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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking newborn to Europe in November?

27 replies

AlmostThere88 · 20/08/2024 02:53

I'm about to have my first baby, any minute now. We're from the UK but live abroad, an 11 hour flight from London. I only get 5 months maternity leave (well, 3 months, but I have some holiday and unpaid time I can add) so I'll have to go back to work mid January.

I want to go home and visit family. Show off my baby to elderly relatives etc. I also miss home so much. Baby would be around 12 weeks old when we would travel but it would be November/December time.

I'm not worried about the flight, but very worried about baby getting sick. So many relatives coming to meet him, at a time when everyone is super sick in the UK! We live in a hot climate here so weather and germs will be a shock for such a small baby.

Am I overly worried? My mum thinks it's stupid and I'm risking baby's health unnecessarily.

Unfortunately I have to use loads of leave to add to my mat leave so I won't be able to go home with baby otherwise until August and it will be very rushed, I won't have more than a week in the UK and families live opposite ends of the country, it would be fucking horrendous. And baby will be 12 months and an absolute nightmare to fly with!

YABU if I should not go, YANBU if you think I should go.

PS. We're moving back to the UK in 2026 so this won't be a problem going forward.

OP posts:
TreadLightly3 · 20/08/2024 02:56

Personally I would be worried about exposing the baby to so many germs at such a young age on 2 x 11 hour flights, especially at that time of year as you say

orangalang · 20/08/2024 03:04

Maternity leave is precious. Don't ruin the time you have

Original poster
AlmostThere88 · 20/08/2024 03:05

@TreadLightly3 we'd definitely fly business so hopefully that takes away some of the risk, less people around etc. Although I guess in the airport you are still among the crowds. It's also all the relatives and friends giving him a cuddle or even just being in the same room while they're all carrying a virus, the damp cold air in the UK, my FIL who is notoriously cheap and doesn't put the bloody heating on (he's rich but cheap).

OP posts:
Original poster
AlmostThere88 · 20/08/2024 03:06

orangalang · 20/08/2024 03:04

Maternity leave is precious. Don't ruin the time you have

@orangalang that's the thing, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to go home during mat leave. I hate how far away we live. Hate hate hate it. The length of the flight means very few relatives can visit.

OP posts:
orangalang · 20/08/2024 03:11

@AlmostThere88 well then go for it. If that's what you want then don't spend a second considering other peoples opinion. I don't have your situation so to me I would do different but I'm not in your situation or have your family etc.

Olika · 20/08/2024 03:14

I was advised to wait until baby has got all immunisations (in the uk that's 16 weeks). But I suppose if you want/need to travel then you just do. At last if you do business it will hopefully limit amount of exposure.

Guavafish1 · 20/08/2024 03:17

I would go!

There always a risk with anything you do

orangalang · 20/08/2024 03:17

@AlmostThere88
Also I'm pretty sure everyone I've ever met has either got a cold or carrying a virus. Not sure what's worse, letting family touch a child, taking them to a park/soft play, having them stripped off and weighed as a newborn in a clinic.

Olympi · 20/08/2024 03:22

I couldn't have done it from a recovery pov I had some complications. But also on a stress level I wouldn't have dealt well with it, but you seem quite chilled I was not at the time!

I wouldn't worry to much about sickness in the UK, I would just be super strict with relatives on if they are sick you don't see them , no kissing, hand washing etc. Does your family have young children in that's where I'd be a bit more worried The plane you have less control over it's the air that can spread germs as its getting circulated.

endofthelinefinally · 20/08/2024 03:25

Get your travel insurance in place for you and your baby. Will you have baby's passport sorted?

Original poster
AlmostThere88 · 20/08/2024 03:41

@endofthelinefinally yes, baby's British passport will be sorted by then.

OP posts:
Original poster
AlmostThere88 · 20/08/2024 03:46

@Olympi actually there are no other young kids in either family yet, baby will be the first grandchild/nephew for everyone, and no one works with kids either.

OP posts:
Original poster
AlmostThere88 · 20/08/2024 03:48

@Olympi to be fair, my mum has raised your point too, she thinks I'm being too ambitious about my recovery, and doesn't want me to force myself to do such a big trip. She had PND with me so she's quite protective and anxious.

OP posts:
otravezempezamos · 20/08/2024 04:28

Go OP. I was an expat for 11 years, and family time is precious. You have a rare chance to have 5 months off work to dedicate solely to family, and if that can involve a trip to your homeland and spending time with your family and culture there - do it. Forget everyone else's opinion. What solutions are they offering? That you get your relatives to form a bond with your child on FaceTime? Try again.

rayofsunshine86 · 20/08/2024 05:39

Your baby will be fine as long as you have Calpol.

If needs be you can always take the baby to urgent care for antibiotics. Better yet you can see a GP locally or online.

CanelliniBeans · 20/08/2024 05:42

Flying business class will make the journey much easier. Make sure all vaccinations are up to date. Allow a few days when you get there for the baby to acclimatise and be careful with clothing etc if there's a dramatic temperature change. Then enjoy meeting everyone and enjoy your maternity leave. Sounds a fantastic idea!

RBowmama · 20/08/2024 05:54

Honestly I'd do it. Your baby will be 12wks old, that's past the newborn stage. I didn't have easy births/recoveries with mine but I took it easy the the first month and was doing normal life by 12wks. We took our 5m old on holiday to a v hot country and were concerned about the opposite, it being too hot for baby, drinking water/making up formula but we carefully planned and all was right and well. I had the best mat leave and memories to look back on so that's why I vote do it. It's not massively different to being here with a small baby and staying with family over Christmas and it's germ season. Most people are sensible and stay away don't hold baby if they have a cold/sniffles. Everyone in our family/friend's are like this anyway and overly cautious.

Bambooshoot · 20/08/2024 09:26

If you are able to breastfeed then the baby would still be getting immunity to bugs from you, I would have thought?

Flossyts · 20/08/2024 12:02

AlmostThere88 · 20/08/2024 02:53

I'm about to have my first baby, any minute now. We're from the UK but live abroad, an 11 hour flight from London. I only get 5 months maternity leave (well, 3 months, but I have some holiday and unpaid time I can add) so I'll have to go back to work mid January.

I want to go home and visit family. Show off my baby to elderly relatives etc. I also miss home so much. Baby would be around 12 weeks old when we would travel but it would be November/December time.

I'm not worried about the flight, but very worried about baby getting sick. So many relatives coming to meet him, at a time when everyone is super sick in the UK! We live in a hot climate here so weather and germs will be a shock for such a small baby.

Am I overly worried? My mum thinks it's stupid and I'm risking baby's health unnecessarily.

Unfortunately I have to use loads of leave to add to my mat leave so I won't be able to go home with baby otherwise until August and it will be very rushed, I won't have more than a week in the UK and families live opposite ends of the country, it would be fucking horrendous. And baby will be 12 months and an absolute nightmare to fly with!

YABU if I should not go, YANBU if you think I should go.

PS. We're moving back to the UK in 2026 so this won't be a problem going forward.

I think it would be a great opportunity. Especially if breastfed, flight shouldn’t be too difficult. I can’t imagine being hugely bothered about germs (any more than I would be in Tesco). For me the only question would be whether it’s where I wanted to spend my mat leave.

Flossyts · 20/08/2024 12:03

Possibly need to think about timing of immunisations. Ie don’t book a flight the day after

Original poster
AlmostThere88 · 20/08/2024 20:38

Thanks everyone! I really thought I'd be flamed for considering it! We'll see how baby is doing and book last minute but if he's healthy and I'm recovered, we'll likely go for it.

OP posts:
unicornflakegirl · 20/08/2024 20:47

I travelled a lot with DC1 as also lived abroad. I breastfed and it was so convenient for airports and for wherever we were staying that I didn’t have to bring bottles or look for whatever formula. During my maternity leave we must have been away for about 3 months in total (not in one go). It was much easier before crawling was a thing!

unicornflakegirl · 20/08/2024 20:49

If it’s going to be an expensive flight don’t leave it until the last minute to book, as you said you’re flying business you could book earlier and get it cheaper but with flexibility. We did some business class flights and some economy (albeit short haul) and all were fine. The biggest pain was usually airport security. A baby carrier is handy to have.

nomeslice · 20/08/2024 21:21

Go for it OP! We took a 3 week holiday to California (from the UK) when DD2 was 3 months old to visit family. DD1 was 3 years old at the time. It was brilliant. Due to my role its hard for me to take more than 2 weeks off at a time now I am back at work. I don't think I'd consider such a trip now as they are now 2 and 5 and the jet lag was rough. I had no work to come back to we had a slow recovery getting back on UK time with no other responsibilities.
The travel/flights were fine and didn't put me off.
I would avoid friends/relatives if they have viral symptoms with a new baby, whether I was at home or away. Enjoy your mat leave!

sectionscarhelp · 20/08/2024 22:06

I took my 12 week old to Cyprus. It was great op go for it I say ! We was told no swimming pool though (which I wouldn't have done anyway)