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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD’s fractured arm.

4 replies

NewUserName5 · 26/08/2024 12:29

Hello, I am in need of some advice to help me decide if I am being blinded by anger or if my current feelings are justified. On the first day back after summer break my 6 year old DD came home complaining of a sore arm. This progressed over a couple of hours and it turns out she has a buckle fracture. She has a splint for two weeks and can’t go to her sports clubs for at least six weeks.

At the time she told us she was on the monkey bars at school, she was trying to keep her skirt down and she fell. The school didn’t phone us to say she was injured despite DD telling a teacher. Not ideal but I put this down to DD trying not to make a fuss and carrying on as normal so the school were unaware how badly she had hurt herself.

However, over the weekend she has since told us that a boy from her class pulled her off the monkey bars. She also said he has been being nasty to her and saying horrible things after she returned to school. She didn’t tell us or anyone else because she is frightened of this boy. After she fell he made fun of her being ‘clumsy’ and also followed her when she was going to tell the teacher. All of this was witnessed by another couple of girls.

I spoke to the head teacher this morning. He asked DD if what I was saying was true. She looked terrified and she answered that she couldn’t remember. I spoke with her after and she said she was scared again. The headteacher said without her confirming it was this boy the only thing he can do is talk to the whole class. I didn’t want to get too into it with DD standing with me and her being scared so I accepted this. However, after some reflection, I don’t think this is acceptable. I have told him how frightened DD of this boy and why she only felt comfortable talking about it after some time off school. I understand the boys aim was not to break her arm but I feel that at the very least he needs to be spoken to on a one to one level about his actions and their repercussions. To avoid drip feeding, multiple parents have complained about this boys behaviour towards their children before so he is known to be heavy handed with other children and a bully.

So my AIBU is am I justified to feel the head teachers reaction is not good enough?

OP posts:
bluecomputerscreen · 26/08/2024 12:37

3 issues

  • uniform. can she wear trousers or leggings under the shirt to make climbing safer?
  • playground supervision. is the ratio adequate?
  • bullying. ask for the schools policy. school should not intervene all of the time but should reacts to reports if/when children need support
bluecomputerscreen · 26/08/2024 12:39

hope dc is better soon!

with regards to the other pupil, it's not of your concern how the school deal with them. but tgey should let you know that they are doing so

GlitteringUnicorn · 26/08/2024 12:40

Difficult isn't it? I do understand your upset if you think she was hurt by another child

But just think if you were the boy's parent.
I would want the headteacher to be absolutely sure before accusing my son. I might also be upset that he was being unfairly given a bad name by several parents.
He asked your daughter and she would not be clear in front of him (and yes that might be because she is frightened).
He has said he would speak to the whole year so that is a reasonable way forward without better proof.

NewUserName5 · 26/08/2024 13:32

Thank you for your replies. You are both absolutely right, thank you for helping me to calm down. Hopefully the class talk will help to nip this situation in the bud and DD will be a bit less scared of going to school.

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