I've had 5 hours of sleep since Thursday

[crispyeggs]

Baby is going through some teething/regression issues. Cannot snatch more than an hour of sleep at a time and after X amount of wakeups, I just go past the point of sleeping.

Today, I'm really sad and feel so lonely. Baby just napping so I have a spare 20 mins so I can at least have a cuppa (I can't nap, takes me over an hour to get to sleep) and I just wish I had someone to come and look after her for a couple of hours. Her dad is out all day today and no family who are able/willing to help. Just frustrated and want to moan at how shit it is to be raising a little one with no support network.

You must feel dreadful. Why is her dad out today? Can he help at night time?

My sleep never recovered from DD's first 2 years. She's a teenager now <weeps>

Can dad take over at any point?

It can be very lonely when it feels like everyone else has lots of support from family. Just take it easy and be kind to yourself. Try to get some fresh air with your lo, it works wonders x

My heart goes out to you, I had a terrible sleeper.

practically speaking - would you consider cosleeping ? Partner can go elsewhere (sofa if needs be), and you may get more sleep. It saved me when my sons sleep was terrible, as I would half wake up, breastfeed him back to sleep, and we would both sleep again after.

for today - lower your expectations to the absolute minimum. Coffee/tea is your friend.
if you can get outside for some fresh air/ sunshine that will help! Never mind hair/makeup/clothing (the amount of times I went out in pyjamas with coat over…).

more generally- can’t your partner do a shift at night so you can get 4 hours in a row?

And finally (and ignore me if I’m overstepping), does it always take you this long to fall asleep? Might you be anxious? I know I went through a phase with my son where it took me ages to fall asleep because I was anxious and worrying about things (theoretical things which never actually happened I should add).

Also: yes! It is incredibly lonely doing this without family or other support nearby.

You’ve posted before about your baby’a sleep and seem to have had some success with a sleep consultant. Can’t you get them back?

How old is the baby? Breast or bottle?

I found it hard because even if DH was available to do the night wakings, I simply couldn’t sleep if I could hear them fussing…. nature I guess.

If DH is able to take over is there somewhere else you can go to rest where you won’t hear them?

or as PP said, perhaps cosleeping? Even if for naps but not overnight if you’re not comfortable with it.

Thank you all. She had a terrible first 6 months but following the 6 mo regression, has been much better (2 wakes per night, mostly night weaned now). She's cutting a tooth and it's making her very very sad and I think it's upsetting her sleep as she's clearly in pain and I think xalpol is only taking the edge off for an hour or so through the night. It'll be fine, I'm.sure this is just a little bad patch but I'm.just sad I have nobody to turn to. We are going to get out in the fresh air today and try to make the .most of things. Just would love a hug from someone and to be told I'm not a shit mum.

Oh OP I remember those days vividly. Where is the baby's father? Can you call him to come home and say you don't feel safe as you're so tired? Sometimes we have to make sacrifices when a baby arrives and this applies to their father too.

You’re not a shit mum.

Give some ibuprofen between calpol doses. Anbesol
liquid wipes the floor with teething gel.

(((((((((((((((((Crispyeggs)))))))))))))))))

You are not a shit mum.

Where is her dad/your partner in all this?!

It's miserable, I hear you. I suggest trying Nurofen rather Calpol, it tends to work much better for teething. Also the liquid Ambesol dabbed on (not the gel) can also help.

@crispyeggs you poor thing . I wish there was some sort of support for parents in these situations. I have loads of family but zero practical support at all when my dcs were young . Two of mine didn’t sleep well for years and when you have multiple children (I have 3), it goes on for a long, long time .. my eyes were literally hanging out of my head, I’m late 30’s now with much older kids (teens) and I look better now than I did in my late 20’s/early 30’s. I will never understand why some families are like this. I’d help a stranger in this situation.
This will pass for you , in the meantime just try and rest (you won’t be able to sleep) when they nap, don’t think about the lack of sleep too much. Are you breastfeeding? Even if you are you could get your dh (if you have one) to take over for a few hours , maybe take a piriton (if bf check if you can ) as this can really help to make you drozey and put in earplugs and go somewhere else in the house to sleep.

If you was a shit mum you'd of ignored your baby and slept anyway. Your an amazing mum, it'll be the lack of sleep making you feel down.

Soon as your husband is home hand him the baby and go catch up on your sleep. Sending you big hugs!

I've been there. It's brutal. You aren't a shit Mum. You're a great Mum- have a hug from me!
When things are that bad I wouldn't be having any cuppas- no caffeine whatsoever and every single time baby sleeps you lie down and Put your phone AWAY! Close your eyes and relax. You probably won't sleep. But you might get a minute or 2 microsleep and it will help.
But alternatively getting out in the fresh air is another good one. Just don't overdo it. You'll get through this. I've got a teething baby and he's driving me crazy!!!

Anbesol liquid is fantastic, try and get some (not the gel).

I used to go to bed super early like 7pm so I could catch up on sleep for a few hours and my partner dealt with the baby then I would take over again when he went to bed at 11pm or whatever. Sometimes he would do much longer than that to give me extra sleep!

Asking the bleeding obvious, but where is the dad today? If he's at work that's fair enough BUT he should be enabling you to catch up on some sleep when home and pulling his weight generally

I really feel for you and remember it well.

I'd be asking your partner to come home and at least get a head start on tonight by going to bed at six or seven.

Thanks all for the nurofen and anbesol liquid tips! Anbesol liquid definitely gives her momentary relief, and I did have ro resort to nurofen too in the middle of the night when she was clearly in agony as I remembered the GP saying its more effective for teething. She got a 2 hour stretch out of that last night, fingers crossed this tooth will cut soon!
She napped longer than expected so I did lie down for 20 mins and feel a bit brighter than I did, but you know when you really, really just want a cuddle?

OP, why aren't you answering the questions about the baby's dad?

That's (potentially) the most straightforward answer to this

Agreed.

Try giving the Nurofen half an hour before bed. That used to buy me four hours initial sleep. Never worked as well given later, and honestly Calpol is a waste of time for teething so if you're going to give something give the most effective thing.

Thank you, I'll remember this! I always worry with nurofen as it's ibuprofen and I won't give ut unless she has a bottle, which she doesn't always do.

I told dad we would be fine, he rarely goes out with friends and I didn't want to ruin it for him. He will be out all day until after we go to bed (not drinking, has travelled to an event). He tries helping at night but our baby usually settles easier for me but I call on him when I can't cope.

She's old enough for solids now, so I'd offer her a little supper an hour before bed. A lot of sleep experts recommend banana and almond butter on wholemeal toast to maximise sleep. Then she can have the Nurofen. Even if she just has a bit of fruit or whatever that would be fine for the Nurofen.

I get worrying about the Nurofen, but honestly you functioning on such little sleep is more of a risk to her in terms of tripping whilst carrying her, accidentally falling asleep on the sofa with her etc. It's not forever, just whilst the tooth comes through to get you a little sleep.