To ask if anybody has severe OSA

[Coffeequeen3]

My partner has this and it is massively affected our relationship. His results recently came back for severe obstructive sleep apnea. We are currently waiting on a CPAP machine but I am struggling to work out if he is just lazy or will our life completely change once this is under control.

I am not sure where the "lazy" comment comes from. Did you post about this before saying your husband is lazy because he wants to sleep all the time?

Imagine you have a severe respiratory problem where your brain has to be constantly alert in order to keep you alive. For the last however many years you think you are sleeping well but your brain has to wake you up several times every minute just so that you don't conk out in your sleep. You never enter stage 3-4 sleep which your brain needs to reset and process information it is exposed to through the day or recover sufficiently to function. How do you think it would make you feel? Will you be bouncing up and down with endless energy or will your brain be shutting down periodically throughout the day because of the overwhelming amount of cognitive and physical fatigue?
Add to that a partner who calls you lazy for having a life-threatening medical condition... yes, I'd say your relationship is going to suffer. CPAP can take some adjustment. Hopefully, it will improve your husband's quality of life. As to your relationship, I'm afraid this is down to you developing some empathy.

Sorry that sounded really insensitive. I mean, can this change your personality completely because it’s as though he just doesn’t care about anything? I don’t really know what I am getting at but what should we expect when he receives the CPAP?

It can make you very lethargic as you're not getting any decent quality sleep at all. And your breathing is stopping dozens of times an hour.
So I could imagine he's grumpy, can't think straight, lacking motivation.
Once he's on the CPAP it should make a lot of difference to his sleep quality, which should in turn make him more energetic and positive when he's awake.

What to expect? He is going to need your support to persevere with the CPAP. A lot of people give up before they see any benefits. Many people find it uncomfortable, claustrophobic, they get skin irritation, dry throat, wind and bloating… It will take a while to get used to and deal with any side effects, calibration etc.

We know the impact of the lack of restorative sleep on the brain so yes, it will impact his whole personality.
CPAP can work wonders for some people but a lot of people can't tolerate it and it may take a long time to adjust. With any luck his apneas will reduce and he will feel a lot better with time.

Completely with @Catza. I think you need to readjust your think on this.

I have sleep apnea I stopped breathing 23 times p/h
It's very very hard to adjust to wearing a mask,
I can only use a nasal as I have seizures.
Imagine being so tired the day after because you've choked countless times the night before as your airways have struggled to stay open and collapsed, and you've stopped breathing,
You are so exhausted, beyond tired and yeah... It does make you lack motivation because all you crave is a good night's sleep and well.. we don't all have that luxury cos we too busy trying to stay alive 🤣

An ex boyfriend had this and got his cpap machine while we were together. It was a nightmare for me. Even in the next room I could hear the machine bellowing all night. It gave him dreadful wind every morning due to the build up of air overnight. I'd only been with him less than a year and couldn't hack it.

I'm not sure if it helped him overall. He was exceptionally tired all the time. He often fell asleep during the day so he didn't have time to put the machine on.

He had severe weight issues and ate a huge amount. I don't think that helped him much.

It's a hard road really. I hope your relationship improves with the cpap.

I was diagnosed with OSA in 2017.

Because I live on my own no-one had ever noticed my snoring, but when I stayed over at my parents one Xmas my Mum noticed my excessive snoring.

I was always falling asleep in meetings at work and often got pulled up on it.

So given this I went for tests... severe OSA and given a CPAP mask! I was shocked - I knew some friends with this and they were all morbidly obese. I was fairly fit and overweight (49 at the time), I am male (just for info) and back then I was drinking which doesn't help (stopped now). They told me I had a narrow jaw and airway which caused the OSA.

So I started with the CPAP and it was odd at first but it IMMEDIATELY cured the OSA. No more falling asleep at work, feeling fresh in the morning, no tiredness during the day - it was like magic!

So I would say CPAP can indeed change your life - but you have to stick with it, and experiment with different masks. Your attitude to it helps - I was horrified at first, but soon came to refer to it as my 'Sleep Machine' (my latest one is branded DreamStation!). Once it's on, that's it, I'm off to the land of Nod all night (except for the odd nocturnal wee - one of the joys of being a middle aged bloke).

How does he manage to go on nights out etc until 5am? That baffles me

I got diagnosed in June with sleep apnea, I was stopping breathing 77 times an hour in my sleep. It is still taking some getting used to the CPAP machine, it's a full face mask so I do feel uncomfortable and a bit claustrophobic. I'm getting used to it though. It has made a difference to my sleep and my energy levels in the day. Mine makes no noise and my partner has been very supportive.

LAZY? Do you actually think he chooses to stop breathing in his sleep? You are absolutely off your rocker 😱😂🤷🏼‍♀️

I have OSA at 64 episodes an hour. My CPAP has been life changing and I'm more awake due to better sleep, my snoring has been eradicated and I'm harrier than I've ever been.

And I'm certainly not lazy ffs

And yes cpap therapy is hard. I was drastically claustrophobic due to being raped as a teen and I cried for days and couldn't sleep upon diagnosis. But it really had bought me my life back. I used to stop breathing for 6 minutes every hour I slept. Now I am reviving cured and I'm awake at a decent time every morning, I'm well rested, my crazy dreams have stopped. I've tons more energy. BUT it's crushed my vocal register. I sauce like I smoke 40 a day and I'm 80 desire being just 45. My guns have suddenly started receding due to the dry mouth. But my snoring has completely gone.

I love my cpap and honestly I thought I would be the very last person in the group of 40 petite that would stick with the therapy. But I haven't missed a single night. I honestly couldn't live without it.