Mid week large weddings

[Mumforadecade1]

Is it unreasonable for couples to plan large (80+ day guests ) mid week weddings and expect Friends/Family to use annual leave to turn up ? I understand it’s cheaper to book a nice venue mid week but I am sick of using holidays to attend these things !
Aibu or should bride / groom expect lower turn out at mid week weddings ?

Don't go then. I love weddings and have happily taken annual leave to attend some, including weekend ones if there's some travel involved.

If you don't want to then don't. Everyone expects some rate of drop-out from their invitations. It's no big deal.

Not everyone can take of time midweek if you work in a school during term time it’s a no no

If someone wasn’t willing to take a day annual leave to come to my wedding then I wouldn’t particularly want them there. I Any weddings I’ve been to I’ve been happy to take a day off because I’ve been looking forward to a friend or family members wedding, anyone else I’ve spoke to seems to have the same opinion. A Thursday is my favourite day for a wedding because you get a nice long weekend out of it

It's not always that simple though. I live a long way from my school and university friends so it's 3-4 days leave per wedding. I'm also on a much lower income than my friends. Weddings (in my experience anyway) seem to come altogether and there were a couple of years where most of my annual leave and a lot of my money went on seeing close friends getting married. I definitely had to decide between hen nights/weddings/which weddings because of money and leave constraints. It's also exhausting using all your leave on travelling the length of the country and back and not actually getting time off when you just mooch.

If someone didn’t want to use annual leave for our wedding, I didn’t want to pay £100 for their meal. I see absolutely no issue :)

We work weekends so we always have to take time off for weddings. Either you can or can’t go. It’s not really a big thing.

I got a bit annoyed once when a relative did this AFTER asking my DD to be a bridesmaid. It wasn’t only mid week but also term time, plus a fair distance away requiring an overnight stay- so 3 days out of school and off work. That wasn’t a fair ask and they should have been more thoughtful as my DD was really upset to then be told that we couldn’t make it.

To be fair to them, they fully understood and didn’t complain when we and others declined.

Like others, I have no problem with couples doing this but they can’t then get upset if people can’t make it. And they shouldn’t go asking children to attend as bridesmaids etc until they’ve cleared it with the parents!

if you can’t make it then just decline the invite.

There's no way i'd pay 3 x the price for a Saturday wedding just so a guest doesn't have to dip into one days annual leave!😅.

But this is mumsnet where every guest is a teacher who can't take time off mid-week.

Your choice, just as it is those invited can decline, hopefully if they do it is in good time.

Given that higher demand means weekend charges are more, I don't blame anyone for choosing midweek.

God there are some miserable people on here. DD2 is getting married midweek next year, around 90 people. She has very good teacher friends so has planned it for the school holidays and checked with them before deciding on a date, just to pre-empt that argument.

As @Capybara95 and @Elphamouche have said, if 'friends' don't want to take a day or two of annual leave to attend, they're probably not particularly good friends anyway so they won't be much missed. So just decline, it most likely suits both parties.

Yeah I think it’s cheeky having a wedding on a weekday. Far cheaper for the bride and groom but awkward for every guest. It’s easy saying it’s not a summons but let’s be honest if it’s your sibling or best mate or anyone you have an ounce of respect for - you have to go.

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Was thinking this under 120 is small here lol. Anyway good luck. Some people may skip the service so that they don't need the full day off!