To feel I’m not really living

[hi2416]

Does anyone else feel like this? I feel I’m always on edge and not really living. Most embarrassing thing was my recent dental appointment the dentist said I seem to hold a lot of tension in my face. I thought I was good at hiding my feelings but seems like everyone can see how I’m feeling. I just feel overwhelmed all the time.

That sounds tough OP. Is there anything in particular that you feel on edge about?

I think I’ve been like this for all my life. I had a traumatic and neglectful childhood.

I don’t have any experience of feeling overwhelmed so I can’t offer any real advice I’m afraid.

I don’t think you should be embarrassed by what the dentist said. It isn’t necessarily obvious to other people.
I recently found out that I grind my teeth (presumably during the night) and my teeth are getting smaller

I hope someone comes along who can be more help than me

I'm a big believer that the answer to most people's mental health challenges are:

1. A really healthy diet.
2. Plenty of exercise.
3. Plenty of time outside/in nature.
4. Time with other people.

Have you done any research regarding adverse childhood experiences?(ACES)

I’m the same op, I’ve actually damaged my teeth from tension all day and night time grinding.
I think I’m coping but hold all my stress in my body. I have awful IBS from it.
Most of my anxiety stems from my childhood too.
I have tried everything to release the tension but little has helped so my next step is to consider medication.
I hope you manage to find something that helps. It’s very draining.

I don't think the dentist comment is anything to be embarrassed about - a lot of people hold tension in their face / jaw - clench their jaw, grind their teeth etc. (And if there is evidence of tooth grinding it would be the dentist's job to recommend treatments). All very normal, for a dentist.

I really relate to this. When you have a traumatic past and suffer with anxious feelings it can be very difficult to embrace the good parts of life because you're constantly in fight, flight or freeze mode. Have you ever tried talking therapies? I've done years of both counselling and CBT to overcome childhood trauma, I'm also on medications and try to keep myself in as good a routine as I can (sleep hygiene, good nutrition etc). Even with all of that, I'm still not 100%, but function much better than I used to prior to working through all of those emotions. GP I'd often a really good starting point, most areas have a mental health service that you can self refer to for talking therapies.

P.s. My dentist has also told me this. I have 'tongue scalloping' which is apparently from jaw clenching from stress. His suggestion was I just try to stop doing it! Thanks for that, super helpful!

Yes, l personally think, there are many people who feel, life can be overwhelming and they’re just going through the motions of life.
I asked a friend, who has quite a challenging job, lot’s of overtime and on call hours, how does she cope, she said she tries not to think too far ahead, takes life day by day, that way she’s not overthinking things, that could happen.
Have you ever considered counselling (even if you’ve had some, it can be helpful maybe to see someone else, fresh outlook, or when you feel able to open up more) l’ve had 2 lots of counselling in my life, through my GP.
It helped me, to speak to someone, who didn’t know me, l personally do think, traumatic events, particularly in childhood, affect how you cope as an adult.There were things l’d never spoken about, which l now realise were holding me back as an adult.It helped, to feel there was time to talk to someone who was completely impartial
Also we talked about ways to cope and try to manage anxiety.I think l’m a bit of a worrier, which fuels anxiety.You mentioned IBS, stress can a huge trigger, anxiety and stress can make you feel really unwell and l agree it all can get very draining.It may also be worth considering having a full panel blood test, just to check your not, really low in vitamins, or have any further health conditions.Some people, look like they haven’t got a care in the world, but l now realise it doesn’t mean they haven’t❤️

Can you seek treatment for PTSD?

I had a very tense, emotionally abusive childhood and feel the same. It's like my body grew up living on adrenaline and can't turn it off now. I've tried all the usual things, have a great diet, exercise, yoga etc. My body just seems to want to live on high alert.

Yes, CBT, CPT can be helpful, it’s very individual, for the person.It is about finding the right therapist, that you feel you can really open up to as it’s extremely triggering.These therapies, do not suit everyone, it’s understanding it’s not a one size fits all, or a magic cure.

Yoga is good for releasing physical tension like this