To ask this about housesitting etiquette

[libertybonds]

We are looking after a variety of plants and animals for friends of friends while staying in their (very nice) property.

They have asked us to contribute to the cleaner, which is £100/week

They would probably have the cleaner come anyway as they want to maintain the relationship. But it's true that the cleaner will be tidying up the house while we are there creating a normal level of dirtiness from showering, kitchen use, etc.

Would you contribute? How much?

I agree with the above texts. They think you are the biggest mugs, and to be honest you are to allow them to be such complete CF's towards you.

The vulgarity of them arguing the point over £100.
OP, for goodness sake find some self respect.

I think just be polite and straightforward.

Hi CF, we agreed to do the animal and house sit for free in exchange for accommodation. We're sure you agree this is a fair deal, given the going rates for housesitting. We obviously will keep the house clean and leave everything as we found it. If you wish to hire a cleaning service once we leave, this is entirely your choice and will of course be at your expense. If this arrangement doesn't suit you, we are happy to hand over the house and petsitting to someone else. Just let us know who we should hand over to and when. If you would like a recommendation for an agency that may be able to provide someone at short notice, let me know. All best wishes.

OP, DM me if you need an agency name and number!

What did they say?

Please please just be clear with them!

Hi there

Noted that you still want the cleaner to come. To be clear, we are offering our services for free in return for board. We were happy to do this despite most pet sitters charging around £30 per day. We would not however, be happy about being out of pocket for a service that we neither want nor need. It's entirely up to you whether you have your cleaner come whilst you are away, and we are starting to feel embarrassed that you keep trying to pass this cost on to us.

All is well here.
Best
XXX

@RichmondReader a good message but that number of animals and level of care would cost considerably more than £30 a day, I'd say a minimum of £50.

I can’t believe I’m reading this! They actually want you to contribute towards the cleaner? I’d tell them you can’t do it anymore! Watch them backtrack very quickly as finding pet sitters is not easy.

Time to just reply “lol.”

6 animals and cage cleaning wouid be significantly higher than £30 a day but ye to everything else.

"So we get to clean up all your pet's shit and keep them alive and care for them AND pay for the privilege? Hard no. The least you can do is pay your own cleaner as you usually do.'

FFS

Say you’re not paying for the cleaner whilst you do them a favour to house sit. CFs

I like Richmonds snswer but probably wouldn't be brave enough. But I think I'd need to keep reminding myself that it really doesn't natter how annoyed they are, you can leave with no detriment to yourself but they need you to look after the animals so I might persuade myself to send the message eventually. They are being completely unreasonable and you are in the right so you shouldn't feel awkward about sending something like that.

Look, you need to respond and state that you are not willing to pay for a cleaner. Full stop. It really is as simple as that. If they reply and try to argue with that, ask them who can they ask to pet sit in your place as your agreement is over. You don't have to explain yourself any further. It's not exactly a nice deal for you if you're spending the whole time feeling anxious about their frankly fucking ridiculous expectations.

They have responded to my text about not needing the cleaner by trying still to make us pay for the cleaner (and making clear that they want the cleaner to come in any case ).

Well, this isn't really a problem given the mechanics of payment that you described. They are paying the cleaner themselves by bank transfer and seeking reimbursement by bank transfer from you. Reply saying that if they want the cleaner to come, that's fine but you will not be paying for her.

And don't.

Honestly, OP you really need to find some backbone here. I know it's hard in a slightly grey area but being walked over like this is not a good example to your kids. They sound relatively young and I'm sure you haven't shared all the ins and outs but I bet they've picked up on your feelings.

Are you 'house sitting' because they needed a house sitter, or because you needed somewhere to live?

Good point. Are the 'other reasons' you want to be in this location OP such that you don't want to quit/be chucked out at short notice ? Because for example for this period of time you're also having to look after an elderly parent who lives nearby.

CF's just cannot help themselves.
Mean people are disgusting.

40 years ago as a teen, a woman asked me would I be available for a summer babysitting job for 6 hours a day £1.50 an hour. She'd got my name from the lovely woman I did a bit of night time babysitting for.
This was 6 weeks before the holidays began.

I agreed as I was looking for a summer job, as were all my friends. She lived 10 minutes walk from me in a lovely large house.
A week from starting I was offered a great job through a friend in a shoe shop her aunt owned. I would have loved to have taken it up, but had unfortunately committed to the babysitting job.

The friday before I started on the monday, she rang our house phone to confirm my start time and said that in fact the job would pay £1 as her friend was only paying that to another teen!
I got off the phone in shock and had a think.
I rang my friend who said I could still have the shoe shop job.
I then rang the woman back and said thank you but no thank you, but
I was no longer interested in the job at the now reduced rate and I quickly hung up and didn't answer the phone when she rang back.
She called multiple times and was eventually told I had gone out.

That evening she called to the house and was very upset as I was "leaving her down last minute".
I was having none of it. I told her that I had turned down the shoe shop job, but she decided to rip me off last minute. I was now starting the shoe shop on monday and was absolutely not available.

She had really messed up and was so stuck and outraged.
I made absolutely sure to tell the woman who had given my name to her exactly what happened.
I didn't feel the least bit sorry for her and it was a great lesson in standing up for myself.

I hate mean CF's.

Op you need to say they you are not happy to pay for a cleaner. You will leave the house in good condition (ie. as you found it). It's up to them if they wish to fund the cleaner to come.
I would remind them that you are doing them a favour looking after their pets. If they aren't happy with that you be are happy for them to arrange someone else to look after their pets.

We have a beautiful house of similar value in London and could have done with spending time there sorting some things out.

This house is near some family members and I thought it would be nice for my children to experience a bit of country life, so I was excited to house sit. Then it turned out to be more work than expected, but we didn't complain or anything - just accepted it's part of the deal.

The cleaner issue seems a bridge too far!

@Treesandsheepeverywhere that's shocking!!!! I actually had something similar happen, where a woman I knew asked me to babysit and later acted like we had agreed a different (obviously lower) fee. Fortunately, she had written it on a piece of paper which I showed her after my mum intervened and insisted I stand up for myself.

Glad you learned the lesson of not being a doormat. Annoying I still am...!

Ignore it! Honestly, don't mention it. If they make a big issue of it, REMIND them of everything you've done FREE OF CHARGE for them. Utter Cheeky Fuckers.

Absolutely don't pay them for the cleaner after this! Present them with your own bill if they want to go down that route. Honestly outrageous behaviour!!

Just leave and don't transfer the money, say you need your card reader to set up a new payee and it's at home. Then when you get home say "on reflection, we have saved you alot of money house/pet sitting and think us being out of pocket for doing such a favour is not something we are comfortable with." Then don't engage any further. Before you leave, have the place tidy and take pics of each room incase they try talk bullshit that you left a mess.

If you pay for the cleaner you may be very frustrated with yourself afterwards. You'll know yourself whether it's the sort of thing you could be thinking about for a long time, it whether you'll forget it easily. For me it wouldn't be the particular amount requested, it's the principle.

Regarding your mutual friend, you could be honest and say that the homeowner's expectations changed after your initial agreement. The requirements were more restrictive than initially described and the cleaner hadn't initially been mentioned

I do wonder whether the homeowners are the type to vaguely complain irrespective of what you do "well she clearly wasn't used to looking after animals to our usual standard but I suppose she did her best..."

I hope you are all able to enjoy the break.

I hope you can find it in yourself to stand firm OP.

If it helps, imagine the thousand or so MNers who voted YANBU standing behind you cheering!

I had to read your post twice to make sure I’d understood it correctly! They are CFs of the highest order. Even if it does work out as a kind of holiday for you, it was their idea not yours. They have asked you a favour, you said yes because you’re a nice person and now they are taking the piss. I’d tell them that wasn’t part of the arrangement and that you will leave the place clean yourself. If only a professional cleaner is good enough for them, that’s their choice, and it sounds like they sprung this on you once you were already there? If they have such a lovely house and can afford to go away for such a long holiday then they can afford to pay their cleaner. Also, £100 a WEEK? Cleaners cost about £20 an hour in London, probably less elsewhere. Do they live in a 50 room mansion? The more I think about it, the more annoyed I am getting with them!