To think people today aren’t really interested in other people’s partners

[ChorltonCreamery]

I am now heading towards 40.

Of course my husband and I have our own friends and two or three couple friends but over the last few years especially after Covid we are getting individual invitations where I would normally expect to be invited as a couple.

At the weekend another wedding invitation arrived just for him from a colleague to the whole day. This colleague became a friend of DH’s because of shared hobby and had been to the house several times.

A cousin of DH’s invited him and his siblings away for the weekend without any of our families.

One Of my own cousins got married again last year and they only wanted me to go.

Friends that we make seem uninterested in getting to know us as a couple and don’t have an interest in introducing their own husbands.

When we first got together everyone seemed more eager to mix and expand social circles.

Is this just my experience ? Have the norms and protocols changed?

@Lavenderandbrown I wouldn't invite a spouse to a school reunion either. That's a very different occasion.

Absolutely a school reunion would be odd .. almost co-dependant, that kind of event is not what I mean.

School reunion and work dos I don't see why partners would be there.

Family and friend events surprise me a bit more, particularly when I'm not sure it's about the cost (surely all the cousins are paying for themselves and not being hosted by one cousin?). I wonder if it's actually linked to a (subconscious) understanding that partnerships aren't permanent any more, even when people are married, so people don't want to put in the effort with someone who may not be around in ten years' time. With higher rate of divorce, it's questionable whether in-laws are actually 'family'.

Personally, I am interested in my friends' partners because they often become friends in their own right and I think that if they don't feel part of the group, you can lose your friend as well.

Thank you for affirming what I thought too..it IS codependent. We have had words over him missing other more important events this summer yet still expressing interest in going with me and my two best friends from school who I still see and talk to to this reunion. It’s actually caused a silence to descend upon us this week to the point I have said…if you want to come fine but you are going to be on your own for some of it. And I don’t even remember everyone’s names so I’m not facilitating introductions. I agree it’s quite different than a wedding family gathering or work party.