To want to quit my job?

[WhatsReasonalbe]

I am burnt out and know it and my mental health is not good.

its been creeping up on me for a long time and I have progressively got worse and now it is making me quite unwell. I am in that spiral where I can’t cope well and then getting more stressed as I know I am not coping.

I can’t see a way out so feel I am at the point of having time off sick and working out what else I can do. I can’t think rationally right now.

Has anyone else been here ? How did your life change after burnout? Did you regret leaving a high stress job ?

I feel trapped in my job but can’t carry on either.

Sounds like you really need a break – either sick leave or leaving altogether. A period of sick leave would at least give you time to decompress a bit and consider your options. Some people feel more stressed when they r on sick leave but you have to recognise that by the sounds of it, you are a breaking point.

I have been in this position and really really recommend taking a break.

I could have written this post, this is exactly where I am at. I'm ready to just resign but know that's stupid with nothing else to go to, but I'm not in a fit state to get another job at the moment. Sickness is looked at very dimly and I would find it stressful being off sick. Even 1 day gets questioned and you get made to feel bad.

If you can, I would get yourself signed off op.

@PleaseBePacific its a shit situation to be in.

I had a meeting today about setting targets for reducing sickness rates knowing I could well be sick by the time the next meeting happens.

My role is not covered if I am not there so it’s stressing me out to think of having a few weeks off and I fear they will manage me out.

Totally shit. I know what you mean about sickness targets. I got such a hard time about my last sick day I ended up making the time up. I think if you get signed off though it's different, especially if it goes over 4 weeks.

My job is partially covered if I'm not there but only through necessity. I'm actually on annual leave this week and have spent the week worrying about going back 😞

I know the only answer is to leave, it's just how to get to that point

How are you @WhatsReasonalbe ?

@WhatsReasonalbe - yip, been there. Being so burnt out contributed to my alcohol abuse disorder - I literally couldn’t switch off/sleep without a glass of wine which escalated to a bottle to vodka - anything to knock me unconscious (there were other issues too but work was making me so desperately unhappy).

I was fortunate that I could quit and get another job easily in my profession although on half the pay - but we could afford it. I’m happy now (and sober) and living such a stress free life.

A job is not worth your mental health. Can you look into other ways of earning that wouldn’t be so detrimental to your wellbeing? Not necessarily in your profession. Is there any way you could get a pay off to leave? A lot of places will give you 3 months pay to go quietly so to speak - that’s what I negotiated. Told my boss it was either that or I would be off sick for the foreseeable future - but obviously depends on your organisation. I left with basic reference outlining the roles I had and how long I was there etc.

good luck 🌺

Thanks for the replies. I am away and have the day off so a 4 day weekend and my mood is remarkably better as I have not been at work. I did have stressy work dreams last night though.

I am just trying to get through week by week and have a bit of leave coming up so have decided to see how it goes after I am back from leave. The main issue is 1 toxic person who is also the boss. There will be a shift around soon but things will largely stay the same so I know I need to be brave and leave but that is too much for me to cope with also.

I didn’t win the lottery this weekend unfortunately so am still holding out for another opportunity to present itself and if not I will have to make a proactive decision.

Glad you've had a nice long weekend!

I didn't win the lottery either unfortunately but I have actually decided to go off sick for a couple of weeks. After sleeping for 2 hours last night thinking about going back today I've decided I can't carry on like this. Just done an ask my GP requesting a consultation. Messaged my boss and switched my work phone off so I can't read the nasty replies. I'm going to be job hunting while working on improving my physical and mental health while off, and not being driven to drink by a shitty work place.

This was me a year a go. I had to take 4 weeks sick leave. My role was not covered whilst I was off, and it cost the company some loss of money due to services not being met. I was so stressed about taking the time off, but the world didn’t stop turning without me and it was fine overall.

I had to do it though I was on the edge, non stop crying for 2 weeks straight, couldn’t function, was absolutely miserable.

The day I returned to work, I handed my notice in. My manager was not happy but she dealt with it in a civil way, I worked my 12 week notice and then left.

since being in my new role I am a whole different person, so so much happier.

a job shouldnt make you sick.

I was a department manager in the NHS with a good pension forecast, lovely plush house, and a convertible sports car and I was miserable as hell. My boss was a vile bully, I hated managing people - I just wasn't good at it and I was dissolving mentally. I'd Just couldn't function, make a rational decision or think straight even to string a sentence together because I couldn't cope with the stress of everything.

My GP, who I don't think I'd ever seen before, signed me off and explained I needed to get out of my situation and away from it before I could even start to heal. She just said "go and be with people who love you" so for the duration of my sick note I moved back to my hometown and stayed at my parents. I spent time with people who's opinions mattered, and they all said the same thing.....stepping down from a stressful job in a town where I didn't know many people wasn't a sign of failure, but me having the sense to choose mental health over money and status of job title. And they'll all be thrilled to have me home. It was a massive penny dropping to realise I didn't need anyone else's permission to choose that life, it was up to me and me only, and there's was nothing wrong with choosing happiness.

I put my house up for sale and starting applying for jobs back home. I accepted an offer on my very desirable and gorgeous "used to be the village chapel" house in a dinky little English village, and bought a wonky damp terraced house I knew I could afford on minimum wage back up North. I got a basic grade job still in the NHS, Patient facing rather than Management, AND I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER. I will never ever forget the thrill of driving back into my hometown the night before my new job, with my car packed full of stuff, feeling very deliciously naughty that I'd been so audacious as to choose happiness over salary. It was just the wonderful realisation that I'd finally chosen what I wanted over what society thought was important. For so so many years before that I'd desperately missed that life and wished I could have, never realising it was only me who had to give myself permission to claim it back. 10 years later and every now and again I still have a thrill run over me that I made the right choice by choosing happiness. The depression and stress virtually disappeared overnight.

Do it. Money, job title and pension aren't the be all and end all. Happiness rocks!!

@bringthecactusin that has made me cry thank you for posting your story. I am exactly in that dilemma and have not done clinical work for about 10 years but am scared of losing my salary. I love my job just not the toxic environment and the fact that the service can’t function so all efforts feel pointless. Those things will not change any time soon.

I will get through the next few weeks then get signed off sick I I need to and have the space to work out what other job I can do.

What would you rather do? Work in a thankless stressful job for a shitty manager you can't control, or get by on less money and have to be creative in paying bills and spending and shopping?

I'd choose to be frugal but happy any day. Your good salary is nothing more than your security blanket right now, and the other nightmares you're dealing is why you need that added reassurance. Without the stress that comfort blanket isn't as necessary.

I have had periods of times off with stress since, and on one of them I'd done your thing of "I'll just try to get through the next few weeks" and failed miserably. It got so bad once I just had to go home halfway through a shift and I realised how ludicrous I'd been trying to hang on. You wouldn't stay at work with a broken leg so why are you staying at work with such poor mental health? Please be kind to yourself. You don't owe them anything. If they manage you out in your absence then so what? You don't want to be working there anyway do you, so it would't be an issue.

Please let yourself choose you.

I'm NHS too, seeing a theme here 😞