Hi
afrer a period of respite where my Ds stayed with his paternal family, they took me to court, lied and it’s genuinely true that a huge miscarriage of justice has happened.
In a side note my health turned out not to be real, but a manifestation of dv. I’m in touch with a specialist police woman & awaiting next steps once I get my ‘proof’ via the GP we look at options
My MP had taken my case on with the LA because they refuse to investigate the lies etc and letting us down. That’s an aside.
I need to initiate court and I’m petrified. I have nothing to lose so far, as they refuse to allow me proper access over the last 10 months despite making Oscar worthy performance they would to the judge, when I was ‘well’. I knew they wouldn’t and I was right. MIL got PR as dad isn’t capable on his own merits. He’s nowhere to be seen so it’s her who is calling the shots. Abusing her position by:
*unless I did a zoom on Xmas day, alone, I couldn’t wish my ds a happy birthday.
- she was ‘too busy’ for me to wish ds a happy birthday despite ds being upset about me not being invited to his party (he’s 7)
- insisting I remain supervised despite being a safe parent because of fears I will ‘say something’ to DS
- refusing me to join a weekly family zoom with my side of the family with ds
- family visited from France. Refused for me to join an activity with ds and my folks
- refused to allow me to go with folks and ds for a meal out
- refuses to allow me to take ds swimming eventually when im ‘allowed’ to be alone with him incase it ‘prejudices’ his swimming lessons
- refuses to consider or feedback on a slow paced plan for getting to EOW / half holidays etc I put forward in February
- insists on a hygiene inspection before i am allowed ds to visit
- not allowed to refer to his home (mine) as his home
- refuses me to attend school events
- changed contact on Gp so I’ve had to do a SARS to access ds records
- changed his dentist
- allows me 3 hours a week
- obtained passport without consent nor original one o have, going abroad with ds and didn’t ask or tell me
- no idea what plans for contact going forwards will look like when ss close
- refuses to allow handovers to be done by anyone or in any other way than direct to him/her despite extensive dv records, my IDVA input, in short if I don’t directly handle him : her and show ds daddy, grandma and mummy aren’t enemies then contact will continue to be obstructed
- once I was late bringing ds back (recently have had a few unsupervised) first and only time due to bus breaking down and so I Uber back asap, late by half hour, said if I am late again for any reason at all no progression to more time or to sleepovers and I’ll be forced to return to supervise in contact centre again to correct my ‘time keeping’
- forces me to pay supervisors fee of £50 until I agree direct handovers.
- brought ds clothing he asked for from home and toys in black bin bags left in contact centre room
- reported ds said he missed ‘licking and sucking’ my breasts as I breastfed him natural term. Something id never say! Vile.
im no risk, no criminal record, MH, drugs and so on. I became physically ill from psychological and the rest impact of dv which I now have concrete evidence for. I can’t risk being made unwell as I have made huge strides with therapy and dv recovery programmes.
I fear I’ll never see ds when scrutiny of ss is closed soon. Ds is desperate to come home. I am initiating court for a contact order but given I am recovered im asking for a phased return home and revert back to prev child arrangement order lives with me, eow to him.
the minute i do this, the abuse will ramp up. Dont ask me why the sw ignores the extensive police reports, IDVA, MARACS held, advocacy and other professionals but they do. When I complain I get immediately closed. It makes zero sense.
is it abuse? Or are they just overly concerned?
I ask sw what have I done for them to behave this way, give me examples, evidence of me behaving badly, maybe I can change if I know what it is I have done wrong to make them seemingly despise me?
I feel from my recovery course this is an extension of abuse but I’m terrified of court given what happened before. He’s a very dominating man as is she and it’s easy to make me look unstable.
Somehow whatever comes out of their mouth is taken as gospel despite evidence to contrary and I haven’t got a clue now that can be taken over and above other professionals in my camp, and obviously damn evidence!
Didn’t meet CAFCASS either!! It’s unheard of, say other sw who have stepped in after witnessing first hand the baffling behaviour of the named sw.
to me this is about power and control ergo abuse. I wonder if a new judge would make a different decision given he had not been given the evidence or opportunity to hear from me or my witnesses, clinicians and other professionals like health visitors etc?
AIBU to hope that someone who can make decisions on our ds will consider that there has been a huge mistake / cover up?
im hoping my MP will find some answers as to why decisions were taken on hearsay and why huge claims are made, evidenced to say the opposite yet they’re still relied upon? It’s terrifying how men like this can command sw and a judge. Any advice would be welcome. I need to pull my big girl pants up and fight but I can’t tell you how gaslit I feel and how scared I am of repurcussions.
help!