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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask to do this or will my manager think it’s taking the piss?

55 replies

Heaaag · 21/08/2024 15:09

I’m worn down so my perspective is probably off.

Single parent, dd 3. I have been taking one day annual leave a week annual leave since she turned two (I get a lot of leave so just about managed it over 52 weeks). I managed to do this as we had three changes in management and it just got put through and approved

recent manager is here to stay. I like him. But he is always talking about people having proper breaks and a full week off etc. I absolutely do not need a week off as I can’t think of anything more stressful than 7 full days with dd without a break at this age. I am a lone parent so do absolutely everything for her and already have lots of time together before and after nursery and weekends and the one day annual leave in the week. Work is a break for me. I get that unless you’re a lone parent it’s hard to understand that.

i want to continue this annual leave pattern until she is 4 and closer to going to school. I am going to ask and obviously nobody here can tell me what he will say. But do you think I should entitled? I do always have my work phone and check in if needed and have worked on my days off etc so I intend on reminding him of this. But does it sound entitled? Will it make me seem a bit of a dick? I know I’ve already had this luxury longer than most would after maternity leave.

OP posts:
Original poster
Heaaag · 21/08/2024 15:09

*sound entitled

OP posts:
Moveoverdarlin · 21/08/2024 15:12

I think your logic sounds completely reasonable. I’d say to him exactly what you’ve said here ‘love my job, it’s a break for me and a week’s holiday does not appeal right now. When she starts school things will change but are you ok if I carry on with the current arrangement?’

rwalker · 21/08/2024 15:13

I wonder if there could be more to this than him thinking you need a break

we had one person that y u see to book a day a week of in summer that used to fuck the A/L for everyone else as took a leave slot so they couldn’t get a full week

Tdcp · 21/08/2024 15:14

I don't think it sounds entitled as you have a standing arrangement with the company to take your annual leave this way so there is an argument for keeping it however, I can see that depending on your role, it might be quite detrimental to have a member of staff consistently off work one day a week. Can you ask about condensing your hours?

Shibr · 21/08/2024 15:16

Is there anyway to condense your hours? Could you do a 9 day fortnight and then you’d only have to take 1 day annual leave every 2 weeks instead of 2. You could then build up a few days and take a few days or a day here and there off for yourself - keep your daughter in nursery that day. I sometimes do this, have a day off, child at nursery, go and do things I want to do on my own, have a nice lunch, then pick them up as usual!

BobbyBiscuits · 21/08/2024 15:17

If anything it sounds like you're not really getting the benefit of the leave, and it's more a childcare based arrangement. I can see why boss might think from a wellbeing perspective you should have some of your leave as a few days to relax or go away etc. but if it's not negatively impacting the rest of the team then they should hopefully let it continue.
The issue maybe if everyone wanted to do similar it could cause issues with being short handed pretty much most of the time. Whereas if you're off for a week then they could arrange things easier, or get a temp or something.
I hope that they let you continue if that's what's best for you though.

Winederlust · 21/08/2024 15:18

I know that this wouldn't be allowed at my work (public sector). Annual leave shouldn't be taken as a substitute for what is essentially an alternative working pattern to the one you're contracted for.
If you want a 4 day week you'd have to move to P/T or work compressed hours if that's something available to you.

It's not fair on your colleagues or employer who will not be able to put in place permanent cover for the day you're missing every week.

DappledThings · 21/08/2024 15:19

If someone asked this of me I wouldn't consider it a luxury as you put it at all, or a privilege. It's your leave. I'd feel sorry for you you weren't able to get a proper break and I might just mention I'd like you to consider taking a chunk of time off at some point for your own sake.

I wouldn't consider it cheeky though or anything like that.

Clarinet1 · 21/08/2024 15:20

I think there’s no harm asking. As PP have touched on whether you are BU could depend on whether the nature of your role means that there must be cover when you are off which could have a knock-on effect on others. However see what can be worked out.

PermanentlyFullLaundryBasket · 21/08/2024 15:20

I wouldn't think you were taking the piss, but I do think at least one full week off a year would be a good idea, even if you keep your daughter in childcare for the week.
I have done this over summer holidays in the past, taken one day a week to reduce my childcare costs. I now keep one day a week meeting free all year to give myself breathing space from work instead!

RaininSummer · 21/08/2024 15:20

I think, depending on your role, having a member of staff always off one day a week could be annoying. Also it could stop others booking a week off as other poster says. When do you actually have a break too.

Spotlightt · 21/08/2024 15:21

This wouldn't be allowed in anywhere I've worked, because you're not taking a proper break from work. You're even checking your phone on your days off. My workplaces would have wanted to ensure you have proper downtime. However, I think as your manager I'd be tempted to allow it given how you've explained that you couldn't think of anything worse than spending 7 days off. In certain cases, they should allow it. Just because I don't think its a good way to use holidays doesn't mean the next person shouldn't.

Peonies12 · 21/08/2024 15:21

I think this is the problem "I do always have my work phone and check in if needed and have worked on my days off etc ". Why on earth are you doing this? You're on leave. I wouldn't dream to do this. I wonder if there's a better arrangement like compressed hours. I do agree that from a wellbeing perspective, having a longer break from work would be beneficial.

loropianalover · 21/08/2024 15:23

Winederlust · 21/08/2024 15:18

I know that this wouldn't be allowed at my work (public sector). Annual leave shouldn't be taken as a substitute for what is essentially an alternative working pattern to the one you're contracted for.
If you want a 4 day week you'd have to move to P/T or work compressed hours if that's something available to you.

It's not fair on your colleagues or employer who will not be able to put in place permanent cover for the day you're missing every week.

Same here also public sector, this wouldn’t be allowed but they might let you apply to do condensed hours. You’d still have to take at least one full week off in the summer, they prefer for you to take 2 full weeks.

BrownBirdWelcomesWhiteWave · 21/08/2024 15:24

But he is always talking about people having proper breaks and a full week off etc. I absolutely do not need a week off as I can’t think of anything more stressful than 7 full days with dd without a break at this age.

i want to continue this annual leave pattern until she is 4 and closer to going to school. I am going to ask and obviously nobody here can tell me what he will say. But do you think I should entitled? I do always have my work phone and check in if needed and have worked on my days off etc so I intend on reminding him of this.

Well there is no break there at all if you are working on your days off
You do need time away from the office, and work.

Your home life is not their concern to be honest, can you put your dd in childcare even if you are not working?

ThatDaringMintCritic · 21/08/2024 15:26

I've worked in a number of places where this wouldn't be allowed. Habe you checked your staff handbook to see what the policy is on this.

Beezknees · 21/08/2024 15:29

YANBU to ask, they don't have to agree though.

saoirse31 · 21/08/2024 15:29

Think its unreasonable tbh as you are never getting a proper break from work. Also your dd is never getting a proper break from childcare.

Dearg · 21/08/2024 15:30

In my experience, it very much depends on the role and the size and depth of the team. As pp have suggested, if it makes it hard to cover for your days off, or impacts others leave requests, it would be a no.
In some roles, not taking full weeks leave can be seen as a red flag for fraud ( not suggesting that’s you op !) and therefore this pattern of leave would be denied.
All you can do is ask, explaining why, but be prepared that your new manager may disagree.

Itisjustmyopinion · 21/08/2024 15:30

Not necessarily entitled but as a manager I would decline this as a long term option under duty of care as working every week without a proper break is not good from a health perspective

Another couple of reasons that may only be relevant in some areas but I have come across it:

  • everyone needed to take 2 weeks at some point during the year for fraud prevention purposes (in fact anyone not taking full leave and working a pattern such as yours would be flagged). This was in teams that had access to financial systems
  • having a person taking one day off would mean that nobody else could take that week as there would not be sufficient cover

These may not apply to your job but the duty of care aspect would definitely come into play

KreedKafer · 21/08/2024 15:31

If I were your manager, I wouldn't think you were being entitled at all - I'd think you were using the benefits provided to you by your employer in the way that works best for you and your situation.

I suspect when your manager is encouraging people to take full weeks off and have proper breaks, he's speaking from a wellbeing perspective rather than actually hinting that he has a problem with your current arrangement. Most people's wellbeing does benefit from a proper break from work, but there's no one-size-fits-all here, and it sounds like you're an exception to that, which is totally fine.

Where I work, using annual leave in this type of way is something that would be thought of us as part of our flexible working policy and totally acceptable.

StrawberriesandMango · 21/08/2024 15:31

It's your child not booked into nursery whilst at work, so if your off for a week they will still be in nursery and you get a break?

Mrsttcno1 · 21/08/2024 15:33

There are definitely duty of care considerations here for any manager, could you not request flexible or alternative working patterns to do this formally while still allowing you to have your AL to then use on top?

As others have said there’s also the fact that it could potentially prevent others taking leave when they want to which isn’t fair, how much of an issue that is depends on your workplace though

Original poster
Heaaag · 21/08/2024 15:38

StrawberriesandMango · 21/08/2024 15:31

It's your child not booked into nursery whilst at work, so if your off for a week they will still be in nursery and you get a break?

@StrawberriesandMango i need my leave to cover the whole year so if I took a week I would run out

OP posts:
HiCandles · 21/08/2024 15:38

I think if it's not against the company leave policy, it's completely fine. It wouldn't be allowed at my workplace, with the exception of post maternity or sickness leave to continue easing the returner in gently.
However, how about taking a week off but keeping your daughter in her ordinary childcare? I'm assuming that the childcare is possibly family who'd expect you to then have your daughter, otherwise you'd already have considered this. If so, don't tell them you're on leave!
When I was off on maternity leave prior to second's birth, it was wonderful to be off but with toddler in nursery!

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