Aibu for thinking baby pens are necessary?

[BySereneMintSwan]

I have a baby who is very much on the move.

I'm looking at baby proofing the house and downstairs is open plan, but a step down to the kitchen and an unused wood burner fire (slate base).

I feel that play pens are quite restrictive but I don't think it's possible to baby proof the ground floor -socks, tables, chairs, radiator, toy storage etc. although downstairs is somewhat spacious for a terrace house it's also quite small.

Baby never took to the bouncer and he's 10 months.

Thoughts?

Sorry didn't know where else to post

Ps I put the Christmas tree in it one year to stop the crawling baby getting to the tree 🎄

No pillows and no duvet while he's by himself right?

It's the step down that would really concern me in your situation, and I can't immediately think of how to get round that, other than not use that room.

Mine quickly learn how to negotiate a step, sliding down backwards.

I got a big playpen from Amazon which takes up most of my small living room. Our sofas are in it so my husband, our guests and I end up being in the play pen too 🤣 The TV, electrical sockets, photo frames etc. are out of reach. Until my son learnt to climb onto the sofas, it was great! It is still handy now but I have to keep more of an eye on him.

I think those baby jails are so sad and unnecessary.

Put a guard round the fire as that sounds dangerous. Make sure the lower cupboard either have child locks or only have safe items like Tupperware in them.

I had an open plan downstairs and never needed a fence around my babies. They'd be able to climb almost as soon as they were mobile anyway and that can be even more dangerous.

My friend has her daughter in one, she's 14months and still not walking, I suspect being so restricted all the time might have something to do with it.

Ask yourself who's benefit is the pen for?

mine always wanted to be near me. We had all open plan and no steps so they whizzed around in baby walkers which are cunningly designed so that everything is out of reach. I see you have a step down to kitchen (?) but if it is a doorway you could stair gate that and then use a walker by lifting it into whichever room you are in and putting them in? Means they could be in the kitchen when you cook but not able to get up to mischief.

i did have a fire guard as well though.

It depends on how easy to baby proof your house is. Our house (small Victorian terrace) isn't, so in the crawling to newly walking stage the playpen was vital if I just wanted to pop upstairs or go to the loo when looking after my DS alone.

It also depends on the type of child you have. My DS was (and still is) a climber and would just always get himself into the most dangerous situations within about 30 seconds of not being watched. This started to be less of an issue around 2 and even more now he is heading towards 3 and acquiring a bit more common sense, but I feel the playpen prevented many injuries between 8-18 months. (It was no use after 18 months, as he could climb out).

We had one and it was useful for when we moved house and had to do decorating and had boxes everywhere but never used it after that.

I used to sit them in the highchair with toys, puzzles, books etc if I needed them contained whilst I was cooking

I used a travel cot style playpen. It was useful and my DC liked going in it because there were particular toys we kept in there. I used to pop them in there while I was cooking. I found it a lot better than having them immobilised in a bouncer or high chair: they could still move, but safely.

We had one of those big plastic ones with the foam floor, it was really good but our little one was only really happy when we were in there with her, so it was a good space to chill and play without worrying she could wander off, especially if you have visitors, we could be in there with visitors on the sofa, but ultimately she didn't really like being left anywhere and preferred to be with us, so we only used it for around 6 months if that, as soon as she was walking it was game over and we bought a baby climbing frame instead.

We found it much easier to baby proof the room/s.

Do you mean the five children killed by Malm draws?

I put the Xmas tree in ours :D totally thought I was coming to a weird thread about baby stationery

I love them - never understood why everyone doesn’t use one. DT’s used it from the start - they even napped in there. It meant they were safe if I went into another room, upstairs, the dog and cat were safe from baby hands.

I didn't use a playpen but securing furniture is completely different, children have been killed by furniture tip accidents and they have caused many many traumatic brain injuries in children.

Yes I use child safe blind cords too.

If you get one that also opens out, like the one you shared link to, then can either be a pen for short periods or, in time, an extended baby gate type thing to section of a bit of your open plan space which you can keep safe. Or Pen off the bits you can't make safe eg use it as a large fireguard for wood burner.

As pp said you don't leave a baby in a pen for the whole day, it's for the odd time when you need to nip away and can't watch them closely. Maybe to go to toilet, maybe part of cooking (eg chopping or putting somethinf on to boil)

And in terms of baby proofing, start with the obvious dangers like moving sharp or heavy or breakable things our of reach. Putt the dangerous things like cleaning stuff in a higher cupboard and keep the lower ones for (eg) tupperware that doesn't matter if baby manages to get it. Or, child locks on lower cupboards of you can't move stuff around.

Normal radiators aren't a danger ime, they aren't usually hot enough to burn. Plus, you teach the child about stuff that's hot or dangerous activities they shouldn't do. Yes it takes an age and yes you still need to watch them.

I have also found you rarely manage to baby proof successfully at first try, it's a process. Either they suddenly learn a new skill that makes previously safe things unsafe (eg learn to walk and can reach a new shelf) or they find a danger you hadn't seen, which you remove them from and find a way to make it safe or remove it.

You can't pen a baby up for ages, they'd not like it and not accept it, so you just spend the next couple of years watching them closely and adapting things to keep them safe.

I found mine would really concentrate on playing with toys when they were in their jail playpen. Being incarcerated for short periods really helped their concentration and attention span.

I had one. It was great. I only used it for when I couldn't watch my child all the time so he'd only go in for 10 mins or so and I rotated toys in there. I.e, going to the loo, making a phone call, answering the door.

I appreciate all the posts about baby proofing/just watch them etc but I spent a lot of time on my own, 5 days a week for 10 hours a day with mine so I very much appreciated 10 mins of time here and there where I didn't have to worry about watching him constantly. Even in a baby proofed house.

Plus, he liked it!

Eg for us we had one for dc1 which started as a pen, then a room divider between safe space and kitchen in open plan area. By time dc2 came along we didn't really use it that much as I felt confident even the kitchen was pretty safe. We also didn't have stair gates as just not feasible in our home at that time, so dc1 and 2 learnt to safely manage stairs early.
Dc3 in a new home we had a stair gate as different layout made it safer to have one. Also had a travel cot in the kitchen to keep them for short moments, logistically made sense for various reasons.

Basically it's different for each family, each child. Things change as they grow so don't overthink things too much just keep a watching brief, as it were, and adapt as you go

I’ve never had one, I think they would be fine to use if you are nipping to the toilet or cooking etc and can’t fully supervise them but I would try to baby proof the house as much as possible, once they are crawling/ walking it would be a bit unfair to keep them in one for a longer period of time.

I remember my DS2 being about 6 months old and he was in his playpen in the hallway while I tidied up the kitchen. DS2 had started commando crawling at 4 months which was a nightmare.

Anyway I remember feeling a bit mean that I'd plonked him down while I got a tiny break, rather than having him in the sling or on my hip as I did the housework. Just as I had that thought, an old glass ice cream bowl fell out of our cabinet and shattered all over the kitchen. I must have put it back unsteadily in my sleep deprived state. If DS2 had been in the room he could have got a splinter or worse.

So yes, I'm team playpen. Mine have been very happy in there as babies for a few minutes, with some safe toys to look at (wobbly rings, squeaky eggs, black and white books).

A bit later when DS2 was walking, we would put DS1 in the playpen. He was 3/4 at the time and was happy to have a safe place to do building and playdough without his baby brother knocking everything over.

I think it depends on what kind of baby you have, the set up of your house and how much you have to do around then. My first crawled at 5 months. He was constantly trying to climb. You just couldn’t baby proof around it - he’d be trying to climb on chairs, tables, up bookshelves, curtains etc and then jump off. He never stayed in a pen for long but it served a purpose for finishing off meals etc. during that stage. I had quite a lot of pens set up for my second too mostly to separate him from very jealous, boisterous oldest if I had to turn my back for a moment.

I don't get this hatred of playpens. Surely it's better than keeping the baby in a high chair or bouncy chair? S/he can move about and if the playpen is solid enough, can pull him/herslf up and cruise around inside it.

I'd have thought a travel cot was more jail-like - smaller, so less room to move about.

My siblings and I had one of those big wooden ones and used it in all sorts of ways as we got older - with a blanket over it, it became a cave or a den, for example.