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Original poster

To find DH working out unattractive

39 replies

JimmyStar · 23/08/2024 21:43

DH is going on a trip next week with his mates who he sees very rarely but has known for 25 years. He's mid 40s.

He has always kept himself trim but in the build up to this trip, he's become obsessed.

He worked out this morning (when meant to be looking after kids), then he just skipped kids bedtime to go swimming but the pool was closed, so now he's doing another workout (while I have a glass of wine and dinner alone)

He has become v concerned with looking good for his trip. I know you will say its women but he seems so uninterested in other women, he always has. He never flirts. He's one of those men who hero worship his bloke friends.

I just find it unattractive. And a bit worrying. He isn't interested in anything other than himself. I just suggested we could spend evening together instead of him doing a 2nd workout of the day at 9.40pm but he got really shitty saying "most wives would be happy their husband wants to stay in shape"

Is that true? Should I put a sock in it?

OP posts:
Temushopper · 23/08/2024 22:28

My OH is getting increasingly into cycling to stay fit. It’s definitely a sense of mortality as older thing. I think it’s fab as long as it doesn’t impede him doing a fair share of house/family jobs. When it does it irritates me immensely and I say so. It’s totally fair to use your free time for building fitness. It’s totally not fair to use your partners (regardless of what they plan to use their free time for and whether or not you think it’s a good use of time).

eggandchip · 23/08/2024 22:33

Im like you husband op ive really started to put work outs and healthy eating in place no more junk and take outs.
I have done in the past but failed this time for some reason its sticking and i like it.
I dont go to the gym but i work out at home im not doing it for anyone other than my self.
My belly as gotten flatter in 3 weeks i feel better my chin is going now.
My skin is glowing.
Im not obsessed but im not going to stop ill soon be in my 40s and i want to look good when i get there.

5128gap · 23/08/2024 22:43

They could also be one of these tedious groups where insulting each other passes for wit. They seem to be quite common amongst the 'lads' holiday cohort. Perhaps he doesn't want to be a targeted for the hilarious banter.

eggandchip · 23/08/2024 22:48

You could always join him work out together.

Jesss21 · 23/08/2024 22:48

OP, read back over your message and imagine it was a husband posting about his wife and she wanted to get in shape before a girl's weekend (perhaps with friends that are far more gym fit and bikini ready than her). If the man was complaining that she wanted to do a workout rather than hang out with him on one evening, he would be called insecure and controlling.

Pandasnacks · 23/08/2024 22:52

It's just one more week to go, leave him to it. If this carries on after the trip then fair enough it's annoying.

Original poster
JimmyStar · 23/08/2024 23:13

I don't know if it's midlife crisis, just the holiday, he's secretly gay...all good theories. I think its midlife crisis most probably, but I jist find him self obsessed. He keeps telling me about some new exercise and it's going to sort out this or that. I'm probably a slob and of course he can stay fit but it's at the cost of everything else. Two work outs a day? Not letting himself eat or drink anything? I find it unattractive. Give me a soft belly, a glass of wine, and some conversation once in a while!

OP posts:
JulianFawcettMP · 23/08/2024 23:36

There are many posters on here who are simply DESPERATE to insinuate cheating. Plenty on this thread and they know who they are. I think they get off on it.

Of course sometimes it is the case but just don't let the doom mongers affect you without evidence. Especially the mad one who has decided your husband is gay. She needs a hobby

Dumbledore167 · 23/08/2024 23:37

5128gap · 23/08/2024 22:43

They could also be one of these tedious groups where insulting each other passes for wit. They seem to be quite common amongst the 'lads' holiday cohort. Perhaps he doesn't want to be a targeted for the hilarious banter.

This is exactly what it’ll be. Groups of male friends are (in my experience) brutal to one another via “banter”

alwaysmovingforwards · 23/08/2024 23:41

theduchessofspork · 23/08/2024 21:51

He needs to do his fair share with the kids and everything else, beyond that I’d ignore it, his spare time is his own.

Agreed. OP came across quite judgemental to me.

OverthinkingRogue · 23/08/2024 23:43

I hardly ever workout, and im 50, but then i have a high metabolism (i know, im cursed), honestly im most probably obese on the inside, id much prefer a conversation with a little red wine any day.

Kona84 · 23/08/2024 23:59

Is he doing the 75 hard challenge? That is 2 workouts per day

NotSoHotMess24 · 24/08/2024 00:01

Candlesandmatches · 23/08/2024 21:55

This is prime mid life crisis age. It’s probably this

This!

Tell him to watch out - my dad gave himself a hernia when he had his.

Moonshiners · 24/08/2024 00:04

Hoglet70 · 23/08/2024 21:58

It really pisses me off that people have immediately tried to put suspicion on the trip. I have starved myself before seeing friends as I don't want to look worse than them - I have NO interest in shagging behind DH's back.

That's so sad to hear. I hope you are OK.

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