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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask for your thoughts in ADHD in women?

1 reply

stressedout1994 · 20/08/2024 16:49

Hi all,

My mother recently said to me that she thinks I have ADHD. I've done all the various online tests, and yes - some of my behaviours track with what people consider to be ADHD-adjacent:

  • Historically, very dopamine-oriented behaviour, such as over-eating or dating impulsively
  • Really putting tasks off, delaying things until the very last minute - sometimes having to work through the night, having faffed around all day
  • Really fidgety - I drive DP mad in the cinema
  • Interrupting people
  • Plagued by compulsive / intrusive thoughts

The thing is that I've always thought that some of these things - poor attention span etc - are just relatively normal, and likely a side-effect of growing up with the internet. I've been relatively successful in my career so far, and - despite being very last-minute and sometimes quite disorganised - managed to 'pull things out the bag'. I'm scrupulously tidy and can be very focussed at times. I got a 1st in my degree and a distinction in my legal conversion course. I find the idea that there is something 'wrong' with me really upsetting. I'm naturally very suspicious of people pathologising what is basically normal if irritating behaviour.

I've just started work as a trainee solicitor and the firm have made us sit through a few day-long online lectures. I can read hundreds of pages of text, study for a long time etc (if in the groove) but something about the online medium just made me feel like something had gone completely wrong in my brain. I listened and made notes and nothing went in. I finished every day feeling weirdly angry.

What should I do? I've tried to limit external stimuli - ear plugs so not distracted by sounds, deleting social media, practicing breathing exercises, establishing routine etc. But sometimes I just feel paralysed, or like my brain is everywhere. Have any of you experienced this? Should I go on medication? Is this just pathologising normal behaviour?

YANBU - sounds like you might have ADHD
YABU - stop pathologising things, it's normal to find a day-long tax law lecture completely dull

OP posts:
BigFeetEnergy · 20/08/2024 17:01

Don't most people have a few traits of varying severity that could be pathologised as Adhd?
You're neither BU or NBU.

If your traits impact on how you function in a way that bothers you, you could look for a diagnosis and medication. You could see if it improves things for you, stop taking it if it doesn't.

But if having a label upsets you, then tell your mum to wind her neck in and carry on as you are. I agree that everything you describe seems within the realms of 'normal'

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