How do I get out of this situation?

[ReadingMum92]

So I will start off by saying, that it’s completely my own fault for letting it go on this long!

I have been single for quite a while, not looking for any dates etc, but one of my dating profiles was still active and I used to have a scroll on there every now and then. When I last logged on a couple of weeks ago, I noticed that a while back I had matched with someone and she had sent me a few messages. I replied and didn’t think much of it, because a lot of the time nothing comes of it but we’ve ended up really enjoying each other’s company and having great conversations over the last couple of weeks.

It’s now come to a stage where she is asking to meet, and I think the reality of it has suddenly hit me that I don’t want a relationship or the commitment of anything. I’m a single parent to a child with additional needs, so getting any time to myself is difficult and then because I have some health issues, any time that I do get to myself I prefer to rest and recover ready to parent again when I need to.

How do I gracefully get out of this situation without coming across like a total twat? I just feel a bit awkward because we’ve spoken about some really personal things where she’s really opened up to me, and there was a time that I was considering just going with the flow and meeting up and seeing what happens - until the gravity of it hit me and I got quite anxious about taking anything further - so she could see this as quite a sudden change/turn of events. She kind of gave a day that she wanted to do something and it’s in a couple of days time, so I feel like I don’t even have time to slowly phase it out sort of thing…

Has anyone got any helpful advice please?

Thank-you in advance! X

I think you should just be totally honest. Take your time to draft and redraft the message (use your OP as a basis). Read it through someone else's eyes and think "How would I feel reading this?"
She might be hurt, pissed off, angry, etc. or she might just thank you for being honest and not ghosting her. Her reaction is outwith your control but your conscience will be clearer for not making up silly excuses.
Go easy on yourself. We can all get swept along by stuff and then freak out at the reality.

Just be honest. Unfortunately you're both there for different things. She wants more than you can offer.
I'd let her know that you've really enjoyed getting to know her but you aren't in a position to meet up now or any time soon. Leave the door open by saying you're always up for a chat but don't want anything romantic at the moment.

If she starts questioning why you're on a dating site etc, you don't really owe her any more of an explanation but you can just be truthful and say it's an old account and you were just checking in.

How about:

Hi Jane it's been lovely chatting with you however I've realised that now is not the right time to consider starting a relationship so I won't be able to meet up with you. I wish you all the best

And kindly, next time try not to get emotionally involved with someone you haven't met in person

You be honest, just say

"I really enjoy your company and the
conversations we've had over the last couple of weeks. When we began talking, I had the intention of going with the flow to see where this led, but I have to be honest about where I am now. You asking to meet made the reality of the us suddenly hit me. I'm not able to have a relationship right now. I’m a single parent to a child with additional needs, so getting any time to myself is difficult and then because I have some health issues, any time that I do get to myself I prefer to rest and recover ready to parent again when I need to. I'm sorry not to have realised this sooner"

Good advice from @curtaintwitcher78 .

It can work out. It worked out for me. 14 years later still together. It's more about where you're at and getting swept up in something without admitting you're not ready for it.

Thank you everyone for your advice so far, I definitely agree it’s better to be honest and just ripping the band aid off. I think I’ve panicked a bit more than I usually would too because I’ve genuinely been feeling awful the last couple of weeks with my health conditions flaring up, and that’s when reality really hits, like how can I possibly make time and effort for someone else in my life whilst feeling like this… especially when it’s quite a common occurrence. I completely take the blame and fault for not realising sooner!