Does every parent feel this or am I awful?

[Heaaag]

Honest opinions please.

I am a single parent so that probably is relevant.

I get so frustrated with my toddler. I don’t usually show it but inside I am raging. Yesterday I collected from nursery, got back and sorted dinner, they wouldn’t sit down, then threw food everywhere… spilt milk too, ripped a book that was on the high chair. Screaming seemingly out of the blue because I’ve done something slightly wrong. Then massive resistance to nappies so i genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.

It enrages me. I feel like I hate them in that moment. Is this a normal feeling?!

It is in my house!

Toddlers can be incredibly frustrating but if this is a daily occurrence it very much sounds like you need more support and to get a break yourself so you don’t get overwhelmed.

Do you have friends or family or even a babysitter or something to have your DC for a night to
give you a proper break from the relentlessness of parenting a toddler on your own?

It probably sounds like a domestic disturbance if you stood outside my house at dinner time. 5 year old autistic DC and a young baby. It does pass. Toddlers are hard work.

You are shattered and need a break. They can't help the way they're acting it's normal for their age but one way or another you need to prioritise getting rest and ideally a break away from child if poss xx

The collecting from child care / tea / pre bed time of day can also be so fraught and exhausting in our house. I have to just grit my teeth and get on with the slog of it some days.The difference of course is that I can tell my DH I'm going for 5 minutes peace.
It must be extremely difficult doing this all on your own. Essentially being on the clock 24/7. So finding it tough sounds completely reasonable to me 💐

I still feel like this sometimes and my eldest is 21 - the rage is (I think) because you know you are responsible for dealing with it and it's tedious, boring and relentless and you can't escape. It drives a lot of parents potty. You are not the only one feeling like this and as someone who did the 24/7 lone parenting I completely empathise.

Yes it happens to me, its not something I ever anticipated. Helps me to get a break, luckily husband works from home but I decided to take a career break to avoid crippling london nursery fees and the regret is deep some days 😅 helps mw to think of this as a season that will pass, and I try and enjoy the good bits cos annoyingly we will miss them like mad apparently

I used to put both myself and my toddler in time out when that happened. We would be sitting glumly, side by side, on the stairs. I found it helped though - I got a breather, and she didn't feel victimised.

Totally normal. These things are sent to try us, as my late DM used to say.

You are not awful. You are tired, fed up and stressed out, that's all. It will pass, I promise.

Very normal. One weird thing i found helped was talking in a silly voice. I'd put a silly voice on, not only did it stop me shouting/showing frustration it also helped me feel calmer.

I always used to find that when mine were particularly awful, naughty, not listening, acting up, destructive etc, they would usually develop an illness of some sort about a week later. Then I'd be kicking myself for not joining the dots up earlier and realising they felt unwell or were getting a ear infection/tonsillitis etc.
It's such a difficult age for you atm. You are basically fire fighting. Try lots of praise, that made me feel less negative. Rather than telling them what to do eg, go to bed, say shall we go up to bed like slithery snakes or prancing ponies? Giving mine a choice seemed to stop them refusing everything, especially if I made the choices ridiculous. Nappy change is torture. The wriggling! But i know this feels like your life now but nappies will be gone very soon. Just get through this bit. I had to do lots of blowing raspberries, changing standing up, infront of telly. Put a nappy on your head, pull faces, sing loudly, do stupid stuff. Pick your battles. Its hard when you have to do all the discipline alone but take joy from the fact nobody is undermining you. Be kind to yourself, its the hardest job and you're worrying so you care. We all just struggle through, anyone gloating about how fabulous their child behaves is lying.

I've never felt like this, do you think you could benefit from seeing the gp or accessing some support?

Toddlers are dickheads op. Solidarity.

I would take it as a sign that you desperately need a break. If you have anyone who could possibly take your toddler, a night to yourself, or even a few hours in the daytime, might make a world if difference. Toddlers pick up on your mood unfortunately so if you are angry and reactive, they will tend to be too.

@bluedomino yes you are so right about the illness thing.

I have for sure felt this emotion. If I'm really honest mostly at DS1, he was just a bloody difficult toddler. I felt guilty for how I felt too. He made everything so difficult, ruined what could be pleasant moments and was as awkward as possible for no reason. That's just the way he was. As @bluedomino suggests the child might be coming down with something. My lowest days were always just before a virus of some sort. This too shall pass OP.

Totally normal.

But if you do start to feel it is happening a lot you could see your GP.

I had the odd spell of this with ds, but with dd I had unresolved ppd and it definitely was more noticeable, worrying and got worse with tiredness/stress. I never showed it but was shocked at how angry I could feel at some moments and it made me feel like the worlds worst mother.

my toddler is like this …. Screaming, demanding, refusing to listen… etc

Im very lucky to have family helping me remove the boredom

Absolutely normall. The worst times are often followed by a new milestone being met, then you find them wonderful again!

You’re doing great by not letting it show. If you show them anger they mirror it back and you become an angry family.

Make sure to look after yourself in general. Walks, fresh food, seeing friends. It all helps the brain deal with stress.

I honestly feel so fortunate, I didnt have this at toddler stage, the disobedience and destructive behaviour happened from 14 to 18 yo instead 😬 They then got a grip of themselves and it's been mainly OK for the last 3 years.
My DN threw herself on the floor in a shop kicking and screaming one Christmas when I was out with her mum and our mother. My DSis had told me she did this but I'd never seen it. I told my DSis and DM to just follow along. I went over to my DN and told her that we were leaving and she could decide to stay kicking and screaming or come with us. We then walked off. She quickly jumped up ran after us and apologised. Apparently she never did it again. She was 3 so a little older than your DC @Heaaag they know exactly what they're doing and maybe need to know that you are nit accepting it. With a 2yo I'd say that the behaviour makes mum very sad and upset because I know what a lovely, good child they are. I'd ask if they want to upset mummy. They should say no and start to feel bad. If the do have a lovely cuddle and ask that they tell you if they're not happy so you can help esp if they don't feel very well.

Single parents are absolute heroes. I did it after my DH died with a 13 and 14 yo at schools 3 miles away so I couldnt get into work (no remote working then!) and honestly it's so hard but we get through it.

Good luck 🫶

This.

Well said.

Normal in my house, I currently hate the period from collection-bed time as my 3 yr old has dropped his nap at creche(yet defo still needs one) so is incredibly tired and ratty when I collect him. He will either fall asleep on the way home so when I wake him he has a breakdown or he is completely crazy until bedtime. He is also refusing nearly all food for me we are surviving on fruit & yoghurt basically. Really hoping it passes soon 😩

Do they annoy me sometimes , yes.
Do I feel like I hate them? Never.