Wedding guest tm, advice pls!

[MiMiChuna]

Posting for traffic.

Attending a wedding tm for the daughter of an old school friend. School friend is dear to me, godparent to my child, however she has 5 children and I'm godparent to none (all are christened) & I'm aware of a possible general imbalance in how we see / value the friendship (as in she values less as huge family, wider circle of friends etc).

I wasn't sure we'd get invited to this wedding. We got the invite about 2 months so despite it being booked in before last year so I presume we were on a reserve guest list. Which is fine, just mentioning for context.

My Q is this. What's an appropriate amount for a cash wedding gift? The invite is for me & my teens. Plan is service then bbq buffet type eve do. I don't want to under-gift, as I value my friend & appreciate being included in the day, but don't want to over-gift as I'm not inner circle to them, work PT min wage & having to pay for a hotel overnight.

My experience of weddings is slim!

£50? £75? More, less?

Is cash normal, electronic transfer, gift card? If cash, would you put it in the wedding card or a separate envelope?

Thank you :-)

£50 cash is more than enough.

Ask them for gift preference- it’s usual to have some sort of account details alongside the invitation.

There’s no right or wrong about how much, especially with the sums you mention. However I don’t think anyone has ever complained that the gift was too much!

I'd normally say s solute minimum 50 per head. But based on your circumstances 75 or 100 in total would be grand I think

work PT min wage & having to pay for a hotel overnight.

Don’t make yourself struggle by giving money as a gift.

If I was your friend I wouldn’t want a gift. I would just want you there.

If you can afford £100 that would be a splendid gift. Not an embarsssing amount. But £50 is still a decent present and will be well received. Cash is pretty normal. I would put it inside the card unless the invitation came with any other suggestions as to gifts. To be invited to the wedding of a friend's daughter (even if as a reserve) definitely does signal you mean a lot to the family.

I think £50 is more than plenty. I got married recently and that was pretty standard what I got from people.

It’s 💯 normal to send out invitations 2 months before the event so don’t worry that you are a reserve.
I would do a gift card from John Lewis or cheque but not cash. If the card gets lost/ stolen there is no come- back.
I have asked for bank details and then written a card saying hope you enjoy spending our gift on a special evening on the honeymoon.

I would try to give £100 if there are three of you for the day. £50 would be the minimum not to look mean for 3 of you.
Enjoy the day - they value you and want you to be a special part of their day!

This.

You are not obliged to compensate people for hosting you. Whatsoever.

Take a decent bottle of champagne and a card. And don't worry about it.

People who expect to make a profit on their wedding celebration aren't worth knowing.

I didn't send my invites to anyone before eight weeks out.
£50-£100 depending on your circumstances.

So a PT low-wage earner is expected to fork out cash nevertheless?

Botte of champagne would be sufficient and could pick something up on special offer to save a but of money.

I agree, £50 cash in a card is plenty and very acceptable.
Hope you have a great time OP. I bloody love a wedding!!

Someone gave us a £10 set of drinks coasters, we didn't ask for gifts or money, so I didn't judge them. I honestly couldn't tell you how much other people gave, it's not likely to matter that much so don't overthink it.

£50 cash in the card is plenty.

It depends on what you can afford, we gift £100 for godchildren, more for nieces/ nephews and £50 for friends children.

Thanks all, I feel way more informed. Still deciding amount but might do £50ish since I need a hotel too plus it's a more relaxed buffet style meal afterwards rather than expensive 3 course meal. I'd like to at least cover our cost to the b&g to attend, so hopefully that'll do it :-)