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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To keep these because of memories?

21 replies

Getthatwindowclosed · 24/08/2024 15:41

I'm currently clearing out my spare room. When I moved seven years ago, the spare room very much became a 'I'll deal with this later' kinda space. I've been dealing with illness etc in that time, so not really had the chance to sort everything out properly.

I'm good at being ruthless sometimes but there are some items I'm having real trouble with. I have my leather jacket from almost 30 years ago (😳) and some other items from then. I suppose it feels like throwing away a connection to the past, to happy times.

I guess my question is, does anyone else have issues with letting go? And would you hold on to items like this?

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 24/08/2024 15:43

I wouldn't keep anything that didn't fit me.
I'm very ruthless about throwing stuff out, or sticking it on Ebay, or giving it to a charity shop.

shallweorderpizza · 24/08/2024 15:44

I can’t bring myself to chuck the baby car seat. I just can’t. They came home in that 😭

Zonder · 24/08/2024 15:46

I used to keep more things. Now I take a photo and make a little scrapbook. Takes up far less space.

LividSummers · 24/08/2024 15:46

Oh god I couldn’t be keeping baby seats. Take a photo, sell it, get the space back.

(but I live in a tiny house. If you have garages and lofts for miles then who cares)

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 24/08/2024 15:46

If space is no issue and it brings you joy then keep.
If you haven't got space or it's getting really cluttered then just take a nice photo of it on a hanger and charity shop it.

KylieKangaroo · 24/08/2024 15:47

I am keeping a lot of clothes incase my daughters want to wear them when they're older! They'll probably hate all of it but I would have loved it if my Mum kept some of her 70s clothes for me 😀

tuvamoodyson · 24/08/2024 15:47

No…I’m a chucker-outer

BirthdayRainbow · 24/08/2024 15:48

I'm moving and have really struggled as I kept everything. It then dawned on me that I kept it all as it was the children's and I kept it for them but if they don't want it, it can go. This morning I feel able to let the cots and pram go and I'm in shock. Also looking for a new home for my wedding dress.

I feel lighter, free, okay.

Boopbeepbeepboop · 24/08/2024 15:52

Just take a photo of something and then get rid of it. Sounds like the amount of 'stuff' is dragging you down, why let it?

SprigatitoYouAndIKnow · 24/08/2024 15:53

My mum kept lots of stuff that me and my siblings chucked away the second she was clearing out her loft and it was pure problem to store. Of course I now keep too much stuff that my kids won't give a damn about and the cycle continues. I wish I was a minimalist.

SleepingisanArt · 24/08/2024 15:57

I turned a favourite item into a cushion cover and another into a memory bear. I used to be more sentimental but am much less so now I'm older! I also don't want to leave the mess for my children that I'm going to have to sort out when my parents die!

TheCountessofLocksley · 24/08/2024 15:59

Zonder · 24/08/2024 15:46

I used to keep more things. Now I take a photo and make a little scrapbook. Takes up far less space.

Totally agree.
Used to do this with the kids artwork too!

Could you have a memory bear made out of scraps if your favourite things - that way you retain a visual (and tactile) reminder of past times?

SkaneTos · 24/08/2024 16:02

Yes.
But I try to get rid of things, because I have so much stuff! I try not to buy anything, and I do my best to declutter, and get rid of stuff I don't need.
When I do get rid of something, I very rarely regret it.
I never sell things, I always leave it to a charity (if it's in good condition, of course).

SkaneTos · 24/08/2024 16:07

Examples

One thing I have not managed to get rid of:
The shirt I wore the day I passed my driving test.
It doesn't fit anymore. But I just can't get rid of it.

Things I have managed to get rid of:
Some things that were given to me by a beloved relative who is now dead.
Some books and a painting. I reasoned with myself that the books would bring more happiness to a younger person. And I kept the painting and actually found a place for it on the wall.

Somepeoplearesnippy · 24/08/2024 16:09

I had a terrible year clearing my mums house when she moved into,a retirement flat. Then I had to clear the flat when she went into care. Then eventually I had to clear her room at the care home when she died. Decades and decades worth of outdated, valueless junk.

I've vowed never to inflict this awful job on my DC My rule of thumb now is there is something that if I haven't used it for a few years and my kids don't want it - it goes. Charity shop, freecycle, eBay, dump if necessary . Whatever. if it's no longer useful or wanted it's just clutter.

I also have a one in, one out policy. If I buy a new dress/pair of shoes/saucepan something similar is given away. When I'm debating over a purchase I ask myself 'what would I be willing to give away to have this?'

ClipTap · 24/08/2024 16:19

My DD is thoroughly enjoying wearing old clothes of mine and boots that I've kept in the loft

She's a bit annoyed I didn't keep more stuff because I wore some really cool clothes

But because I travelled around a lot I had to get rid of more stuff than I'd have liked

MargaretThursday · 24/08/2024 16:19

I understand.
I have clothes I my wardrobe that if I ever fit into again, are either too worn out or too dated for me to ever realistically wear again. But they have memories. So I keep them with the excuse that maybe the children will use them as costumes (adult children who like acting).

I wish I could throw them out without a care, and I have pared down, but I can't do that last step.

Aligirlbear · 24/08/2024 16:25

I have had to sort out my MIL’s bungalow and room at the care home and move my DPs out of the family home ( there for 60 years) and into an assisted living flat - all in 2 years as a continuous job which ran into one another. So much “stuff” - mostly worthless and myself / my siblings wouldn’t give it houseroom. The charity shops did very well !

The thing is what seems so important to us is often meaningless to others and the amount of stuff our DPs thought we would want and we had none of it !

It was a horrendous job and as a result I have had a massive sort out to save my relatives the pain, and it’s now one in one out and do I really need it ? Also applied the same rule to my DPs in their flat.

HoHoHoliday · 24/08/2024 16:41

It's fine to keep things that have sentimental value. The problem comes when you keep too much stuff and enforce sentimental value onto things that don't really have it.
A leather jacket from 30 years ago, I can imagine holds many memories of your past, I bet it looks good even if you don't wear it, it sounds special. That's something I would keep. A scraggy old jumper from 30 years ago - no.

MereDintofPandiculation · 24/08/2024 17:33

I have got rid of things, and I've regretted it.

Things that give you pleasure when you happen upon them aren't just "clutter".

Getthatwindowclosed · 25/08/2024 09:46

Thank you all for replying! Feel so much better that a lot of you feel the same. Will reply properly later :)

I love the idea of taking a photo and at least I have some way of remembering but I can move on. Not sure if quite there yet but will keep thinking about it.

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