Paying into joint account

[Garlicnaan]

AIBU to expect DH to pay into joint account in a timely way e.g. within a week or so of pay day?

We pay our monthly salary into the joint account and then transfer from there into savings, plus pay bills of course.

In previous years we had most of our joint money in a current account and just paid into that, we had a buffer of several thousand pounds so if we took several months to pay in it didn't really matter.

But now, we've got a good rate on our joint savings account so I would like to transfer more into there and just leave a small buffer in our current account which makes no interest. I don't think he makes any decent interest on money in his own current account. Also, we've gone overdrawn once and may again if he doesn't pay in.

I've asked him twice already to pay in this month and he still hasn't. AIBU to be irritated or do I just need to chill out (and make him pay if we go overdrawn)?

Of course you’re not unreasonable. We have standing orders to transfer the money immediately on our respective pay days.

Why not just both set up a standing order so that it goes in automatically?

Set up a standing order for him

No idea why this is an ongoing issue when you can just have a standing order.

Why would you both do this manually instead of a standing order?

We don't do a standing order, as quite often there are amounts to deduct or add as we've paid for joint things on our personal accounts (or vice versa) for numerous reasons, and this needs taking into account.

So pay the normal amount and transfer the difference back. More reliable than your current method.

This seems to make it rather more complicated than necessary. Can’t you use the joint account / a joint credit card for anything joint.

And would mean you just set up a SO

I'll suggest this to DH, but I don't think he'll like itn because it could leave him out of pocket. We don't leave ourselves with much fun money and he has no buffer in his personal account. I can't force him to do it.

It takes 60 seconds to login to online banking and transfer it. I don't mind doing that once a month. I'm getting bored of nagging him

If he can’t do it timely then he has to have a SO on payday for the full pay to the joint account and the extra can be transferred back.

Bet he’s quick enough then.

Why should he be allowed to feck your credit too!

Standing order or marching orders, his choice

Well we do that usually. There are some occasions when we might do a shop and some of it be personal and the rest of it joint eg online shop for both children and adults things. Or one of us has used a personal card for a joint cost abroad because we don't get charged for it. A few months a year, there's bonuses etc. Occasionally a card won't work etc so we use the other one. It's not every day, but it's pretty much every month.

Even a week seems excessive.. we do it the day we get paid, or the day after.

Decide a set amount you both transfer by standing order that’s enough to cover any joint things that might’ve come out of personal accounts, then pay for all of these things from the joint account.

This avoids either of you manually transferring the money and having to do any adjustments as well.

Does it matter that much?

You’re married, you have children together.

Perhaps you could transfer a bit of the buffer back and he can reimburse you for the lost interest.

Well I just mentioned that he'd not transferred the last pay and suggested maybe he did a standing order. He got really defensive and annoyed. Said he felt attacked. But he's going to set one up. Stormed off to do so.

I offered this as an option (not the interest bit)

He seemed annoyed that I want to maximize interest - for us both. He says I did a complete 180 on finances, going from disinterest to being really on it (this is true) but why is it making him angry?!

Not really, no. I think we try to keep our personal spends personal and fair though and don't want to feel like we can't buy anything because the other might not have spent so much etc so we do want our own personal funds.

Attacked? How ridiculous, he just needs to transfer the money and if he did it straight away it wouldn’t even need to be a conversation!

This is odd, it makes no sense for him to be annoyed about you wanting to look after your finances! Did he used to sort it before or something?

Did he used to do it and he is angry about "losing" control to you?

It's a complicated month which I think is one reason why he's not done it yet.

No, neither of us were really on it tbh until I realised we were actually losing money when inflation was starting to rocket. He's much more on top of his own finances than me, with various investments, and a much better pension - ironically!