To feel like a failure?

[creepywoman]

I’m 28 and feel like a huge failure in life. I don’t like anything about my life and just want a fresh start without all the drama.

I’m employed and have worked at my company for years, but the workplace culture is really bad now and work is very stressful. My manager came on to me, and I wasn’t comfortable with that. I complained about him and the company is trying to manage me out; all of a sudden the career I worked really hard for has gone away. I need to get a new job/new employer and start completely afresh. It’s frustrating as I have just been promoted as was otherwise doing well at work.

As I’m so stressed I barely do anything outside of work. I feel like a shell of who I used to be. I am really isolated from support. I’ve probably let myself go a bit.

I currently rent and have no savings. Hate where I live. I live alone.

I’m single too.

just feel like I have nothing going for me! Aibu? Has anyone been through similar?

You do have something going for you... The ability to just up and leave. Still young and not being tied down by relationships or children means you can absolutely go anywhere or give anything work wise a go. Don't beat yourself up, that toxic environment is not where you are meant to be. You stood up for yourself and sadly the company have shown their true colours by defending someone that did that. You will be more valued elsewhere honest.

I was married but in a similar situation and same age, we took a risk and just dropped everything and moved two hours away. It was the best decision we made and although it was so so hard in the beginning money wise and starting afresh in new employment by sacrificing a few things we made it work and have some amazing memories.

I’m sorry about what’s happening to you at work. You’ve been put in an awful position and it sounds like treated illegally, but that doesn’t make you a failure in any way. You have a career, you just got promoted, you pay for a home by yourself, and most importantly you’ve recognised that you can do better than this.

I moved to a new city when I was 28 - I’d been here a couple of times, liked the vibe, wanted to get out of where I was. You can do that too! Where would you want to live, if you could pick? What’s your industry like, can you work anywhere or geographically limited?

Is there anyone you could reach out to, maybe to arrange a coffee or a drink or a walk this week? I’ve been through a time of real stress and I withdrew from my friends (and was a probably really bad friend through that). I eventually text a couple of old friends, not really knowing what to expect, and they were so great about it. It feels like talking to someone outside of work might do you some good right now.

Yeh, most of us have been there at some stage OP.
So on the positive, you rent, so you aren't 'stuck' and can move.
You don't have a partner, so again you can move.
You don't like your job, and your manager sounds like a right sleazy git, so you can move with no guilt.

Now break it down into manageable chunks:
Where would you most like to move to and why? What is it which draws you to that place?
Next start looking for jobs in that area, give yourself plenty of time, your current job is shite, but it's paying your bills, so you have time to stop and shop for a new job.
So what job are you qualified to do? What job would you like to do, think about the steps you can make from moving to job A to job B, don't get disillusioned if you get a few knock back, pretty much everyone does (I believe JK Rowling got knocked back by a few publishers when she tried to get HP into print).
Next stressed and lonely, what do you like doing in your spare time? Any sports you like doing? Have you ever tried a less popular sport like fencing? I used to fence and made some lovely friends through the club, although my knees are buggered and I can no longer wield a foil parry, I'm still in contact with some of the team. If sport isn't your thing, what about popping down to your library and seeing what's on offer, or local community centre.there maybe some theatre groups, if you don't like the idea of being on stage how about the engineering / back stage stuff, or do you sing or play an instrument? Could you join a local choir or folk / jazz group?
It's very easy to get into a negative headspace, and it takes considerable energy to pull yourself out...and it's easy to lack energy when everything has gone to mould!
But you can change it. So baby step of what do you want to change first? Your job? Where you live? Improving your energy levels? Meeting new people?

Ps you are absolutely not a failure, just a bit stuck, where it's difficult to see the wood for the trees.