To not want to pick up the phone when I'm having a chill / rot day

[rotte]

My mum always calls me with ' where are you ? '...

I'm at home, chilling...

' are you not going out today ? Why don't you go to the park with the kids ? Take them to the garden. Have they eaten ? What have you cooked ? What did they eat ? ' it's so annoying ! Like I'm 15 or something. Then I'll send a pic of the kids and she'll always be like ' what's the weather like ? Is it warm ?' Not because she's interested but because she's wanting to judge if they're clothed appropriately. She always thinks they need socks etc, even at 30 degrees..

Today she hasn't called me but my dad already called and my brother and I just didn't want to pick up as I'm in no mood to answer a million questions. Although they don't ask about dumb stuff like what have the kids eaten today.

I don't have chill days a lot but I'm so tired today. What's the big deal. We've just got back from holiday. I take my kids out all the time. They've been on a hype and out and about ALL summer. So what if we stay in today.

It's just exhausting! Now I'll need to ring the people who rang me earlier back. I'm in absolutely no mood but they'll raise questions if I don't call back soon. They'll just start guilting me about it.

So annoying. Does anyone else sometimes just want to be left the fuck alone?

Oh I know this so well. Visiting with my parents now and my daughter has an happy meal with her think they've asked about 20 questions about this happy meal it's winding the hell out of me. Feel like I'm quizzed every time I go round and I really hate being quizzed.

Just turn off your phone.
And there's no need to ring anyone back.
You're an adult, you can do what you like, so why do you let your parents interfere? I genuinely don't get it.

YANBU. That’s sounds exhausting. Ignore the phone. Don't text until this eve and say oops I must have left it in the car, we’re all fine goodnight! then switch it to silent.

YANBU. I'd try to set some new boundaries or expectations. What will actually happen if you just ignore them until tomorrow? Maybe give a brief reply ending with something about switching off the phone for a while to enjoy quality time with the kids?

If you don't want to pick up the phone, don't pick it up! If anyone needs to contact you about anything important they can text or email.

Now I'll need to ring the people who rang me earlier back. I'm in absolutely no mood but they'll raise questions if I don't call back soon.

You don't have to do any such thing. You're not a child, they have no say so as to anything you do.

They'll just start guilting me about it.

Well that's on you, and it's really, really ridiculous. Feel guilty about what? You've done nothing wrong. Wasting emotional energy on misplaced guilt is pointless.

It's time to put your big girl pants on already. You don't owe them an explanation, you don't have to pick up the phone when you don't want to, and you don't have to respond to intrusive questions that are none of their business. It's time for boundaries, op. You have the power to stop all of this nonsense.

Can you pop an automated reply on for messages to say I'm doing a digital detox today, I'll get back to you tomorrow? Perfectly reasonable to not be in contact for a day.

Like you, I get quizzed. If I answer the phone (always a video call as well), and I’m home it’s all about how we should be outside in the fresh air, take them to the park, you are monitoring screen time aren’t you? If I’m out, it’s about how they couldn’t get through to me then 20 questions on what exactly I was doing.
Even if I’m out with friends or mention upcoming plans, I receive questions about non-essential details regarding them, as if the idea of me having friends and an independent life is quite impossible. Names? Where do they live? What do they do for a job? How long have you known them? Where do their kids go to school?
There is showing an interest but I would perceive a response would be more like, Oh sounds lovely, enjoy your plans!
I find it invasive and exhausting and as a result I don’t share much as they want to know as surely they don’t need to know everything?! In contrast, they track the whereabouts of my sibling who lives with them.
What winds me up is the stating the obvious or is it just to make me feel less of an organised parent? For example, I get a video call when it’s a lovely day and we are just about ready to head out or we have plans ready for the afternoon but a chilled morning and all I get is how we should be outside right now getting the children to run around.
Another cracker: asked whether I was going to join any antenatal classes (I had 2 kids already at the time, established friendships and a calendar of future baby groups and a full time job ) to which I said no. They actually said do you not want to have any friends?
Positively exhausting. You have my sympathies!

Why do you need to ring them back? You don't. You don't have to be beholden to your phone.

This is about them controlling you. You need to stop answering so much. And then when you do speak to them it’s okay to be vague and just say you didn’t hear your phone / have your phone with you / was out etc etc. It’s the only way you’re going to stop this.