To have a Fuck Off Fund?

[TheBeesKnee]

I currently have 6 months' salary in Premium Bonds that I'm topping up with bonuses, birthday money and any dribs and drabs that come in. My aim is to get it to full holdings.

It gives me comfort to have relatively liquid cash that I can use in the event that I need to suddenly start over.

Sometimes I am so cross/fed up with DP that I daydream about buying a little flat somewhere by myself and decorating it exactly as I want and working on creative projects every other weekend while he has DS.

This feeling normally subsides pretty quickly but I like having the "option" there as a reality that I wouldn't have if I'd put that money into our mortgage.

To be clear, this is separate from savings/investments etc and is earmarked for this specific purpose.

YABU - I do not have a FOF
YANBU - I have a FOF

My mother-in-law herself told me that I should have running away money.

(Even though her son does not need running away from.)

No, it's fine, wise even.
Fuck off fund! 😂

Please explain that.

It doesn't matter if you have 1 bond (holding) or 50,000, you number assigned to each bond is entered into draw. Of course, the more you have, the greater your chance of winning.

You have a much better chance of a win with full holdings.

My late mum told me always to have an account my husband didn't know about. Most women don't need it, but it's pretty dire for those who need it and don't have it.

It's a good idea but no,.it would be impossible on our wages. I can just about save enough for holidays

It doesn't matter if you have 1 bond (holding) or 50,000, you number assigned to each bond is entered into draw. Of course, the more you have, the greater your chance of winning.

Well quite. Meanwhile you still hold the bonds. So why would maxing out your holding not be worth doing? It's a thread about a FO fund.

Yes, have acknowledged this!!
I understand!

YANBU, OP.

Thinking about it, it was the need for choices (and FO choice is the biggest choice), that pushed me to earn much more. I had soft pedalled through the pre school years and several more years of caring responsibilities, but at a certain point I realised I needed options even if the delegation and juggle would be a nightmare.

It somewhat depends on how you and your DP structure money. If you're siphoning off 'family' money and DP doesn't have any savings or is the higher earner and subsiding your FOF then you are unreasonable. (A man doing this would be highly criticised on here)

hoeever, If DP has their own savings too or you keep all money separate and pay for your lifestyles equally then no, you're fine.

I didn't have one, and I so wish I had. Hard times will have just been that little bit easier if I had.

My dd has one as a result. I was insistent on it since the day I realised it's importance. Putting funds into it wasn't always that easy but it's there.

Now, recently at age 21 she had to use it. I dread to think of the situation she could have been in if it wasn't there.

So I will now help her to set up another.

Yep, I had the house and 50k. Wasn't married.

Always a great idea. Even it it's just an incentive to save.

When you max out the bonds get an high interest ISA OP. They have a better rate of return.

I do. The only person who knows about it is my daughter. I love my partner but have learnt from previous relationship to be extremely cagey (secretive) about my money.

I would imagine that most mothers/partners/wives dream of 'escaping' at times and having a getaway for personal space/DIY projects. Wouldn't it be great to have some 'me' space away from it all at times?.In the real world, most people I know don't have the funds to have a FOFs. FOFs are different to having your own financial resources (including wages). Years ago, it was the norm for most women to be financially dependent on their husbands.Thankfully, those days are over .

This is a bit harsh.

It's not always thought about as necessary
It's not always an affordable option to all

If nothing else, perhaps OP posting this might make some think about the fact it is sometimes very necessary, and it might take a little planning to get going.

Please don't imply people have no brain cells as they haven't done as you have.

I didnt have one the first time I wanted to leave and had separated. By the time I knew I was ready to leave for good I had one.

I will be instilling this principle in both my DC and I dream of winning the lottery of having enough money to put one away for DSis.

Secret fund? Can't I just open a bank account in my own name?

I don't just want a FOF. I want FOM (Fuck Off Money) so that I can always tell my employer to stick it if I have had enough.

I have one, though it wasn't set up for that purpose, I like having it. He knows about it. He has separate stuff too, though he likes to put it in VCTs to stick it to the tax man a bit. It's a good feeling being of independent means to one another, I think it gives us both a good feeling in a way. The balance of power feels right.

I have one. My dh has always known about it. I had to flee with my children when I was in my late twenties. My exh made sure I left with only our clothes in a few bags. Severe financial control. And I swore I'd never find myself in that situation ever again.

I've had to dip into it twice. Once to get my dd into a new safe home after her bf assaulted her. And again to pay for private treatment for my ds. It's not just a FOF anymore, it's my emergency help money.

Dh also has his pot.

I wish I'd had one, would have been a massive help when I left exh.

This is sensible if finances allow.

Oh I see why you're confused!

My FOF is saved in Bonds. I thought I might as well win some money!

I have a separate ISA for regular savings..