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Worried my EX-H is cheating our children

9 replies

librarian55 · 23/08/2024 13:20

Looking for advice, I'll try to keep this short. My EX-MIL & EX-FIL both died last year, survived by 4 DSs. I have 2 DDs with EX. He has told them that there is £85,000 in his parents' bank which is to be shared among all the grandchildren, seven of them so works out at just over £12,000 each. But EX-H is saying that they will have to pay lawyers' fees and inheritance tax from that £85,000 and told them they will get £5,000 each. Now, the estate is nowhere near the amount that would qualify for inheritance tax, they had a very run down house in a very rough area, probably only worth about £100,000. I don't know how much lawyer's fees would be but I'm guessing a few thousand at most. EX-H has a history of lying and gaslighting, especially when it comes to money, did it to me all our married life and I am worried that he is now doing it to our DDs. He is a gambler and perpetually in debt so I think he is keeping some of their inheritance for himself. DDs think the same but don't want to say anything in case he decides they get nothing, he is the spiteful type. Is there any way to find out what was actually in the will and who the executor is? I'm sure they did leave one because I remember them talking about it years ago in relation to who would get what share of the house.

OP posts:
Hayley1256 · 23/08/2024 13:21

Find out which solicitor is dealing with it and contact them directly (or get one of kids to if they are old enough)

Icequeen01 · 23/08/2024 13:27

If the estate has gone through probate you can get a copy from here. It just costs a few pounds and your ex will not be able to see that you have got a copy.

probatesearch.service.gov.uk/

GlennCloseButNoCigar · 23/08/2024 13:29

Does your ex-husband have siblings you can corroborate things with?

notatinydancer · 23/08/2024 14:11

You need a copy of the will. The executor is legally bound to distribute it as written.
Can one of his brothers help ?

Izzymoon · 23/08/2024 14:14

Has it been legally left to the kids though or has it been left to your ex who is then giving it to the kids?

Quitelikeit · 23/08/2024 14:16

You can get a copy of the Will online. It costs a few pound. Do it without delay! Otherwise he might spend the money

Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun · 23/08/2024 14:17

Sounds like he thinks he has a tool to make the dc like him /want to see him.. That's nice dear is all that's needed here...

librarian55 · 23/08/2024 18:38

Izzymoon · 23/08/2024 14:14

Has it been legally left to the kids though or has it been left to your ex who is then giving it to the kids?

This is why I want to see the will, I don't know. Obviously, if it has been left to him, then he can do what he likes with it.

OP posts:
librarian55 · 23/08/2024 18:41

Icequeen01 · 23/08/2024 13:27

If the estate has gone through probate you can get a copy from here. It just costs a few pounds and your ex will not be able to see that you have got a copy.

probatesearch.service.gov.uk/

This is only England and Wales, we're in Scotland.

OP posts:
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