Helppp

[itsjustmel]

My ex boyfriend & I have recently got back in contact, I left him as I just got sick of his behaviour, but now he’s much more verbally abusive, and has be physically. he never has hit me until recently & now everytime I try and talk he doesn’t like what I say he threatens to beat me up & he also refuses to let me speak he just shouts down the phone, if it’s in person then he’s even worse he will start to attack me, not full on punches or slaps but he physically puts his hands on me. He was seeing a number of girls prior to us rekindling if I brought any questions up all hell will break loose.Obviously I’ve left again but he never used to be like that, what do you thinks happend I’m so confused, I’ve now started no contact please help me get through this

It’s happened because he’s horrible OP.
Well done for leaving. Do not go back under any circumstances.

You need to ask? Really? He’s abusive, have nothing more to do with him.

I mean this kindly but does it matter why it happened? He's an abusive piece of shit. If you have no kids, block him, delete his number, move house if you can, and do not utter another word to him, ever. If you have kids, get some good legal advice now.

I wouldn't even waste your time OP wondering about his behaviour.
The fact he thought it acceptable to behave in that way towards you tells you he is not the type of person worth bothering about.
Well done for leaving him. Accept he is just a horrible person, and move on.

Sorry you’ve been through this but well done for getting out.
I think it’s a classic case of the more he thinks he has you hooked, the more abusive he thinks he can be. You took him back so he thought he could drop any semblance of reasonable behaviour.
Having given you a bad experience the first time round I’m afraid the leopard wasn’t going to change his spots.

Block him.
Stay away.
If he turns up at your house don't talk to him and if he tries to enter or is behaving in an aggressive manner call the police.

You don't need this dangerous piece of shit in your life.

This is who he really is. He was horrible in the first relationship which you left. But because you went back to him you basically told him his nastiness the first time was acceptable to you so he took it further.

Never, ever go back to a bad relationship. As you have found out it only gets worse.

Congratulations on leaving a second time as that must have been very tough to do. Instead of wondering why he became like this, try focusing on why you went back to someone who was horrible anyway.

Nothing has happened - that's who he is. By going back to him, he was given green light to behave as he pleased. He assumed by coming back, you were saying you'd put up with it.Ring your Local Authority and ask to speak to the Domestic Abuse support service. You need support to avoid this in the future. Freedom Programme would be good.

His violent behaviour increased because by going back to him, it made him believe that you found his aggressive behaviour acceptable. He was testing your boundaries to find out how much aggression you would tolerate.
If you had stayed with him, his violence would have increased further.

Well done on leaving him. Never go back to him again.

Abusive behaviour almost always escalates.

What’s more, the fact that you returned to him after he treated you badly in the first place led him to believe he can be abusive to you and you’ll still take him back. He thinks that you’ll just put up with him treating you badly.

You've done the right thing by leaving and blocking him. Do not under any circumstances open that door again now that you’re free. You deserve better.

You need to block this unsavoury fellow, and never contact him again. If he lays hand on you and threatens you, sooner or later he will hit you, and when he’s done it once, he will do it again. Sadly, he won’t change - you need to continue no contact - allowing him access is allowing him to abuse you.

Well done for going no contact. Please stick to it. Do you have someone you can tell what has been happening? Not just to support you and help your resolve but also who knows to check on you.

As others have said he’s done this because he’s an abuser but more specifically, as you took him back, he knew you would tolerate it and could continue to be worse and worse just to see exactly how much you would tolerate.

Don’t underestimate how dangerous men like him can be