Does it sounds like I have ADHD?

[ricenoodle]

This has been playing on my mind for a while as I often see things online (social media or MN) about ADHD and really relate to them. If it's relevant, my brother has diagnosed ADHD (he was diagnosed as a child and is on medication for it).

Things that make me think I may have ADHD:

• I become seriously obsessed with things – like crazily obsessed – and then lose interest. I have cupboards full of things I've taken up at one point or another: pottery, beading, gel nails, etching, crochet, knitting, sewing, language books etc... When I take something up, I go all in – I buy everything I need (spending money I can't really afford to spend on tools, books, apps, classes, materials etc), prioritise doing the new hobby over other things like work, house chores, meeting up with friends, or even having lunch / showering; and spend hours at a time completely focused on doing that thing. Then I just suddenly lose interest and move onto the next thing. I'm really aware that this is something I do but it doesn't stop me from doing it. Friends often joke about what my latest obsession / hobby will be – although I don't think anyone realises the extent that I get obsessed. I don't know if it's relevant but I often pick these things up and become good at them quite quickly, and then just as quickly lose interest.
• Similarly, I find it really difficult to switch off and go to sleep even if I'm tired or have an important day the next day. I'll find myself reading or looking up something online in bed at 10pm and then before I know it it's 1am.
• I find it very difficult to focus on something like watching TV or a film without doing something with my hands. I took up knitting a few years ago (one of the few things I've stuck with!) and I always have 5 or 6 projects on the go. I find it really helpful to knit when I'm trying to focus on something else.
• I can be quite forgetful unless I force myself to be organised. E.g. I have a list of household chores that I have written down for each day of the week and I have to tick them off. If I don't do this, then they just pile up as I forget to do them or don't realise how long it's been since I've done them.
• I know I have a problem with impulsive shopping. It makes it really difficult to manage my finances.

Of course, these could all just be things that are totally unrelated to ADHD – but I do increasingly feel like I relate to the symptoms people describe (but then that could just be because more people are posting about it and so I'm more exposed to reading about it). I don't actually know what would change if I did know I had ADHD or what (if any) kind of treatment I would need/want? I guess I would hope to be able to be a bit more on top of general day-to-day things in life, or even just learn a bit more about it.

My AIBU – to think this is something I should maybe explore further, or is it just using something that is increasingly talked about online to try to explain neurotypical behaviours?

Any thoughts would be appreciated, either way!

@CurlyhairedAssassin
I grew up preinternet (no TV too) and still had ADHD.
It’s not modern life causing it.

Less developed countries tend to be behind on a lot of medical fact.

The village I grew up in hadn’t even heard of asthma, didn’t change the fact I had asthma just because they called it “the wheeze” and the old ladies who sat on same bench in sunshine by the church said every year I’d likely die of the wheeze that coming winter.

@KlongDuplo I think that's exactly what I'm looking for – a way to understand my challenges and work out how to manage them without having to write a list detailing when I shower and constantly be setting alarms for myself to manage my time (another thing I've started doing so I don't end up taking a lunch break and then finding myself at the end of the day wondering how I've lost 5 hours and not accomplished anything).

You mention your friend takes medication when she knows she needs to – do you know what kind of medication it is and if it's something I might be able to access through the NHS? My work is very deadline based and I'm finding it increasingly difficult.

I'm also wondering if things have been more difficult lately as I have been dealing with some personal issues. I've always 'masked' (and looking back have been quite aware that this is something I've done since childhood but haven't had a name for it before) but think that maybe the additional stress I've been dealing with in recent years has made this more difficult / exhausting and so symptoms are becoming more pronounced?

@CurlyhairedAssassin Decades ago, lots of women with ADHD were dismissed as “ditzy,” “scatterbrained,” or just plain irresponsible. Even the ones who held it together pretty well had problems they didn’t understand. My mother - born 1950 - taught for twelve years before becoming a SAHM and being in charge of some school committees, but her house has been a disaster for decades. And because there’s a lot of shame associated with ADHD symptoms, she’s adamantly opposed to hiring someone to help her declutter. Now my dad has Parkinson’s and she’s rushing around completely stressed out, trying to get rid of jeans she hasn’t worn since 2006 and leftover plastic beads from when she led my Girl Scout troop.

My younger daughter, age six, has been known to take literally minutes to put on a sock - with me sitting there and telling her every few seconds to put it on.

”Okay, time for socks.”

”I thought I outgrew these socks.”

”Nope. Those were the other blue striped ones.”

”Did you see my Lego castle?”

”I’ll see it in a minute. Put your socks on.”

”Dobby has been given a sock!”

”Yep. Put it on, Dobby.”

”Remember that picture of me as a baby where I have my toes in my mouth?”

”Sweetie, you have to keep getting dressed. Time is not waiting for you.”

”I know! I know that!”

”Okay, put your socks on.”

”Everyone acts like I don’t know things!”

Pre-diagnosis, she’d frequently break down and start sobbing that she was “a dumb kid” (which no one has ever said to her). And she still wouldn’t have her socks on. Now we’ve accepted that it has to be interesting for her to get it done in time, so we do something like pretend she’s Hermione and she has to get dressed faster than Malfoy to win points for Gryffindor.

Before she was diagnosed, my husband didn’t really “get” that we couldn’t just command her to do it and she’d immediately do it. She could tell that Daddy was disappointed and she’d cry. She’d cling on to me and wail, “I can’t stop getting distracted!”

What did people with ADHD do before people knew about ADHD? They had a lot of hidden struggles and thought those problems were failures of morals or intelligence.

I’m not saying it didn’t exist pre-internet. Just that modern society has affected our brains and behaviour enough to make too many people self-diagnose now due to entirely understandable poor habits.

I’m a TERRIBLE procrastinator. I can be impulsive, very easily distracted and can then feel very guilty for procrastinating and jumping from one thing to the other due to overwhelm, and then deciding just to do nothing at all. I do those online tests for ADHD and get told it would be worth speaking to someone to see if I have ADHD. I don’t have it, I’m almost sure of it. I’ve worked with many pupils (and a couple of colleagues) who have been diagnosed, or who I am convinced have it and are undiagnosed, and know the difference.

I have poor habits. I know I do things which aren’t good for me, like have a poor sleep routine, doom scroll etc. I just think that for some individuals, a version of “ADHD” can manifest if they refuse to face up to the need to change mentally unhealthy habits.

it’s just a gut feeling I have so might be a load of rubbish.

"I think that's exactly what I'm looking for – a way to understand my challenges and work out how to manage them without having to write a list detailing when I shower and constantly be setting alarms for myself to manage my time (another thing I've started doing so I don't end up taking a lunch break and then finding myself at the end of the day wondering how I've lost 5 hours and not accomplished anything)."

But from what I understand, people with ADHD DO use lists and timers. It's not like you'll get a diagnosis and magically not have to use these strategies.

Personally, I'm just 'me', and I manage it how I always have. I accept that I need lists. I accept I waste time and procrastinate. I know that if I start a hobby, my life will be put on hold for a couple of weeks, then it'll go back to normal. Ditto to all the other traits; I just accept them as part of me.
The one thing that I really still struggle with is keeping house (despite my carefully planned and colour coded housework calendar). So to manage that, I just don't have guests to my house.

I mean unless you're thinking you need medication? Then yes, have an assessment.
As far as strategies go, I just google, there's lots of advice and tips out there.

This post gave me a really uncanny feeling. I checked the username and date because I was worried that I had written it, and forgotten doing so months later... I have ADHD and as I say - could have written this.

The things you mention might be things some people with ADHD do or experience. But also lots of people without ADHD.

The diagnostic criteria for ADHD are in the DSM-V. Better to look at that, rather than trawl relatable and what can feel like really affirmative social media content that's ultimately meaningless.

I'm late diagnosed combined-type moderate-severe ADHD (with autistic traits). GP referred on the basis of MH history (stress, severe anxiety & depression, all worsened or unresponsive to treatment) and problems impacting many aspects of my life since early childhood - I was desperate and not merely curious. Diagnosis has been an absolute liberation, and medication is incredibly helpful.

I think I may have ADHD as well, I'm already diagnosed with Autism but I have the things like being mega untidy to the point of hoarding, I lose things, forget appointments, my sleep pattern is awful, I never go to sleep before 4.00am. I have obsessions, if I see something on the news, I go down rabbit holes finding out everything I can, I can't focus unless it is something I'm interested in. I really need to think about getting a diagnosis.

I'm adhd and autistic. I recognise a lot in what you said. Wether you have enough traits to meet a diagnosis would be for the dr to decide. I think your use of lists down to chores each day you tick off shows you have built yourself coping mechanisms so that you do function. So you possibly look less adhd than you are. I got my degree before I was diagnosed. I can function because I have to. Without the rigid organising yourself you can't function and everything piles up.

I think the actual official diagnosis isn't necessary if you manage. But I think you need to know personally for yourself if you are or you are not. I suspected myself for a few years as my son was getting his diagnosis. That not knowing is not nice. I knew I was ND for sure probably a couple years before I got the official diagnosis and I'd say it's the point you accept you are different. That pandering to some of your quirks you usually work so hard on suppressing will give you all that energy for life. I think conversations like this are going to be the most helpful for you to make your mind up if you are ADHD. Personally I'd guess you are, even your op was written in an adhd way in my unqualified opinion