Separate activities on holiday

[StonedRoses]

We’re having a lovely Uk break but one thing is causing a bit of tension - our separate hobbies. DW and DS14 both love water so are going kayaking tomorrow. I’m not a big fan so won’t join them. I do however love hill walking - which they’re less into - so would live a day in the hills myself. But tomorrow’s forecast isn’t looking great for that, later in the week is better. But DW doesn’t think it’s great to go out with them and ‘abandon’ them for a day

Is it unreasonable to have a couple of days doing our own things we enjoy or should we want to spend 24/7 together?

Maybe I’m just grumpy because everyone else is still in bed and I’m a bit bored feeling a bit like we’re wasting a morning!!

It's fine to have a mix of together and separate activities on holiday ... just like normal life. Do what works for your family unit. Can't believe that you have to ask.

I think it’s the fact that kayaking will take 3-4hr where as my day will prob be longer if I want to get to a summit.
DW doesn’t really like being by herself and DS14 isn’t always a sparkling wit and conversationalist!!!

Is it just the three of you on holiday?

it’s fine to do separate things, it gives you something to talk about when you’re spending the majority of the time together. Does your DW just not want to be left alone to do childcare? That could be understandable if she does it alone most of the time when you’re not on holiday, but as long as she is also given the opportunity for some child free time then it shouldn’t be a problem.

No help but dh and I always have a day or two separate on holiday. Very similar to your interests, I always want to be near water or a beach, he always wants to be up a massive hill!
We just do our thing then meet at a pub after, works for us both. We do it in this country and abroad to an extent - in Mexico and Egypt we stayed together all the time but had chill out times in the hotels where we ignored each other for a few hours. We both just really like our own company a lot and need space from other humans. No kids though, but what you’re suggesting sounds fine to me.

I think doing some things separately is a fantastic idea, and prevents any feelings of "suffocation" in being together all the time. If your wife doesn't like being by herself, that's just tough - she's an adult, she'll be fine. And maybe, in a new place, she'll actually realise that being solo can be great fun.

It's perfectly ok to do your own thing on some days, but it should be equal. So if you have a day to yourself, then so should the other adult.

So whilst DW and DS are off doing their watersports, use the time to find some local attractions you think DS would like to go to, and then later you can suggest you taking DS for a day and doing stuff with him and letting DW have a day of her choice, and you will then have your day hill walking.

I would happily spend a day by myself or with DS whilst she did whatever she wanted. Indeed I try to encourage it. But she’s generally not keen on it. I also dont think that she gets that even if the weather is ok 3hrs isn’t really long enough to do a worthwhile walk

We do separate things on holiday, I always go climbing or diving or archeological sight seeing. My husband hates it but enjoys sleeping in and meeting up later with us. Everyone needs to enjoy the holiday.

Its your holiday too so you should get the chance to do something you want to do.

Invite dw and ds on your hike...its up to them if they come or not but doing your own thing one day out of seven isnt an issue I dont think.

I encourage and facilitate my DH going off for a summit walk when I can. I love that he gets his mountain climbing fix and I don't have a o go near one. I don't have much sympathy for her, but is there no way a walk tomorrow due to weather would work?