Partners work stress

[Skyehigh]

Partner works from home full time. He is constantly stressed and or angry about work. He will shout and swear at his laptop and storm around the house. After work he will either not speak to me at all, or moan about the colleagues or other issues that have been bothering him for on average an hour a day. I am trying to be supportive and I know the anger is not directed at me however it makes the environment extremely tense. I feel someone talking in an angry voice and storming around still makes me feelvery anxious and on edge like I've done something wrong. I have spoke to him about this but he said he just needs my support and it's not about me. How can I get him to change the way he handles this? AIBU?

Tell him that sitting there feeling anxious while he behaves aggressively is not an act of support. It isn't helpful to either of you, nor is it productive in improving anything. Tell him that if he needs to off load some stress excercise would do him far more good, and if he wants to talk about it, then quietly and calmly with you is the way to do that. Above all tell him that he cannot do whatever he pleases just because his work is stressful and that its not fair to behave this way and make your home stressful.

Time to find a new job.

No job is worth getting like that for, you spend a long time working.

That's something I've never understood.

Sounds like he quite likes having an audience - bit of a dick swinging exercise? "I know she can hear me shouting and asserting my dominance over lesser individuals at work, my job is so big and important and powerful and I am the only one who is any good at it in the whole organisation" yada yada yada.

Performative and unnecessary. I don't like the banging objects either. I can't ever imagine being so angry at a work related issue that I hit a desk. Even on my worst days. Does he hit stuff in other situations? like if you two had an argument?