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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I might have been burgled?

235 replies

Kittensat36 · 23/08/2024 05:23

Having a bizarre and upsetting 48 hours. Just need to vent really.

Got up yesterday morning and was preparing to leave for work when I realised that my handbag was not in the hall. It normally sits on an ottoman I have, which is about 10 feet in. I know it was there because I remember taking my phone out of it the other night to send a text

Had to have an emergency day off , expecting to find it any minute - my flat is very untidy, but I expected to find it at some point. I even checked the washing machine in case I had taken it into the bathroom and scooped it up with the washing I was about to do.

But how on earth did it happen if I was burgled? The front door was shut, the back door was locked and the only open window opens onto a secure garden (and you would have cross my bed to get in).

I have to say that my bag is not the only thing that has disappeared over the last couple of weeks. My pill container for my meds disappeared from my living room, I thought that the cats might have bapped it somewhere, but they aren't talking. A batch of paperwork is also on the missing list- a receipt for a large purchase I made recently and a prescription for flea meds. All highly useful (not), but a bit odd as laptops were in the same room and were left untouched.

A ring doorbell/cameras would have been useful and I will have to get some. But I have nothing now. I suppose that if they put something through the letter box, they might have been able to get the door open, but isn't that a bit risky in the middle of the night? Wouldn't it have been easier to get in while I am at work?

Thank goodness for my marvellous upstairs neighbour lending me some cash, or I would be really stuck.

Got to go to work to sort out getting a new workphone and getting my locker broken into to retrieve my work kit. Then sorting a new barrel for my front door lock...

Thanks for reading my rant.

OP posts:
PolePrince55 · 23/08/2024 13:04

Reading your post it sounds to me like it's there. You just need to tidy up.

Didimum · 23/08/2024 13:10

How disconcerting, OP. When you recall getting your phone out of the bag to send a text, are you 100% it was the night you think it was? That's the only mis-memory I can think to be plausible.

I would not think it common that burglars 'dip' into houses to take small items, but this thread says different! I do know it's common to look for car keys however ...

Who has a key to your home other than you? Have you lent your key or left it anywhere where it may have been copied? Do you own or have a landlord?

My friend was once burgled and they got in by removing window slats from a sun room at the back of the house (and replacing them on their exit so it was not obvious at first how they entered). They did not take anything, only lightly rummaged – they assumed looking for car keys. This happened when I had stayed the night and let myself out in the morning to go and catch the train home – my friend had already left for work. The neighbours camera footage, showed them at the back window just at the time I was closing the front door – it shook me up!

gamerchick · 23/08/2024 13:16

flutterby1 · 23/08/2024 06:52

My mum had someone walk in and just take her handbag from the hall once. The front door wasn't locked though.

This happens far more often then you think. They also take car keys and come back later for the car. Always keep your door locked, even if you're home. It's the easiest type of burglary and just trying door handles. The amount of people who don't lock their cars is mine boggling.

OP, maybe it's time for a tidy up of your flat just as a starting point. You usually find stuff you're looking for as you tidy.

Hazydetailonlife · 23/08/2024 13:18

My friend was burgled, never knew until they found their wallet missing from the place it had been put the night before. The police said that professional thieves will take what is valuable - cards, passports. They are edit NOT going to ransack the joint, just pick the good bits. When he went into the office to check, yep, passports gone too.

OP you could well have been burgled. They don't need a key. Ever called a locksmith? They use flexi cards to get in... lock and chain your doors at night. We have an alarm for our downstairs. I know several people that have had a break in at night whilst home.

To the person hiding their handbag, I'd rather they took stuff than came looking for it, but confrontation is usually the last thing they want.

DancingNotDrowning · 23/08/2024 13:22

bergamotorange · 23/08/2024 06:42

People who call everyone else 'over anxious' could do to focus on whether their approach to life and it's problems is perfect.

Is putting the handbag somewhere really any more 'over anxious' than buying a ring doorbell, for example?

Is that really a question? Of course hiding your handbag under clothes in your wardrobe I over anxious and certainly more so than a ring doorbell!

Didimum · 23/08/2024 13:38

DancingNotDrowning · 23/08/2024 13:22

Is that really a question? Of course hiding your handbag under clothes in your wardrobe I over anxious and certainly more so than a ring doorbell!

If an item of value can be seen through a window or letterbox then it's alluring to any chancer out to rob houses. It's similar to most people not leaving their handbag or laptop out on the passenger seat when they leave their car. Your home feels more secure and less likely to be robbed – but it isn't.

I don't store my handbag in my wardrobe – it's in the hallway in full view of the glazed front door or through the letterbox. Is this a dumb risk? Yes. It's probably much more easily nabbed there than in my car. But I wouldn't ever leave it in plain view in my car, nor do I feel anxious when I go about the automatic process of putting iPads or phones or laptops or bags in the glove box or boot.

If someone storing away their valuable items doesn't make them feel anxious, then it's not overanxious – it's just what they do because it makes sense for them to.

Sti · 24/08/2024 18:09

What does AIBU mean

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 24/08/2024 18:21

Sti · 24/08/2024 18:09

What does AIBU mean

It means Am I Being Unreasonable.

Pliudev · 24/08/2024 18:33

flutterby1 · 23/08/2024 06:52

My mum had someone walk in and just take her handbag from the hall once. The front door wasn't locked though.

Yes, this happened to me. We were all at home and someone just walked in and took my bag from the hall. We live in a village and it turned up in someone's bin the next day with just the cash taken. If the OP's bag could be seen from the letterbox it's quite likely to have been stolen.

Autumnismyfavouritetimeofyear · 24/08/2024 18:57

I think whenever you move in somewhere the first thing to do is change the locks - too many keys floating around in the world, I probably have half a dozen to different houses I have been given over the years (although my memory is so bad, there is no way I could take advantage of them to burgle anyone, even if I was so inclined).

Ivehearditbothways · 24/08/2024 19:06

flutterby1 · 23/08/2024 10:24

@Turtonator
Also, I often worry about taking shopping out of my boot snd into the house... it does happen. I worry that someone will pinch something from the boot whilst I'm in the kitchen or something from the hall whilst my door is open!

There was a thread on here years ago with the title something like, “Someone just stole my bloody cava.” And that’s what happened! The OP had been bringing her shopping in and someone had taken her bottle of cava out the boot while she was inside!

Gettingnowhereagain · 24/08/2024 19:15

nonevernotever · 23/08/2024 06:29

You say the front door was shut and the back door locked? Was the front door locked, or just shut? Dipping is really common, where thieves go along a street usually at night, trying every door handle and grabbing whatever they can find quickly while the household is asleep. Typically it's things like car keys, bags phones etc that go but it can be really odd things too (5 old coats and an umbrella?)

That happened to my daughter she accidentally left the door unlocked and they took her handbag and phone.

Delphiniumandlupins · 24/08/2024 19:26

If you can try to retrace your movements from the last time you know you had your handbag. Did you bring it into the flat when you came home from work? Had you been shopping? Look in daft places - freezer, cupboard you store spare toilet roll, breadbin, washing machine. Check your bank statements for unknown transactions - I'm not a master criminal but imagine I would do some 'contactless' shopping asap if I acquired someone else's bank cards. If there's been no activity I would suspect misplaced rather than stolen.

CalicoPusscat · 24/08/2024 19:32

Any joy, @Kittensat36?

TyrannasaurusJex · 24/08/2024 19:39

Betyouthinkthissongisaboutyou · 23/08/2024 06:27

Always take your handbag to bedroom. I put mine in my wardrobe and hide it under some stuff!

oh I think totally the opposite of this. i leave mine right by the front door. if someone breaks into my house I'd much rather they just grab that and leave than come any further into my home! everything in that handbag can be replaced. mine and my family's safety can't.

Sharptonguedwoman · 24/08/2024 20:09

Kittensat36 · 23/08/2024 10:36

Thanks all. After a bit more sleep and sensible comments, it does seem less likely that someone has been in, but not entirely impossible. The why was a puzzle

Had it just been the tablets and paperwork, I would have just chalked it up to me being untidy and it will come out in the wash. But a 10x8 handbag?

Unfortunately, the workphone was flat, so it didn't ring. The cards have been cancelled and my flat is rather tidier than yesterday morning. Will continue the good work over the weekend.

For the lady who mentioned Carbon Monoxide, my detector was bought last year an is in good order.

Thanks all

Please OP, change your locks and put window locks on.

QuestionableMouse · 24/08/2024 20:13

Betyouthinkthissongisaboutyou · 23/08/2024 06:27

Always take your handbag to bedroom. I put mine in my wardrobe and hide it under some stuff!

Fuck no.

If someone breaks in, I want them to take the stuff and go, not wander into the room where I'm sleeping! There's nothing in a handbag that can't be replaced.

@Kittensat36 do you have a carbon monoxide detector? There's a thread on Reddit where the op is losing stuff and finding notes - they had a carbon monoxide leak and were lucky to survive!

TransformerZ · 24/08/2024 21:11

Your cats are moving things / playing with them.

TransformerZ · 24/08/2024 21:11

Tidy your house.

Kittensat36 · 24/08/2024 22:41

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

Hi fellow Vipers

I WAS BURGLED.

A couple just came to my door with my handbag, with everything still in it. I knew the woman because i have chatted with her over my cats.

Her mother in law found my bag and the contents all over the pavement. She tried the one number in the bag, but that didn't work. For goodness sake, she even charged the phone for me.

Only when her DIL popped round and saw my work pass, she knew where it belonged. They just brought it back.

So while I am untidy, I wasn't going mad, like I feared.

Still no idea how they got in though. I am deffo changing that lock first thing tomorrow.

OP posts:
m00ngirl · 24/08/2024 22:45

Omg OP that's terrible but so lucky you have your bag back, but do you have somewhere safe to stay until locks changed/house security beefed up..?

Betyouthinkthissongisaboutyou · 24/08/2024 22:47

Did they steal money? Bank cards?

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 24/08/2024 22:52

These are odd things for someone to steal. And they appear to be escalating. Going from a receipt to a handbag.

have you ordered the cameras? And bought the barrel lock?

Notquitegrownup2 · 24/08/2024 22:52

Great news! They must have been disturbed and dropped it!
Is your lock a yale-type? We were burgled a while back. They used a credit card to slide down the door and ping the Yale lock open. Insurance company said it's very common, and we had to intall a second chub style lock.
HTH

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 24/08/2024 22:52

In the meantime, push the ottoman across the front door if you think that is how someone got in.
and put something on it that would be noisy if it fell over if the door was being opened.