To be ungrateful about too many breaks

[Sallyball]

I am in the lucky position whereby we can afford regular breaks but I am finding the constant ‘going’ exhausting.

Over the next 6 weeks I am taking my mother on a European city break, going on a long weekend to the south of France with DH and friends and spending a few days with wider family group on the coast.

All I want to do is spend the rest of the year in a routine in my home and I am sick of the cost.

I also travel sometimes with work so will likely have 2-3 trips before Xmas

Do I need to give myself a shake for resenting what my mother and many others would have loved to have been able to do ?

None of these things just “happen” to you, though: at some point you said “yes, that sounds lovely.” If you don’t really enjoy any of it then take this year as a lesson learned and next year just practice saying “no thank-you, I’m looking forward to some quiet time, have fun” more often. Totally the norm among my friends, sometimes we get both halves of a couple for a group holiday or outing, sometimes just one half.

Send me your tickets, I'm trying to save up for a trip away 😬

Short breaks are often quite tiring as you spend as long prepping, travelling, washing almost as you do there and enjoying yourself, could you go less frequently but for longer?

You're resenting your own actions so change them.

I hate travel too. I refuse to travel for work anymore. I’ve been to great places with work and stayed in Leading hotels of the world but I hate travel and actually getting somewhere and getting back again. So no more. Family holidays I keep to a minimum too. Mind you, all of us go away individually as well with friends/groups but every other year and not every year. But yeah, I understand. You do need to change your behaviours.

I hate travel too. I'm not in a position to be going away with work or on holiday at the moment so I just don't travel but you are an active participant in this travel. You could just say no.

Presumably you're the one booking them, or at least agreeing to them?

Just stop?

It’s within your gift to change your behaviour so do so. Pretty simple really. Stay in your house instead of going away? Problem solved..

Just stop booking trips? Is someone forcing you to go ?

You don't need to be thankful for things you don't want. Just stop planning breaks or just say no if other people are planing them.

Are you being forced?

Practice saying no.

I can't relate, id kill for a weekend away somewhere.

You don't have to do these things. Tell husband you don't fancy France so he can go on his own and you'll decompress at home. Or suck up this year and tell them that next year you're going nowhere and not to ask.

Stop booking them or agreeing to go? Surely it's that simple...

Unless someone is forcing you on the plane at gun point YABU. Obviously I imagine work is pretty much essential but you decided to do the other breaks- learn from this for next year.

I get where you're coming from OP. I love travelling... in the sense that I like being in places that are not the UK, seeing and eating and learning new things about the world. When I was young and broke I dreamed about the days when I could do all that without worrying about how much it cost. When those days arrived I realised that while I still love all those bits of travel, I hate every logistical element of it - the booking, the flying, the fucking airports, the lack of routine (specifically my morning routine). And while a lot of it is exciting and enjoyable, nothing about travelling is actually relaxing. I need to sleep for a week at home to recharge after every holiday I go on!

Something that leapt out is that all your holidays seem to be other people's holidays. You're taking your mum, you're going with your husband and his friends, you're going to a family get-together (and then you're going on work trips). You're not getting the chance to step back, think about what you like about travel and what stresses you out, and then to customise your holiday to maximise your own enjoyment. I've learned only to travel in the manner I actually enjoy - this isn't necessarily going high-end or luxury but about opting for shorter breaks over longer ones, opting for apartments over hotels etc.

I've found this to be very true. Went away for 3 days recently and the preparation needed beforehand, I should have been away for longer