We moved from the UK to the US last year and my 11 year old daughter has just started a new school. she is different in almost every way to the other girls - she has a different accent, she's not interested in the popular cultural stuff they are, she's not sporty and specifically, she deliberately dresses totally differently. We live in a hot place (USA) where the 11 YO girls literally go to school in cut off denim hot pants, high tops, hair and nails done, lots of money (despite being a state school) My daughter hates brushing her hair, wears the baggiest clothes she can find, wears odd socks and generally has zero interest in looking like everyone else.
I love her so much for being herself, for not caring about peer pressure and for being an independent thinker and do-er. The better half of me celebrates this, but the other half leaves me worrying she's going to be bullied - while she has friends and has never had problems making or retaining them, last week her best friend (who is distancing herself) blanked her at school, and sent a message after to say sorry - she 'didn't see her' (she did). She's beginning to sit alone or with just one other friend at lunch too. AIBU to be torn between being so proud that she's not compromising on who she is to fit in, and wanting to celebrate and champion her independent choices (which I really do) while also wanting to hide the odd socks and invest in 6,000 hairbrushes? How can I help her celebrate who she is, while also guiding her through in a way that doesn't leave her socially vulnerable? Would flagging my concerns help or remove confidence and the much needed feeling that I will celebrate her whoever she is....any advice / sharing of similar experience appreciated!