To think that people like this are ignorant and narrow-minded?

[ReadingMum92]

As a woman, raising a woman and I guess being of a younger generation - I’m quite into women’s rights and actually realising how oppressed women are, even in today’s society. It’s scary having to raise a young girl in a world where they are blamed for things based on what they wear, being scared to walk the streets alone after a certain time, etc.

I was having a conversation with another female relative about it - who also has several daughters herself - and her opinion was basically well if my own family are okay, I don’t really care about the other women and they just have to deal with the cards they get dealt sort of thing, it’s not my problem.

Now I know everyone has different views, opinions, interests, passions, etc but AIBU for thinking this is such ignorant and narrow-minded thinking especially when it’s things that affect your own life and all the female relatives around you, etc?! I mean her own daughters have suffered horrendously at the hands of men over the years, and she still couldn’t care less about these sorts of issues, it just makes me so mad in a way!

(Just to add, the intention isn’t a witch-hunt against men or blaming men for all the issues, it’s just the realisation that it’s still not a fair society at all and there is still such an inequality where men and women are concerned and how women in some parts of the world have no rights whatsoever, have no rights over their own bodies, etc - and how some women are so against wanting to open their eyes or care about that).

Maybe she's just got a lot on her plate, having several daughters. What exactly do you want her to do?

I think it’s quite a naive view - when rights get eroded that affects us all. It’s like people who aren’t concerned about abortion rights because they personally don’t think they’d ever get an abortion, but don’t realise that (as is happening in the US now) restricting abortion also restricts the care can given during pregnancy, during a miscarriage, and access to fertility treatments.

But equally I can see how lots of people feel powerless against systemic problems and just looking after their own family seems difficult enough that they don’t have the energy to look outside that.

Tbh I think you probably don't want to know just how many people actually feel that way, deep down.

People tend to care (loudly) right up to the point something negatively affects them in some way then it's suddenly survival of the fittest.

I’m sure we are all aware if the injustice that women in some countries face. The oppression, the misogyny and the fact that women are not seen as worthy. However, I agree with what previous poster above alluded to…
We can all care deeply, but the true passion, concern, energy and ooomph will always be for our own family, not the masses. I’ve personally no regret about that. If that means only addressing the consequences, rather than the root cause then so be it. It really is every man/women/person for themselves, in this world and not feeling bad about that doesn’t make someone a bad person.

"her own daughters have suffered horrendously at the hands of men over the years, and she still couldn’t care less about these sorts of issues"

Really?? If that's true then YABU to expect her to care about other women if she didn't/doesn't care about her own daughters OR she's worn out with actually caring a lot about the "horrendous suffering" of her daughters and has nothing left now. Either way you do you, let her do her thing without your judgement on things you may not be even close to knowing the full extent of.

It's in the Venn Diagram of women's rights. There is a little cross-over maybe with women who will never find themselves at the mercy of grooming gangs or walking home alone in a high crime/high deprivation area. There's not enough; 'there but for the grace of God'/'Could have been me'. Oftentime though, people can't control where their compassion line stops and starts and once you throw in the inherited beliefs and nature nurture etc it's becomes subjective.

I agree. There used to be fairly regular threads on here from posters annoyed that they had to fold their pushchairs down on buses because a wheelchair user had the audacity to want to use the dedicated wheelchair space.
It was almost like they couldn't comprehend that one day they might be a wheelchair user themselves and then have to fight for every little scrap of equality.
It does seem like a lot of people couldn't really give a toss about something until it starts having a direct impact on them and then they're shouting about unfairness.

Need more info about the conversation you had. I have wealthy friends who don’t work, have nannies / cleaners etc, who spend their free time protesting. I have no time or energy for this. That doesn’t mean I don’t care tho

It's called compassion fatigue - especially common amongst those whose daily lives are about trying to get by with the barest of resources available to them. Throw in disability, housing/ job uncertainty, aging parents requiring care and lack of money ect to the mix, and you will find this phenomenon take shape. On the other hand, if you have all the security required to maintain a decent standard of living, you will have the capacity required to get on-board with protesting and trying to even up the stakes when it comes to equality issues. It's not that the first lot don't care, they simply haven't the mental/ emotional space to take on anymore problems.