Husband and getting children ready

[labradoodles24]

Hi I'm wondering if I'm BU here. I work some weekends and often when I come home DC are wearing a mishmash of clothes, often not suitable for the season/weather and sometimes clothes I had them in from the day before. Their hair is often unbrushed or tidied. I also have no problem with clothes that are clean been put away and used again but just putting them on them the next day is a bit lazy.
My husband thinks it is completely acceptable if all they're doing is playing outside or at the most going to the shops or his parents. I think this is laziness from him but he argues the children are 5 and 6 and should be able to get themselves ready (which I agree but I also think they need guidance on suitable clothing/hair brushing)
If there is a party he has to bring them to he can manage perfectly well to bath them, do their hair and get them sorted with clothing. I'm also not expecting him to have their hair styled the way I can as I'm used to doing it but a simple brush and pony tail with some clips I don't think is too much to expect. Aibu here?

Hair should be free of knots and tangles. He doesn’t have to do pony tails and clips unless the children want them or the activity requires hair pulled back

weather appropriate clothing is subjective so it’s hard to rule on that one. As long as children have the ability to add layers or remove them, it doesn’t really matter. This drove me crazy as a child so I try very hard not to impose my own standards on my child and let them adjust to how warm or cold they are. I have the benefit of foresight which they lack so I will strongly advise on base layers on occasion and sometimes bring additional layers on outings, but at home they can always just realize their mistake and fix it.

mismatched or worn once and appropriately reused, I really don’t care. Especially if children are able to get dressed independently, I would rather they get to focus on that skill and embrace self expression.

At 5 and 6, no way my eldest could get himself completely ready with no help. He's just about to turn 7 and only now will voluntarily get dressed (teeth and hair still get forgotten so we have to prompt alot). He also in no way choose weather appropriate clothing and wouldn't change his pants if not prompted from the night before.

Mismatched clothes is a personal preference tho so doesn't bother me. Some of the outfits my DH has put the kids in I look at and wonder what he was thinking.....but he thinks they are entirely fine. As long as the clothes are clean (when put on) I don't really care.

For playing outside or lounging about at home, day-worn clothes seem like a good idea: why bother dirtying another set and having two worn outfits when one will do and can be then put in the wash. If he can and does dress then appropriately for parties and proper outings, I’d not be fussed about what he does the rest of the time.

I am a bit confused about the reusing clothes. You say it is fine to put them away and then reuse if they are clean, but is lazy to put them on the next day. Which is it? Sounds like you will be OK to wear the same outfit on Monday and Wednesday but wearing the same outfit on Monday and Tuesday is lazy. Doesn't make any sense to me.
If they are only playing outside and going on a quick shop trip, I see no point putting them in their Sunday best. Seems like a win-win. Kids are dressed and family has less laundry.

I don't think I could be bothered to get annoyed about this, as long as the clothes weren't dirty and hair wasn't knotted. As you say he can get them ready properly if he needs to but for at home/grans/popping to the shops does it really matter..? He's saving on laundry too reusing clothes!

He's being lazy then making you out to be unreasonable in order to justify his laziness.

Minimum standard would be brushed hair, brushed teeth, clean and wearing weather-appropriate clothes. It ain't rocket science.

I also have no problem with clothes that are clean been put away and used again but just putting them on them the next day is a bit lazy.

I don't know what you mean here - what's the difference between putting worn clothes away and wearing them again later, and just wearing them the next day?

My husband thinks it is completely acceptable if all they're doing is playing outside or at the most going to the shops or his parents.

I 100% agree with him provided the clothing isn't completely inappropriate for the weather.

a simple brush and pony tail with some clips I don't think is too much to expect.

Brushing - yes. But why do they need a ponytail with clips every day? I don't do this with my DDs.

Everyone has different standards op, your husband is clearly fine with doing things his way. However, this would bother me. There's nothing difficult about brushing hair, tying it up and selecting clean appropriate clothing.

Aren't dirty clothes already in the washing bin? Is he letting them get them out again?
Teeth and hair a must. Yesterday's clean clothes fine and they already match.
You could ask kids to choose outfit day before to put on if he's going out.

Very different experience with my 7 (nearly 8) year old. He's been able to get himself ready since he was 5. Face washed, teeth brushed, hair brushed, clothes on. He's also been able to choose weather appropriate clothes since he was 6 and shower unprompted in the evenings and wash himself independently, definitely not repeating dirty underwear.
Yeah we do still need to sometimes remind him to bring a jacket in case/because the weather changes but he's perfectly capable of looking outside and choosing shorts or joggers.

I'm team husband. He thinks what he is doing is fine (and it sounds fine to me) - why should your judgement trump his? He is just as entitled to decide what the kids where as you are. You sound quite nitpicky and critical.

Yes, this is laziness.

If your children have long hair, it will be difficult to get it tangle free if left a few days.

Of course that's not his problem though, is it, since you will probably be the one dealing with it and the children will be the ones squealing as you tug a brush through the knots.

The clothes - meh. That falls under the heading of natural consequences for me in summer. In colder seasons it would be unacceptable to allow children to choose their own outfits with no regard for the weather.

I'd ask him to at least consider the children's comfort.

We frequently rewear clothes 2 days in a row and don’t brush hair. I have bigger fish to fry than get worked up about this.

I feel the same as your husband here. If we're having a lazy day at home or garden I'm lucky if my 4 year old son will get dressed at all. Then he'll get dressed himself (which will inevitably be a mismatch of clothes). Of course if we're going to a party he knows he needs to choose something from his smarter clothes. Or if it's a nursery day he needs his uniform. But I tend to think if it's not important what he wears then he can choose what he likes. I agree of they have long hair it needs to be brushed in the morning, my daughter is only 2 so we are not yet in the stage of needing to do her hair much.