Have people become chronically competitive and is this leading to social isolation

[sertey]

I've read and seen this. People of all ages more connected (social media, apps etc) than ever, but a massive lack of sense of community. I often find myself wondering "where is everyone"? The add the whole phenomenon of friendship groups and families being fractured by polarised politics, the Covid lockdowns, the appalling behaviour (including some on this website) of the social police with their hi viz jackets desperately wanting to find a lonely neighbour transgressing. A friend of mine said he can no longer speak to his own father as the latter only talks about "woke" and how "political correctness" has ruined everything. How did this happen??? How did the political class get so awful?? How did these wars start, and now I hear of Ukrainian men abroad being vilified by their own families due to not wanting to go to the frontline. It honestly seems like massive amounts of people absolutely hate each others guts. It doesn't feel things will ever get better

There is too much information now, I worked in public and academic libraries for most of my career. A lot of the information isn’t exactly peer researched or correct. They are just thoughts that tumble out of peoples heads. Also people can have an idea or see something they like or wonder about something and find people online who actively agree with them, maybe even preach that stance, view or whatever. I remember one lecturer always saying no information is better than the wrong information.

The other aspect is just good old fashioned manners being lost isn’t it. Talking so openly about money is incredibly vulgar or was in the UK. I’m from a far more direct culture but was born and raised here so understand the differences. I will guarantee that the people bragging so freely about their cruise costs are nouveau riche.

On a personal level I don’t come across people like this. I have long term friends and none are like this. Most of my friends are academics, librarians, civil servants, social workers and school teachers. I belong to three hiking and waking groups and no such people there nor at the community allotment I used to volunteer on. Or the lunch club I volunteer at.

This is very interesting…as I am a lecturer, and so are my closest friends! Other friends are teachers or scientists or accountants. Lots of people who work in the Arts around me too.

The “behaviour” doesn’t happen as much in my friendship circles (but everyone is in the zombie walking dead baby/toddler phase so that’s a challenge in itself) but it’s more in face to face hobbies or discussion groups like Serty mentioned. Anecdotally, I’ve found it much more common in people from around 58 - 78.

I never made the link between our jobs, sources of information and the accompanying mindset…but now you’ve brought it up, it makes perfect sense. I get very frustrated when peoples’ primary source of information is social media. TikTok, YouTube, Facebook etc. Or Fake News sites/channels. I’ve not been appreciative of the fact that for me, and the bulk of my friends/peers, we can sniff out poor sources of information without any conscious effort. We just know, “this is a load of tosh!” and disregard it. There’s a filtration that naturally happens, thanks to years of training.

Pamela at Weight Watchers who “read an interesting thing on FB from Britain First and was listening to Nigel Farage on GB News and he made some wonderful points about migrants and why they’ve led to the decline in society”, genuinely doesn’t know that we have to have a reliable source before we can trust that information is correct…or that opinions are opinions and not facts.

I completely agree that often, especially these days, no information is better than the wrong information!

I think people constantly feel judged or everything becomes about them, of social media etc. Or It just feels like it

To a lot of people everything others does they turn on to themselves, not sure if it is narcissistic but seems to get worse

In Scotland it started with the 2014 independence referendum, in the rest of the UK I think the Brexit decision was the starting point. Covid added to it.

Something else I sense is that I feel a bit too lively and bubbly. I would never have said that 10 years ago. I’m not that chatty. I thought I was just normal or average or whatever word you want to use.

But now being averagely chatty seems OTT so I have to hold back.

This in turn makes me feel self-conscious. Perhaps it’s a side-effect of the art of conversation being lost.

I wonder how much this is an impact of lockdown - with people being isolated and spending much more time on social media ?

I do think that the way people talk to one another on here is a lot more confrontational than in the past and I guess that this spills over into real life - especially if someone is in a WFH role or something like a delivery driver where they work alone and less need for, and practice of, polite chit-chat.

I think it may be, especially given how long the first period of restrictions in 2020 was (owing to them being introduced later than they should have been, and the way they were lifted).