Wanting a baby out of nowhere

[cocoromo]

Hi all,
im hoping this will pass….i am 38 and already have two children (13 and 8) I have been firmly in the camp of never wanting another baby for years….until now.
over the last few weeks I have been feeling the urge to have another baby to the point where I have had multiple dreams and find myself daydreaming about being pregnant.
husband and I had decided that we were done after 8 year old was born, but now I feel unsure.
To avoid drip feed have an above average household income (although definitely not wealthy) have a very happy marriage, stable home and support around from family. I did loose a baby 9 years ago which was traumatic and made my last pregnancy very hard.
is this just hormones? I wanted to progress in my career, have more luxury holidays, enjoy more me time ect as kids got older and that all feels very sensible, however I can’t get these baby day dreams out of my head.

YABU - it will pass, it’s normal to feel like this in late 30’s.
YANBU - it’s your last chance to have another baby and you will regret it if you don’t.

Slightly different as I'm single, but I always wanted children. Set my self up to have children. Good job, 2 bed flat. It was at the back of my mind, but there were no real plan.
Went to visit extended family on holiday last October, came back and was researching IVF within 2 weeks. IVF baby with donor sperm is currently kicking my bladder as I type and due exactly after that holiday.
The decision was quick but I think the right one for me (baby isn't out yet, so I can't promise). But I don't have other children and or a partner to consider in it.

I have been on and off broody since my youngest (now 13) was about 2. Even now when I see a pregnant mum to be and have had a hysterectomy!
My husband only ever wanted 2 and I made the choice not to have more because 2 is a good number in terms of holidays/cars/space at home etc. I also would not have coped with another. Very glad of the decision now that we can do fun stuff with big kids and have adult only time without faffing with childcare.

In your situation I would not do it but only you know how desperately broody you are.

congratulations 🥳
What lovely news for you, wishing you and the baby all the best.

yes the more balanced part of me thinks about the practicality’s such as car, house etc.… seems more sensible not to, but hard to shake those feelings…

Don’t do it. Many will
come along and say how wonderful it is. But stopping with two who are quite spaced and then adding a. Baby to the mix. Especially with kids in and soon to be entering their secondary years will be a struggle. Just relax. We all have the urge. It’s hormones.

Normal IME. I only ever wanted two. Had 2nd one when I was 37. But then, completely inexplicably, I started fantasising about having a third. I was also about 38 at that point. 12 years later and I'm VERY glad I saw it for what it was - just nature's last gasp at trying to get me to reproduce again. With two DC we can afford a very nice life. Our 2nd DC also has some mild SEN, which has meant he's needed quite a lot of parental input and ongoing expense in support. Now our DC are both teens we are having a great time though, ticking off some 'bucket list' type family trips that we always wanted to do. If we'd had a third our life would be a lot more complicated and so many things are set up for families of four. I know five is perfectly doable, but every time we go on a rollercoaster with pairs of seats I think 'Good thing we didn't have another'.

Have you considered the possibility of no 3 turning out to be twins (not uncommon apparently) or having special needs?

@cheezncrackers you have articulated a lot better than I did but this is exactly how I felt and feel now.
We've also had lovely opportunities to each take one away and it's so lovely. This would be so much trickier with a third in the mix

I wouldnt! Starting all over again when yours are getting independent etc. I had this feeling but never wanted to act on it. It passed and I realised how it wouldn't have been the right decision for us.

Mayb starting peri so u r craving something that might not be possible in a few years.

I’m 44, with a 20 ye old son.
i split with his dad when he was 18 months old.
Since my ds was about 5 yrs old I’ve always wanted more children and the right man has never come along.
I still felt this way until May this year when I adopted a teeny tiny puppy! I already have 2 large dogs and 2 cats, but somehow this teeny tiny adorable puppy has just taken all my broodiness away and it’s like she’s my little baby.

I never thought it was possible, but I now am over wanting more kids and looking forward to enjoying the next 20 years with this little scruff ball 😍

Thank you for for taking the time to response! I appreciate the balanced perspectives! I’m not going to do anything and just wait to see if this urge passes!

You would be insane to have a baby now. Your kids are 13 and 8! Why would you want to start over? Just thinking about pregnancy and birth, the newborn stage, a houseful of baby equipment, a pram in the car boot, nappies, weaning, sleepless nights… even having to go through chicken pox again 😂

God no.

My friend had a third an unplanned accident and her children were 12 and 10. They have left home and she is in the middle of a kid still in a high school.

It’s the last surge of hormones, I would leave it.