I've been seeing someone for around a year.
I'm not sure if it's relevant but he thinks he might be autistic and he does seem to have difficulties with social interactions, knowing what's appropriate etc, but I'm reluctant to put all his 'issues' down to his autism, especially as he isn't diagnosed yet.
So anyway there are a few things that bother me and he sort of feels I'm being unreasonable to be bothered;
My boyfriend moved in with an old friend of his, a year ago. This friend has quite an open house policy and his mates tend to pop in and out whenever they want. Most evenings this girl, K, comes over as apparently she doesn't get on with the family members she lives with. Last year, K stayed at the house with my boyfriend was obviously there, but his friend was away on holiday. Apparently, again because she didn't want to stay at home. My boyfriend told me after she had left, that he thought she "fancied" him but couldn't really explain why he thought that. I didn't ask too many questions at the time...
Anyway this girl is now a constant fixture in my boyfriends life. They work together (along with the friend/housemate), go to the cinema at least once a week, share the hot tub in the garden together (all three of them), she leaves her bikini on the radiators at the house and never takes them home with her, she stayed at the house again when the homeowner went away on holiday this year and the other day she apparently asked my boyfriend if there was anything to eat at the house and did he want her to come round and cook something (the homeowner was away again that night). The latest 'issue' was it my boyfriends birthday the other day and he sent me a photo of the birthday cards he'd got.
I asked which one was from K (slightly jealous but hoping she hadn't got him one) and he said "guess :p " then changed the subject. I then jokingly said "haha, changed the subject huh?!" And he replied "yes because I know what you're like... Jealous etc".
He then said he had felt uncomfortable with the message in her card and would send me a photo of it later on when he was back at home.
When he sent the photo, the message just seemed like an entirely normal message from a girl to me; "Dear S, Happy birthday!! Hope you have an amazing day! Love K xx". I told him I didn't think there was anything to make him feel uncomfortable in that message and he then said he'd only felt uncomfortable because he thought I'd take it the wrong way :/
Something about this girl/the way she is always round the house and my boyfriends reaction to her feels off, but I can't put my finger on it.
They go on a lot of meals out as a group and take photos of themselves a lot...in each one she is always either sitting opposite my boyfriend, or next to him. Same with when they go to the cinema. I've pointed this out before and he's always come up with an excuse/reason, either that or just said that he didn't sit with her ALL the time... Sometimes he just brushes me off saying I'm being silly but I don't see why sometimes, he wouldn't make a point of sitting next to someone else instead - especially as he thinks she might fancy him.
He says he's not interested in her; I did ask if he found her attractive once (no idea why!) and he admitted that he thought she was, but said he didn't fancy her, just could see she was pretty.
Am I being silly? Reading it back I realise it sounds a bit juvenile - we are all 41, by the way - but I feel like he encourages my jealousy sometimes with the things he says, and I do think she's around far too often, although he said he can't do anything about that as it isn't his house.
They're off to Newquay at the weekend, apparently she didn't want to go when he first booked and then changed her mind...obviously my jealous brain thinks she only changed her mind when she realised be was going and I wasn't! (I was originally invited but can't afford it and have children, so childcare is awkward)