To be completely confused and overwhelmed about perimenopause

[inthekiddle]

Just don't know where to start! Everywhere I look there is different advice and a lot of it seems really unachievable.

Putting on weight, struggling to keep it off. Tried intermittent fasting but hadn't made any difference. If not eating for half the day every day doesn't help then surely if I start eating three meals a day again I'll put on even more? Am I supposed to just starve myself? Only eat one meal a day?

Advice to cut out sugar - sure but that's a pretty extreme lifestyle change for most people. No carbs, no alcohol, no desserts? We're told all our lives not to deprive ourselves and everything in moderation then we get to 40 and everyone's like oh wait no you can't eat now, you can't enjoy food.

Don't go out to restaurants because you'll definitely eat too much and you can't have a glass of wine. So basically don't see friends unless it's for a walk in the park. But friends are really important as you age so do make time for them.

Weight training. Sure, but I work full time and have children, how can I fit this in often enough for it to make a difference? Tried one weights class and one Pilates class a week, doesn't make any different to my weight. When can I do more while at the same time making time for my kids and shopping for healthy food?! Do cardio, don't do cardio.

Anyone else just overwhelmed with all this, plus you know, just getting through daily life?

What symptoms are you experiencing?

I've decided it's easier to embrace my extra stone and newly formed tummy and just work on not getting any fatter. I refuse to spend my old age starving myself and lifting weights.

Just do your best and be moderate. Watch portion size, try not to snack and eat your 5 a day.

Are you having any other symptoms ?

The goal of perimenopause isn’t about weight/body shape. What a weird way to approach it! Your body is changing and will change. What you eat can have a big impact on your symptoms, or none at all. Mostly, the thing which can make the biggest difference is HRT, because it’s hormones which are changing. Focus on health not appearance and you’ll find it much easier.

OP where are you getting all this extreme advice from? Everyone is different, so the way PM affects you and the things you might try to counteract those things is different for everyone. It sounds like you've gained some weight and are finding it hard to shift - yes? Intermittent fasting is effective for many people, maybe it doesn't work for you? It really should, because it's about eating less - a lot less - on certain days, so most people lose weight. Are you doing it properly? Like really being strict and adhering to the programme? My 47-year-old Dsis did it for a month earlier in the summer and she lost 4kg.

Me too! I put on weight but it stopped and now I just maintain myself there.. size 14 ( was 10-12) so not bad despite what the GP says.. I refuse to spend the rest of my life being obsessed about losing weight.. my body seems happy where it is so be it

I think the weight training is to build bone density as sometimes bones get more brittle after the menopause. It's all a bit overwhelming. However your body is starting to change. What peri symptoms are you having? If any??

I think I'm early on in peri. My periods are now erratic, I'm feeling more anxious intermittently, putting on weight especially on my tummy, moments of brain fog. It's not awful and not enough to start HRT but the weight is bothering me. All the things I have done all my life to stay slim no longer work well enough. Yes I am doing IF properly, I guess it just isn't enough on its own? Yes I do care about my weight and my shape, and I don't think that's unreasonable... everything we read says it's important to stay slim and eat less in old age. But then some people say no it's normal to gain weight and change shape, some people say it's not. Weight training is about bone density yes but also metabolism. See what I mean though? Even in a few replies people have varying approaches and this is partly what I get confused by. I can't figure out what to do, if anything

@inthekiddle can you ask for a referral to a menopause clinic??? I'm post menopausal and had all the symptoms. No hrt though, it didn't make any difference. Yes I wish I had done more to improve my bone density as now struggling with arthritis.

You need to figure out what works for you OP. It's as simple as that. For me, it's HRT, running and not snacking at all. If I eat three small meals a day and keep fit, I'm fine. My shape has changed a bit (tummy used to be flat - now I have a little podge), but otherwise I look pretty much the same as always. But that's just me. You need to figure out what is going to work for YOU.

People have varying approaches because it hits different people differently.

The advice about weight training is mostly about maintaining bone density into older age.

Most of the advice is very general "eat less move more" and will not necessarily work for you.

I am 49 and slim and very fit, doing a bunch of exercise, one meal
a day, no upfs, no sugar but that is easy as I don’t like cake ! I do drink like a fish, you’d all be horrified by the amount.

I don’t weight myself but I am changing shape. I can tell from my trousers - getting more hippy and lower tummy. I think that is fair enough - as long as I keep the exercise up. Just need to buy different cut trousers ! All my exercise is at home-

skipping
youtube yoga
weights with The Fitness app (Jillian micheals)
rowing.
do a lot of walking on office days.

I am hoping this will save me come 50+ !

OP, you don't have to do any of this stuff!
If you have serious symptoms, see a GP.
Otherwise, just live a normal life and be happy - that's it. Job done. Don't be one of those women that fusses over their (perfectly OK) health, because it will just drag you down, and make you boring as well!

Really needed this! Wise words very much appreciated from someone trying to embrace that extra stone!

I’m the same, managed to shift some lbs last year through intermittent fasting, cutting out booze and basically avoiding a social life for a few months. Put it all back on after!

My word recall is hit & miss and I’m often grumpy. Think I would benefit from HRT, I have the contraceptive implant so progesterone but maybe oestrogen would help?

I remember my mum’s body being cuddly at middle age, you just don’t think it will happen to your own body. Losing elasticity in my skin so I generally look ok for my age but my eyes look permanently tired.

Any advice on what to ask the GP for?

I also found it difficult to understand how I found it pretty easy to stay slim pre prei and suddenly the things that worked before stopped. There is no magic answer, you just have to find what works best for you and that might involve some patience and trail and error as your body and hormones are changing. I have accepted that I will never be size 8 while eating whatever I want but am not depriving myself of nice food and wine at weekends but I do have to be more conscious of what I eat in the week. Walking and some weight training is helping to tone and build strength but this also helps me mentally.

Weight and shape are two different things. The latter we have very little (if any) control over. Men and women store more weight in their middles as they get older. At 44 I'm slimmer than during periods in my teens and my 20s but my shape is definitely different.

I've been a yo yo dieter and have been "managing" my weight since my teens so it's nothing new to me. The only way I personally have found is to calorie count and log everything. I've managed to stay at a size 10/12 - 14/16 ish since my mid 30s. My best size is 10/12, BMI about 23/24, so not skinny but slim-ish. I do exercise but for health not figure.

I think expecting any changes from one weight session and one Pilates class is a bit unrealistic. It's all about consistency over time. Looong time.
In any case, exercise is not about weight loss. It is about keeping healthy and mobile and avoiding sarcopenia and osteoporosis.
IF is not a magic bullet. You lose weight if you are in a calorie deficit. You can have three meals a day and consume 2k calories or you can have one meal a day and consume 3k in a single sitting. Guess which will make you pile on weight...
I have a lot of examples in my family where women lost a significant amount of weight in their 50s and 60s (while eating an occasional slice of cake) so I don't think it is a given that you will pile on the lbs after you hit menopause.
Recent research shows that metabolism slowing down in older age is a myth, the main driver of weight gain in later years is changes in activity levels. Hormones can and do play a role in fat distribution but less so in overall body fat percentage.

My first advice is to stop reading advice on peri 🙂

Just take care of yourself and any changes that come your way. Honestly I think the whole topic is over blown. Yes your body is changing just like when you went through puberty you had to adjust and it meant things were different. So take these changes as they come and adjust.

I’m 50 and peri - have been for a few years now. I get fluctuating symptoms. I’ve been on HRT for a while which helps. My weight is stable but I have to work hard to keep it where it is - much more so than when I was younger. Fasting didn’t work for me. A friend of mine cut out all sugar and alcohol and looks amazing but it’s too restrictive for me. I think you just need to try and go with the flow a little. I do weight train but that’s because I want to prevent loss of bone density. That’s my personal choice.
have a look at the balance app and Louise newsome who is a menopause expert. She has some good pod casts that you can listen to. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. I have definitely spent too much time comparing myself to others and it’s exhausting!

53 and feeling good. Here's what I can share:

• allocate a drink one time a week but now often skip that
• intermittent fast 16 hours
• avoid sugar
• Pilates 4/5 times a week
• Protect my peace ! So important .

I'm not on HRT but would take it if I needed it as I have seen it work wonders with friends.

Treat the symptoms. Everyone's perimenopause is different.

I think just please yourself. Most people are a lot more sedentary than they realise (struggle to reach 10000 steps a day) and that's why they pork up. Build in movement, eat and drink what gives you real pleasure rather than ballast. I drink alcohol every day, three meals every day unless I'm working over lunch, sure as heck don't cut out dessert. The idea of all these rules is awful I'd rather just die than live decades like that.

Menopause hits everyone differently, that's why it's so difficult to manage.

Some get no symptoms, some only one or two, but others are hit with seemingly every single symptom imaginable and have a really rough time of it.

I'm currently under investigation for early peri-menopause as I've started experiencing a whole range of random symptoms that all seem to be linked to my cycle. I'd suggest making a GP or nurse appointment to discuss things.