to be really cross about dp's rash behaviour again? (possibly but need a bit of perspective)

[alittleone2]

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If I were in that situation, I'd let him go for that job. From what you have said, I doubt that if he doesn't take it, he will put in any effort at all to get a different one. At least this way he will be earning some money. I feel for you , the whole situation sounds rubbish.

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It is, sort of, possible to have a major addiction problem with just cannibis. (like it's possible to display worrying addictive behaviour when the addiction is to one cigarette a day/a packet of a particular brand of crisps every evening).
I think you've made up your mind to move out and that you are right to do so, but do be careful, as the moving-out period can be a dangerous flashpoint with partners who have already exhibited abusive behaviour, and yours has.

Honestly,why do you bother even wasting 5 minutes on this loser????

I was prepared to be a tad sympathetic towards him but it's obvious from your last few posts he's a complete addict, & has no brain cells left worth using ie he's beyond reasoning with.

As madamez rightly says do be careful he could turn nasty, it's good to think of an escape plan (& TBH good for you for the white lie about your salary) but is it worth being unhappy till then?

Could you cancel the SKY subscription & stuff like that? Or would that inflame things further?

You may be putting money into your joint mortgage account but make sure he is paying the FULL amount every month-could you arrange to pay your half direct to the mortgage lender? A friend of mine's ex remortgaged unbeknown to her, by forging her signature, she had all kinds of shite to sort out when she started to divorce him.

Sorry to be so negative but you are right to want a better life for you & your DD, good luck on sorting it out-I'm sure there will be many useful suggestions/experiences on here.

I wouldn't trust him to pay the mortgage. Do you see joint mortgage payment statements? If not, get them sent to you - or arrange to be able to see your mortgage account online.

Is there anyway you could finish with him and get HIM to move out (like he did to you last year). Can you afford the mortgage on your own?

Do you have friends/ family nearby to help if things get traumatic? Is there anyone you could move in with til the house is sold? I think you are right to get out of this relationship, but October is a long way away.

I think you need to start being very very shrewd talk to your mortgage provider start paying your half direct and start saving like crazy to leave in October. Please make sure he cannot run up any debts against the property or in your name. Please seek legal advice.

It does sound like an addiction problem but you can't help him deal with that unless he wants to.