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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just have an effing rant.

56 replies

CyanSnake · 19/08/2024 15:48

i just seriously need to rant before I explode.

My partner died a little over a year ago and I decided I needed a break from the well paid, but very stressful career I was in.

I’ve moved to a related industry and I’m just miserable. I’m paid £32k (much less than I was)

for that I sit on the firms board of directors (but I don’t have a director title), I line manage an entire department and I project manage at present about 4/5 big product projects.

We are not allowed flexible working or hybrid - it “isn’t something the company does” (Unless you’re a member of the family that owns it of course, then you have unlimited early finishes and work from
home as needed)

Since starting this job, I’ve needed to find the money to replace my car as the old one broken down completely, the new one now has a warning light and the my boiler has died and will need replacing. Currently living with no heating or hot water as I simply have no funds. My bank balance is 78p for the next two weeks. The money I’m paying out in the loan for the new car and repairs swallows up basically all my disposable income

I have cancelled my holiday - lost the deposit but couldn’t afford to go on it.

i no longer get a weekly shop delivered. We live off pot noodles and bread, as I am the only one bringing money in.

ex-partner had a lot of debts I have to pay off and I just can’t manage anymore.

all this while my boss (I’m the only one actually qualified to deliver the service the company offers btw… my boss just has the money) has her third sunny foreign holiday and the middle class new kid on the desk opposite moans about having to use of some of the house deposit money to buy tickets for his two weeks across the world (also his third holiday!!)

I grew up quite poor, worked really hard, went to uni, have a masters, saved for the house deposit without any help, I work and work and work and all I have for it is the most basic survival - it’s not a life.

What is point?

thanks for listening.

OP posts:
Azaleahead · 21/08/2024 14:56

so your boss acknowledges you need help - so it’s entirely reasonable and to be expected if you can’t complete all your tasks. They’ll discover that they’re grossly undervaluing the role, and they’ll discover it much quicker if you’re not hiding the issue by going above and beyond for them!

Matildahoney · 21/08/2024 15:00

Why are you paying your ex partners debts? They die with the person. You need to get that sorted out straight away, did he have no life insurance or death in service, or was that not left to you?

jolene7 · 21/08/2024 15:00

Ignore the non-compete, please. They won't spend the money to take it further.

LegoShark · 21/08/2024 15:02

Sorry for the loss of your partner

Can you consolidate your loans, so that you pay less per month & then have more money to live on ?

Please read this info

https://www.gov.uk/options-for-dealing-with-your-debts

Options for dealing with your debts

Alternatives to bankruptcy and the different types of agreements you can make with your creditors.

https://www.gov.uk/options-for-dealing-with-your-debts

JengaCupboard · 21/08/2024 15:13

jolene7 · 21/08/2024 15:00

Ignore the non-compete, please. They won't spend the money to take it further.

Totally agree with this - they are highly, highly unlikely to ever pursue this. It is very popular in my industry and I've only ever known one to be executed - for a very senior member of staff at which point the new employer just paid them off.

They sound like archaic bare minimum employers who expect the world for nothing. Your boss doesn't like discussing pay-rises? That's terribly convenient!!

Get out of there ASAP!

BBKP · 21/08/2024 15:34

CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 14:51

I’m looking for another job but struggling because I’m only qualified in this field, but my contract has a non-compete cause that says I can’t work for a competitor in any capacity.

Non compete clauses are unenforceable- apply to a competitor.

Howmanycatsistoomany · 21/08/2024 15:40

CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 14:51

I’m looking for another job but struggling because I’m only qualified in this field, but my contract has a non-compete cause that says I can’t work for a competitor in any capacity.

wtf?! Very much doubt that's legal.

TheDrunkenClam · 21/08/2024 15:40

@CyanSnake
Don't just drop hints to your boss - tell him/her that you are actively seeking a new role as you are not being adequately paid for the job you are doing. They may not ‘like it’ but what have you got to lose?
And just for comparison, I earned nearly £10k more than that last year in a completely remote, entry level job for an online retailer. You are worth so much more.

longdistanceclaraclara · 21/08/2024 15:42

What does it say in your CL tract about PILON, used to be gardening leave? How much is your notice period?

A year is ridiculous for your salary level.

Why are you responsible for your partners debt?

SunQueen24 · 21/08/2024 15:47

OP I’m sorry for your loss.

You haven’t said why you’re liable for your partners debts?

How much would your role be worth somewhere else? Have you checked you’re not entitled to UC etc?

Also you’ve mentioned a covenant re working someone else - is that paid? It seems quite onerous - have you had it checked out to see if it’s actually enforceable?

Original poster
CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 15:58

I’ve had a quick sweep and my equivalent at a competitor is on £100k… just a team leader is advertised as £40k. I’ve applied.

The clause says, “You undertake not to compete directly or indirectly, whether as director, shareholder, employee, consultant, proprietor or agent or in any other capacity, with that part of the Employer's business with which you were involved as an employee in the 12 months prior to the termination of your employment”

Thats all it says

OP posts:
cupcaske123 · 21/08/2024 16:01

CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 15:58

I’ve had a quick sweep and my equivalent at a competitor is on £100k… just a team leader is advertised as £40k. I’ve applied.

The clause says, “You undertake not to compete directly or indirectly, whether as director, shareholder, employee, consultant, proprietor or agent or in any other capacity, with that part of the Employer's business with which you were involved as an employee in the 12 months prior to the termination of your employment”

Thats all it says

in the 12 months prior to the termination of your employment

Original poster
CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 16:02

So, if I leave I can compete straight away? I assumed it held for an amount of time after I left?

OP posts:
cupcaske123 · 21/08/2024 16:05

CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 16:02

So, if I leave I can compete straight away? I assumed it held for an amount of time after I left?

Apply away OP. There's nothing in your contract saying you can't.

SunQueen24 · 21/08/2024 16:05

cupcaske123 · 21/08/2024 16:01

in the 12 months prior to the termination of your employment

Show quote history

So she’s not allowed to do whatever it is she’s been doing for the company or the 12 months before she leaves.

What does the rest say OP? For what period? It can’t be indefinite.

i would try the legal board - you need someone with an employment law background.

turkeyboots · 21/08/2024 16:14

Non compete clauses rarely stand up in court, particularly if this is your main bread earning skillset. And legal action is tiresome and expensive for a family owned business.

Best of luck with the application.

Original poster
CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 17:08

SunQueen24 · 21/08/2024 16:05

So she’s not allowed to do whatever it is she’s been doing for the company or the 12 months before she leaves.

What does the rest say OP? For what period? It can’t be indefinite.

i would try the legal board - you need someone with an employment law background.

Show quote history

That’s it, that’s all the clause says

OP posts:
SauviGone · 21/08/2024 17:11

Why are you liable for your partners debts?

Why aren’t you answering the question?

Original poster
CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 17:13

SauviGone · 21/08/2024 17:11

Why are you liable for your partners debts?

Why aren’t you answering the question?

Edited

My partner hid a lot from me. Most of the debts are secured against the house or have charging orders on that I didnt know about

OP posts:
Touty · 21/08/2024 17:18

CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 17:13

My partner hid a lot from me. Most of the debts are secured against the house or have charging orders on that I didnt know about

Show quote history

But if this is fraud/criminal activity on his part surely you can’t be liable for the debts? You can challenge these?

endofthelinefinally · 21/08/2024 17:21

Touty · 21/08/2024 17:18

But if this is fraud/criminal activity on his part surely you can’t be liable for the debts? You can challenge these?

Show quote history

I was coming on to say this. You need legal advice regarding his debts.

Original poster
CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 17:23

Yes, I just took what was told to me as gospel because I was still in shock and didn’t want to lose the house.

i will seek advice from some of the orgs given in this thread

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 21/08/2024 17:23

Couple of other things OP, are you in a union and does your home insurance include legal advice/ cover? If yes, you could approach both for help.