To think fidget toys aren't the same as glasses and wheelchairs?

[IroningThrone]

Came across a discussion on Facebook -one poster said the fidget toys in the vid were plastic tat. Another person replied that they're necessary and in the same class as glasses and wheelchairs.

They're not though, are they? The majority of them seem to be bought by kids who use them for a few weeks then they break and go in the bin. And they didn't seem to exist until a few years ago!

This is a nasty, mean-spirited thread. I'm so tired of people starting threads thinking their ND bashing is subtle, dressed up in faux curiosity or naivete when it's really obvious what they're getting at.

Pitting different types of disability against each other is extremely distasteful. It's also completely pointless.The comparison means nothing and changes nothing.

All I know is that having access to a (small, silent and not being used in a way that impacts anyone else) fidget toy has stopped my AuDHD 10 year old from picking her skin until she draws blood and pulling her hair out. So i'm not overly concerned about a lack of peer reviewed studies proving their effectiveness. What does concern me is the relentless negativity, suspicion and dismissiveness aimed at anything designed to support ND needs or make the lives of ND children easier by people who clearly understand nothing about ND.

My daughter is neurodiverse too.

Your daughter not needing them doesn’t make them not crucial and as valuable for others. Thankfully the law sees the value in reasonable adjustments for ND. As we were told by my DD’s NHs team, you wouldn’t take somebody’s wheelchair and make them climb up stairs and go into a meeting unaided so why should your daughter go into the same meeting without the support aids she needs.

So you’ll know neurodiversity varies- a lot.

Yes entitled - one person's needs don't trump anyone else's needs, just because they have a document to state a need. The idea that “my freedom ends where yours begins” is a fundamental principle that lies at the heart of a harmonious and just society. This concept encapsulates the understanding that while individuals have the right to exercise their freedoms, those freedoms must not infringe upon the rights and freedoms of others. Worth noting as it's fundamentally the issue with society today and the statements made on this thread encapsulates this issue.

Whereas downplaying other people’s disabilities shows what a wonderful person you are!

why does it need to be a competition?

Wow. All the explanations you have had and you still don't see how awful you are being. You still haven't answered my question as to what the difference would be in an autistic life being saved by fidgets and a blind person's life saved by glasses? Just an attempt at insulting me rather than any attempt to reflect and learn. If your daughter is ND you really do need to work on your understanding of it.

So people who have SEN legal documents set up to give their child an education are entitled. Heard it all now. Newsflash! I’d rather she didn’t have the SENs needing the reasonable adjustments in the first place .

Oh dear... Another one. Newsflash - the other side of the coin to rights are responsibilities... Where rights impact on others then responsibilities are also vitally important to consider... There is far too much in British society where people are 'entitled' to rights but never, ever have responsibilities towards others... They are equally if not more important, if you want to live in a harmonious and balanced society, that is. If you don't, crack on.

So professionals decide what a child needs to access education, put it into a legal document but everybody should ignore it. Sounds great!

TBH I hate any comparison of disability aids like this, it doesn't help anyone. I use fidget tools and a wheelchair (and yes, before fidgets were a thing I used blutac and got it stuck in my hair, or chewed my fingers to shreds). Both are necessary in different ways and comparing them usually ends up with mental health or autism, adhd access needs being belittled.
The other problem with comparison is the endless assumption that everything is fine for wheelchair users. "you wouldn't deny a wheelchair user a ramp so you shouldn't xyz" is such a ridiculous statement because in everyday life there are so many places, including many schools, that wheelchair users can't access even when there's an easy fix. Or "you wouldn't deny someone a wheelchair so you shouldn't deny someone xyz adjustment". Except that so many wheelchair users, including children, have to self fund thousands of pounds, or rely on charities if they're lucky, because NHS wheelchair services aren't fit for purpose. So in reality many people who need wheelchairs are denied them.

But above all it's frustrating because it's just infighting amongst disabled people which is the last thing we need when we're all just trying to get by in an inaccessible and often ableist world.

Keep going - you're very neatly proving my point.

I don't get this competing threads. They are ridiculous because all ND children are different and have different needs. My autistic DS doesn't like using fidgets but I know other autistic children who are dependant of them and even attached to a special one they can't leave the house without. Literally. So yes, for my DS fidgets is plastic crap but he needs his glasses. For another boy I know who is non verbal autistic his string (crap to some) is what calms him down and makes it possible for him to go outside meeting the world. Take the string away and his world will fall apart. Why can't everyone just agree on that different children have different needs and no need to play top trumps. We just have to do our best to meet their needs.

Autistic family member can't go to some places without one. For some ND people they are very important.

I do wish fidget toys had been around when I was a child, as I used to pick at the skin on my hands until it bled -the sides of my fingers are now very scarred. I'm autistic, but I always thought I didn't stim. It is only this thread that made me realise that the skin picking, doodling and playing with jewellry was stimming.

However, I tend to get quiet ones as I can't stand the noise of clicks.

A tangle and a stretchy worm. Both bought at non specialist shops. Or off Amazon.

A compromise is needed in conflicting needs...three autistic people in one space...one meltdown can trigger two more instantly!

One person's stim can set another off. I often tell mine to stop X try y instead.

We did trial it and m left it up to the teacher and she agreed that they were just creating a problem rather than solving one. She seemed relieved in fact as she has about 20 children in the class messing about with various fidgets.

But my daughter uses fidget tools to access society.

If she didn't have them she wouldn't be able to do manage a trip to the doctor, optician or the dentist, get on a plane, sit through an assembly at school....

At her first school she was wildly unsupported and couldn't take part in anything. She moved to a new school, and a few weeks in there was an assembly that the parents were invited to. I sat at the back expecting to have to leg it out/help her into the hall, but she walked in, fully prepared and settled, smile on her face despite a room full of strangers/applause, holding a wobble cushion, ear defenders and a glitter calm jar thing. She genuinely couldn't have achieved that without those sensory aids. Utterly, completely life changing for her, as she sat through the whole assembly.

The next year in the assembly she actually stood up on stage and recited a poem in front of all the parents despite being selectively mute. She did this because she had a lot of input from either an OT or ed Psych, I forget which, and they gave her a fidget tool in her hand that she was moving in time to her speech. Again, it's a tool she's been trained to use, and again, that's accessing society. It's not dissimilar to a crutch for a weak leg, just it aids communication rather than physical movement.

A lot of these comments are really disappointing and slightly upsetting to read.

It doesn't matter if they're cheap and mass produced, in fact, isn't it actually quite wonderful that so many smaller aids are cheap? How awful it would be if they were expensive and cost prohibitive?

If wheelchairs were being ridden by able bodied kids to get around, would it de-legitimise the wheelchair use of mobility impaired wheelchair users?

This is so well explained.
I also think it's great that these tools are widely available and are quite cheap.

So you have a older person, with neurological issues, dementia/parkinsons/confusion etc who couldn't sit anywhere, but especially in a hospital appointment/bed, without fidget toys, were does that fit on the essential aspect?

fFdget schmidget. Not on a par with specs or chairs at all.