I really don’t enjoy holidays

[Jorge14]

Every year we go on holiday (family of 4). We save all year, my husband works extra hours so we can afford to go somewhere really nice. The kids look forward to it and enjoy it (actually my oldest is now 16 so he is starting to be bored & we now have to go with other people so he has someone to hang out with). I go through the yearly facade of booking it, getting ready for it, packing for it and I never enjoy it. Don’t get me wrong, I have great memories from family holidays and I feel fortunate that my kids have their memories, but I just don’t enjoy it. I don’t ruin it for anyone and I’m fine when I’m there but I just can’t wait to go home, my own bed, my own shower, my own things around me, no airport stress, no packing. I would rather take a couple of weeks off work and take it easy, go out for some nice days out etc. it seems nuts I’ve got to save all year for this 2 weeks that I really don’t enjoy. Am I the only person that feels like this, I don’t tell anyone as people just seem to be the complete opposite to me.

I get you. Personally I cannot understand why people book holidays months and years in advance. I have no idea what life will be like in 6 months time, how the DC's tastes may have changed. I also like more shorter holidays, although we are UK only for holidays so no need to worry about airports etc. Just jump in the car and go. We've had 3 UK holidays this summer each around 4-5 days. One of them was only booked 9 days before. I find that much less stressful.
Despite saying all that holidays are generally geared towards the DC, and all the faff involved in packing, unpacking, sorting them out can mean I only get small moments that I actually "enjoy". As long as the DC are having fun I'm happy with the odd ice cream, swim and nice meal as my moments of happiness.

I am the same OP. I enter into the spirit of holidays and enjoy reflecting on them afterwards, but am always counting down the days till we return.
I can think of nothing better than having the house and garden to myself whilst the family go away, knowing that they are having fun (ie so no guilt involved) and doing day trips, seeing old friends, reading, pottering and getting takeaways. Bliss.

I think "travel" and "family holidays" are two entirely different beasts

I couldn’t do a sitting around for 2 weeks holiday either.

I find airports really stressful since the pandemic and I much prefer doing shorter weekend breaks closer to home with friends and family.

The absolute relief of getting divorced was knowing I didn’t have to go on any more family holidays. Absolute joy and relief. The year before I actually “lost” my passport the week before and couldn’t travel for the trip. It spurred me on for a divorce as I relished the 2 weeks alone.
holidays just aren’t for some people!

Maybe city breaks instead would be more your thing?

I can’t handle more than a week in a resort type place - they all the same - but I do enjoy the complete switch off from real life

but we mostly do city type breaks and like adventurous holidays and we’ve never been back same place again

our 3 year olds been to Japan, Norway, Amsterdam, Vancouver and soon Thailand for a month (with new baby too!)

we’d go on holiday forever if we could live for it so are away a lot

id find using annual leave to be home a waste!!

I think plenty of people in all honesty don't like being around their partner and kids 24/7 - and it's kind of expected

I would hate two weeks in one place. I much prefer three to four day breaks, mainly uk based. I have four to five of those a year and love them.

One type of holiday doesn’t suite everyone. Different people like different kinds of breaks or ways to relax. I hate holidays abroad sitting by a pool and much prefer active holidays in the UK with my kids. Why not save some money next year and do a few active mini breaks trying different things.

@cocoloco23 re airports, if I am honest, I usually fly from Gatwick, and I don’t find it very busy. I also book daytime flights. But I always get there early, spend some time browsing in the duty free shop, try out the perfumes, buy myself a Frappuccino from Starbucks and / or have a nice lunch or early dinner in Wagamama or a restaurant and treat myself to two new novels from WH Smith book store which I spend a while choosing. My daughter is 15 so I can do all this with her. It isn’t so much loving the airport but loving the treats in the airport. It is all an expense so I know it isn’t necessarily possible for everyone, but at least planning something to look forward to when you get there is important. I also download something I am really looking forward to watching on my phone, so the waiting around is enjoyable too. On the way home, I guess I just enjoy looking round the shop and trying the food of the country airport I am in as it is all new. Just leaving lots of time and not rushing is the key.

Can you look at it from the perspective of coming home is part of the pleasure of the holiday - two weeks away makes you appreciate being back at home? In a way, it's better to feel like that than to be sad coming home, as home is where you are for 50 weeks of the year. Post-holiday blues can be very real and miserable if coming home isn't something you relish.

Is there any way ur children could go on a school trip as their holiday and u and husband could go somewhere at the same time just as a couple? It might be more of a break but with less hassle?

I think I would prefer a holiday where I’m not just sitting around. I like to see / do. I guess we can do that when the kids are older.

How old is your youngest? Assuming they are over 5 I see no reason why you can't do a "see/do" holiday? I mean plenty of people would say you could do that at any age which I wouldn't disagree with.

Plus, 2 weeks is too long in my books, especially if it isn't an active holiday.

@Mummadeze - thank you so much!

I do often think that many mumsnetters are doing holidays wrong.

We always incorporate something we do at home in to our holiday. We don’t do all inclusive or sitting by a pool. That would bore me to tears.

We do sport. Mountain biking in the alps, sport climbing in the south of Spain, sailing in Greece. We’re very proficient at all these sports so no need for kit hire or a guide.

But what are you and the kids in to? Sports or hobbies that can be done abroad in nicer
climates with nice facilities.

I enjoy self catering as it’s a lot more flexible, and you don’t have to stress about finding nice places to eat. Plus European supermarkets are ace!!

Flying from Liverpool is like this… much less stress compared to manchester

I understand this, but in my case it is because I live in such a beautiful place to which nothing can compare in my eyes. I am very lucky.
But my children are now adults and it is wonderful to hear them reminiscing about their childhood holidays which clearly meant a great deal to them. So maybe bite the bullet!

I don’t enjoy holidays at all now. I travelled a lot in my 20s and 30s, but have no desire to now. The preparation and the recovery are exhausting, and I find being around my family 24/7 horrendous!

we have had too many other expenses for the the last couple of years so haven’t been on holiday, and it has been such a relief. I love my home and everyday life.

We haven’t been abroad since 2008, but we have had some self catering holidays in this country.

Inevitably though, the places have been less comfortable than home and for the last four years, the weather has been poor, despite going at different times. DH enjoys it, but I put up with it and we only go for a week.

Last year was so bad we came home early. Why am I spending money to be miserable?

Resort holidays bore me to tears. I love backpacking and exploring round far flung places but that wouldn't be fun with younger kids (plus I can't afford it anymore) so much prefer UK holidays, camping or city breaks. Take charge next time and find something you want to do. Even if that is staying home and treating yourselves with all that money you've saved not going abroad.

Why on earth are you going for 2 weeks? Unless you love it why don't you just go for a week? That's plenty enough.

No one properly enjoys family holidays! Why not book a week away with DH?

I love my holidays but a week is plenty for me. I am also ready to get back to my home by then. 10 days is too much so I wouldn't even contemplate 2 weeks, I'd be bored stiff.

I love a holiday, also love the planning. I'm away at the moment and loved planning what we were going to do, then get here and totally ignore it 😂 and already thinking forward to our next one.

But - we all enjoy different things, if your idea of relaxation is to have a week off lounging and doing a few day trips I think you should split your 2 weeks like that. One week away, one week at home. If your older teen is getting bored anyway a week is enough.

Not all holidays need to be abroad, unless you crave the sunshine! There are plenty of amazing places to visit in the UK. Have you considered travelling perhaps by train (to save the airport stress).

My father really does not enjoy leaving his house and his comforts, so I do understand. However, I clearly don't take after him as I own a travel business and will go anywhere at the drop of a hat. I tend to get a bit bored with the sameness of being at home and doing the same thing all the time.

Don't beat yourself up, we are all different and that is fine. Maybe send your husband with the kids and your holiday is at home in peace!