To ask if anyone has ever managed to successfully go back from LC/NC relationships a relative

[AliBalliBoo]

My family (me, DH, DS11, DD8) are zero contact with my parents as is my DSis and her DH and their two kids (14&10).

We've all been reducing contact with them over the last couple of years but decided in January we just couldn't keep going.

Lots of behaviours that just were becoming too hard to deal with. Not going into details because they're way too long to list and describe but completely unengaged with the kids, missing birthdays, declining requests from the kids to do stuff because they're "too much hard work" , just being mean and spiteful and openly jealous and bitchy and sneering about my inlaws over stuff like the gifts they bought DS for Christmas and how they're "always round interfering in our lives" they're round because they're nice! Take the hint!! 🤔

Anyway, my Dsis who's inlaws both died several years ago is starting to have doubts about the NC thing, I see she feels like she wants that parental connection that I miss less because I have my inlaws and I'm wondering, setting aside whether my parents have taken stock and would be willing to try and be better people has anyone ever successfully moved on from being NC and did the person/people on the other side change?

Will they be better people just because you've decided to contact them again? Do you truly think this period of no contact will have made them change their behaviour?

I think your sister needs to do what is right for her but she needs to leave you out of the process.

My concern for you would be that your sister becomes a source for their affection when they can set you up as a common enemy. That is very common in some types of family dynamics golden child/scapegoat. If you can keep the relationships completely separate then I think that is your best bet.

I had periods of no contact with my sister over many years. Each time after so many months, or longer, I would really start to miss her and we would resume our relationship. But then after a short period I would find the contact so upsetting and negative I would break it off again. I realised it was the IDEA of a sisterly relationship that I craved and longed for but that was never going to be a reality. So I am finally at peace with having nothing to do with her or the remaining members of my family and I feel a real sense of relief.

As pp said if you resume contact with your parents it is probable that very soon the behaviours that upset you previously will again be so problematic that you will wish you hadn't tried to revive the relationship.

If your sister wants to get back in contact with them then that is her call. She can do what she feels best for her. But I think you should make your decision purely on what is best for you and not feel obliged to follow her lead.