Hi, I have never posted anything like this before and have a lot to get off my chest but please bear with me.
I have quite a controlling MIL who wants to be a part of every aspect of my life. Whilst I know she is just trying to be friendly, she has two sons and considers me as a daughter, it is verging on irritating and I have started to push back. I have ended up in therapy due to her behaviour and I found a lot of stuff I was doing was purely out of guilt. She told some people she is friends with some private medical history about myself and when my husband found out and told her she shouldn't do that she acted as though she was the victim and refused to leave her house for a week in fear of bumping into anyone and "saying the wrong thing". Last year I fell pregnant and was very unwell. MIL was very keen in trying to diagnose me even though the doctors involved said I had nothing medically wrong with me. A few months later my brother in law said his wife was pregnant. I hoped that this meant my MIL would leave me alone as my sister in law was able to tolerate her a lot more and give in to her demands. This made things a lot worse for me as everything she was doing in her pregnancy it was expected I would now do in mine ie private scans, gender reveal etc. My MIL got a copy of a scan photo printed at a private scan and immediately started asking that we get a spare print out for her of our baby at our next scan. At this point we were so late on we weren't even able to get copies for ourselves nevermind anyone else. From day 1 of finding out I was pregnant she was asking if we had names sorted, at that point we still hadn't had the news sink in never mind think about names.
When my brother in law announced their news he started talking about how he wanted both of our kids to be best friends. So far he has made no effort at all to see his nephew however knowing what he is like I am expecting that once his baby is born that he will be expecting us to be there at every beck and call to help out or to meet for play dates - with us having to go to them. His best friend had a baby one month before me and he visits their child more than his own nephew. Everytime we tried to arrange something he cancels last minute. I susoect he won't come to our house as he doesn't like the area we live in but you can't make promises that are only going to be kept if only one side puts the effort in. It gas been mentioned in the past about ME not putting any effort in getting involved but it's down to the way I feel treated when I do. It feels like it's one rule for me and another for everyone else. AIBU that I have had to push back?