To suspect my neighbour killed my cat

[Mani2024]

Three years ago we moved to our new house. Day one we met one of our neighbours and he asks whether we have a cat because he hates them. We didn’t at that point but we had planned to get one as we and our children really wanted one. neighbour begged us not too even though there are many many cat in the area. We reluctantly agreed to keep the peace but after a terrible year with lots of heartache we decided it was non of his business and got two kittens.

When he found out we had cats he made a passive aggressive comment to my six year old child about how one of the cats in particular had been in his garden and on his bird table. Some months later I heard our cats squealing. I thought they found themselves in a fight with another cat so called out to stop it but turned out to be my neighbour doing something to them to get them out of his garden. He said they were stalking his bird house.

We tried to settle things down with him, said feel free to spray them with water if they come over, we would look into a fence with a slope and if they ever mess in his garden (which they doubt they had as they still used litter trays) he could put over the fence with a spade. That conversation went well but he did say he’d killed a cat previously because it had chased a bird and that the killing had been unintentional.

fast forward some weeks and one of our kittens was found at the end of the road dead in the road with a sever head injury. This is the cat that both neighbours had said was the main culprit of jumping on their bird tables. Initially I was extremely upset and couldn’t think clearly but after a week or so I remembered that morning I had heard a cat scream that was worse than you would usually hear and had looked out my window to see what was going on. My husband saw my neighbour around that time walking up the road away from where she was later found and when asked what he was up to today said he was going for a long walk. I saw the neighbour in his garden briefly a week later, when our eyes met he went straight back into his house which is unusual as he usually chats to me. Generally he has been quite friendly apart from the issue with the cats.

i have spoken to my husband and a few friends about this and generally the consensus is that I’m overthinking and that this theory is just generally wild. Im
absolutely convinced he killed her and placed her at the end of the road to make it look like she got run over. Then again, I’m so desperately upset by it all that I’m not sure if the grief is clouding my judgement

Try to keep the other cat inside. Best for everyone and everything, including the cat. Just have it as a house cat.

He probably did do it but impossible to prove. I'm sorry this happened.

From what you say, it's a definite possibility.

My childhood cat was killed by a disgruntled neighbour. He was breeding koi and my cat had eaten one of them ☹️ sad all round but the neighbour had no right to kill him.

I agree about the catio tbh. Whatever the rights and wrongs if you let your cat roam where you know they are actively not welcome you take some risk. My dog hates cats- he is secured in my back yard but if a cat came in it would need to run faster than him! I get that cats roam but he was very clear on his position, however disgusting it is

What was he doing to get them out of his garden which caused them such distress? I think at that point I’d have made them house cats and reported him for animal cruelty depending on his actions.

My neighbours dislike cats but fully accept mine as the menace she is and do get some laughs from her crazy antics.

Whilst I’m very sorry for your loss and it’s incredibly cruel to kill an animal, no matter how frustrating they might be (I couldn’t kill a mouse, or a bug for example) there IS a grain of truth in this post.

Many people lose cats to cars; poisoning; diseases like FIP etc and they are devastated when this happens. It is well known that outdoor cats are much more likely to be killed by the age of 4 years than cats kept indoors.

To protect her cat, op could cat proof her garden and keep the animal much much safer.

If the dead cat was killed by the neighbour, I hate to think of the suffering it would have gone through. Now op knows that this is a possibility, cat proofing the garden could be a wise idea going forward. Some brackets and netting at an angle into the garden should work.

A long time ago, one of our neighbours used to let their rabbit roam free in the garden. One day, a different neighbour found it under their dining table, where one of their cats was gnawing on its head, poor thing. An awful end for the bunny, but quite clearly a bad idea in the first instance. Cat neighbour had to lie to the rabbit family who came around door to door looking for their pet. No way she could hand it back over.

So whilst I don’t blame op for her cats sad end, she could use the advice posting to prevent it happening again.

To the point, and very necessary.

No nastiness, unless asking people to think about the effect of their choice of pet affects their neighbourhood is nasty.

And not unnecessary, since some posters don't take this into account.

I have been as distressed as the OP at times over the nasty deaths inflicted by cats on animals and birds in my garden

He told you he's killed a cat before (I know he said unintentionally but...who knows)
Does he live with anyone? Do you know much else about him?
Huge links between those who're cruel to/those who kill animals & perpetrators of violent crimes against other humans.
I would definitely speak to the police, he may have been convicted of similar in the past.
Not saying he killed your cat but it seems extremely possible.
I'm really sorry for your loss

@toomanydiets clear that he disliked cats yes but cat murdering didn’t come to mind as a potential consequence. We love/loved our cats so much we of course would not have got them knowing he would do this, thinking about them coming to harm/having experienced harm leaves me with physical pain.

We are doing everything we can to keep our other cat safe now but the post is really more about whether AMBU to suspect this

You probably won't have been as distressed as the OP. They weren't your pets and they weren't killed deliberately and knowingly by a human being.

You aren’t unreasonable to suspect it, but to be fair, it’s also quite possible the cat was hit by a car when running into the road.

I live in a quiet little area and I’ve had to break to avoid cats plenty of times.

nah, it’s not crazy to ask about the ring doorbells, and in my opinion, not overthinking. If he did it he’s committed a crime. Of course, you can’t prove it but his behaviour sounds fishy and he admitted he’d already killed a cat which indicates to me he is an absolute arsehole. How do you unintentionally kill a cat? I’d be thinking about keeping my cat in (and weed-killing CUNT into his grass)

Get the ring doorbell footage asap. Get a tracker for your other cat. Don't use an airtag as it'll only show you where your cat is now. You need one that shows the history too so if anything happens you can confirm if the cat was in the neighbours garden recently or not. Cctv around your house too. You can get inexpensive cameras from amazon now that you sit on the window sill and point outwards. Ring doorbell or similar. Those are the things I'd start with.

Crazy how many ppl here are skirting over the fact this man has previously 'accidentally' killed a cat & very much looks like he did, indeed, kill this one cos..it was irritating him? We just ignore what he's likely done cos cats can be a PITA?

It is NOT NORMAL to kill things just cos you don't like them. It's psychotic ffs. And he (possibly...) did it himself, physically interacted with & slaughtered a cat. Not poisoned, not from a distance. He killed it with his hands/a tool.

Arguments about indoor vs outdoor are one thing but to excusing an adult man for killing a cat?!

Jfc

OP - if you move (I would) then get your cat a harness & a long lead you can anchor. That way it can't leave your garden. It's 100% not worth the risk.

@Rhaidimiddim

Is it too much for you to have some compassion?

Cats are entitled to be free roaming, I get that not everyone likes cats & some get quite uptight about their pooing in their garden or chasing/killing wildlife, I'm not keen on that aspect myself. But they are entitled to be as free roaming as foxes, so it is, what it is.

I hate cats. I try really hard to attract wildlife and particularly enjoying watching the birds, so I find it quite upsetting when cats come into my garden to kill them.

I am also tired of them pooing in my flower bed, noisily fighting at night and sometimes shredding bin bags.

Surely they are the only pet where it is ok to let them roam and be destructive in other people's gardens.

Owners get very upset if their pet cat is lost or hurt, and that is how some of us feel when we find dead birds.

But I'd never kill one and know I have no right to ask neighbours not to buy them. Therefore, based on what you've said, YANBU to suspect your neighbour. But I doubt you'll be able to prove anything.

I understand that you think that may have happened, but by the sounds of it, your cat has been in multiple gardens harassing birds, not just this neighbours, and was found down the street? They could have been hit by a car. Maybe get the fence sorted so the other kitten can't get out, and then you'll know it's safe if you keep it in your own garden. It's horrible when you lose a pet.

@Jackolanterny

Did you enjoy being that graphic? Absolutely no need.

This. Also, years and years ago I remember I heard a cat screaming outside. It sounded horrific (and as you said in your opening post, not normal sounding at all) I absolutely adore animals and to this day I still wonder what happened. (Your post just triggered that memory) If I could have gone out to check I would have done but the noise was coming from neighbourhood gardens. Please take care of your other cat and yourselves. This person sounds dangerous.

quite a few people kill cats, they see them as vermin. Disgusting People

@Bigdipper so yes there are a few other things about this chap that I won’t go into here but they have been subtle signs that he is not a good person. Obviously I never anticipated this might happen otherwise I would never have got an outdoor cat but now that it’s happened it has made me reflect on things that have come up over the last three years

I’d move couldn’t live next to someone like that. You have to be serious unhinged to kill someone’s pet.

Maybe speak to the police- yes you won’t have evidence but they can chat to him and put the fear of god into him

That's not going to happen. The OP has no evidence whatsoever that her cats death was a crime let alone carried out by the neighbour.

You need to pluck up the courage and ask for that door bell footage. It'll hopefully give you your answer.

My DH isn't keen on cats shitting in our front garden, but he'd never hurt one of them. I can't process why anyone would - fucking deranged?

I don't have cats, but if I did and I found concrete evidence that my neighbour had killed the cat, then i'd become deranged and their life wouldn't be worth living. It wouldn't be a 'neighbour's from hell' type scenario, but it wouldn't last that long.

*because it wouldn't last that long.

I'm so sorry OP, I hope you get to the bottom of this. It's awful losing a pet but to think that they might have been killed by your neighbor is awful 😔