Husband to make an effort without needing to be told?

[Needadvice1981]

Long story short, have been married in the teens of years, now have two children. Husband has busy, at times stressful job. I’m career changing and retraining, which also takes a huge amount of time. Little help from family.
Tried to connect with hubby today regarding making more effort and making more romantic gestures as I feel totally fed up. He doesn’t engage in much conversation. I bring up the conversation again, without much joy. Later on that evening I bring it up AGAIN, with the outcome being that I need to tell him give him advice on what to do.

AIBU to expect my husband to make the occasional gesture without having being told what to do and without being accused of being difficult?

I'd tell him/give him advice once, as in chat through what you'd appreciate and what he'd appreciate etc. But he shouldn't need you to spell it out every time!

He doesn't want to make an effort he wants you to give him the wife appliance cheat sheet code so he can press the buttons needed and get you to shut up.

YANBU

“Making an effort” is a nebulous request. What looks like effort to him may not look like effort to you. You are expecting him to read your mind. It’s completely unreasonable.
Nobody is asking you to direct him every time but at least give him an indication of what you mean by “making effort”. You are making it much harder than it needs to be.