 19/04/2008 15:44

Be out when he gets back

Cappuccino · 19/04/2008 15:46

if ds will love it ds can go with him

you can go do your own thing

Original poster
lullabyloo · 19/04/2008 16:33

ds didn't love it tho
he was bored after the first two laps

OP posts:
Cappuccino · 19/04/2008 16:55

who gives a monkeys

it is your birthday not ds's

Original poster
lullabyloo · 19/04/2008 16:57

I do

OP posts:
ImightbeLulumama · 19/04/2008 16:57

oh lully, he is being a bit of an arse

FrannyandZooey · 19/04/2008 17:05

ok choose another day that is your official birthday
and you decide what you get to do

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