Is there a way round this or am I screwed?

[savjak]

my partner left me with our baby when she was 7 months. Not seen him since (a year on). He’s being chased for cms but I think it’s very likely he’s left the country as he has family in America.

anyway… I am struggling. I can’t cope with work alongside dd and doing everything alone. I know my work is suffering and my manager has said as much. I am in panic mode now.

i have some savings more than 16k and was going to pay off part of my mortgage but now I am worried if I lose my job and if I do this then have to claim UC will I get in trouble? can I even claim UC as a homeowner? I feel sick and stressed please be kind.

You can claim UC as a home owner but they don’t make payments towards mortgages I don’t think, only private rents and council properties, that’s what I have seen anyway. Also, i don’t think you can claim UC if you have savings over a certain amount.

Hope things improve for you soon though. I’m a single parent, it’s hard work sometimes. Gingerbread Single Parent Charity could offer some advice x

This is a benefit you may be able to apply for after if you had end leaving work.

www.gov.uk/support-for-mortgage-interest/what-youll-get

https://www.gov.uk/universal-credit/eligibility

some information on here about amounts of savings

They also pay rent for housing association properties too

They do yes, sorry forgot that one

OP also you could try a benefits calculator such as Turn2Us or Entitled To. It will ask you about savings, income etc etc

Thanks. I don’t know what to do anymore I just want to give up. It’s all too hard

So sorry to hear you are struggling. I'm a single parent too and it can be very difficult. I second contacting Gingerbread. Do you have any supportive family or friends who could help?

This is not an all or nothing situation, it just feels like this because you are cornered. You can get signed off from work to get some breathing space.

You need to pull on your network of family and friends to get this panic out. Losing a Co-parent/relationship is a massive shock, very similar to a bereavement so treat it as such.

You do have options:

• go part time, the loss of money may balance out the stress. Put a proposal together for work, be ruthless in presenting it as beneficial to the business or a temporary measure
• prioritise work, focus on work when you are there, concentrate on deliverables, be visible in your achievements but only work your hours
• find a different job, maybe something more family friendly
• identify the stress points; work, home, nursery pick up, cleaning, mental load, sleep etc
• find out exactly what the situation is with UC, maybe transition to staying home for a bit if you can afford it/know you can return to work at a later date.

Can’t comment on UC but….

You should also be eligible for free hours for your Dd either now or soon and tax free childcare (which is poorly named)
Basically you pay in £8 government kicks in £2 it’s worth up to £2k pa on top of free hours

you might also find turn2us (they are a charity) useful - give it a google.

💐

Can you get signed off with stress for a couple of weeks just to give you an immediate breather? Speak to Gingerbread as pp have said. Citizens Advice also usually good for financial advice too.
Your LO needs you to be in good health so if a work break for a few years is needed and doable then go for it.
And shame on your ex for abandoning his child.

I'm so sorry, it's awfully tough for a lot of people at the minute. Could you rent out a room in your house to ease the financial load?

As for trying to do it all, all you can do is enough, dust the house one night, hoover another night, load of washing and drying on or on the clothes horse same night if you can, batch cook for 2 nights at a time if that's possible, so every second night you don't have to cook and can just reheat dinners for you both. Weekends do bedding and big clean to see you thru the week.

Order a shop online and get it delivered on a Saturday or of an evening. Explain to manager you are really struggling on your own and your mental health is starting to suffer, if you need to see doctor, then go do that. Maybe get signed off work for 2 weeks or so to give yourself time to breathe and catch up on a few jobs. Also is your job one you could catch up on at weekends? From home? When little one is asleep? Just so you aren't feeling overwhelmed all the time. PS your ex is a dick

It sounds tough OP. Re paying off your mortgage with your savings, I'm not sure if this would be classed as hiding assets for the purposes of a UC claim. Perhaps you could increase your monthly mortgage payments from your savings (significantly or not, depending on how much over 16k you are), that would whittle it down quickly as opposed to a big chunk, which might be suspicious.

Yes you can claim UC as a homeowner.

Would a 2 week line from the GP or a 1 week self cert to give you a bit of headrace from work help? Or be possible? Have you filled your boss in on your situatuon to see if there's anything he/she can help with ie condensed hours?

Are nursery fees also crippling you? Again, condensed hours may help with this.

What a dick your ex is.

Things do (I'm hoping) get better. My ex pays maintenance but a minimal amount and it's a struggle. I'm just lucky in that my work is very very flexible.

16k savings stops you claiming anything over 6k effects benefits it would go to a decision maker if you pay off some mortgage to see if your eligible or not

I can’t go to my gp as I already had sickness for 3 months when pregnant unfortunately. So it would look terrible. I just want to hide away. I feel so sick so stressed so worried about everything. Everything is on my shoulders

Condensed hours? Family that could take the wee one one evening a week for a couple of hours?

And if it was sickness when you were pregannt then that would be around 2 years ago no? So if this would be your only other period of sickness then that isn't bad at all

@WorriedMama12 yes coming up to two years ago I just feel stressed if I go off sick I really don’t know what’s best I just can’t see things getting better

How supportive is your employer? Honestly if you feel like you can't take time off sick, please take some annual leave. This is for you to reset, take a breath, then do some planning. Decide what you want to do. Do you have a trusted friend that can work through the options with you? Someone you trust (judgement-wise). Ask for help. Ask for help some more. You do not have to do this on your own. You are not alone. xx

I really would go off sick with stress OP it’s a separate issue to the pregnancy time off.

you don’t have to work until baby is 2 according to the website I looked at. And then you’ll be out in a preparing to work category and then only later will they make you go to interviews.

can you spend your savings on something you need eg a car. Also put some in your pension and mortgage to get you down to the right amount. How about putting some in your baby’s isa

You don’t mention childcare, how are you set up with this? You should get some free hours soon? Can you use the saving for some childcare in the home and/or cleaner? This will help.

Have you got friends with children? Solidarity is very helpful