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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you take the first step with this man or leave it be?

35 replies

Purelybecause · 18/08/2024 17:38

I have been single for a couple of years now (briefly dated). Anyway, there is someone on my social media that I am hugely attracted to and he reacts/likes my photos (the ones of just me) which has given me the idea that he may be interested too (he has made it obvious that he has gone through my photos and reacted/ liked a handful) and I was slightly expecting him to send me a message - he has not. We have never met before and live around 2hrs away. It is not often that I am this much attracted to someone as I am to him, he is just my type all over.
He is single as I have stalked gone through his social media.
Would you:

Take the step and send him message?
If so, what?

Or

Just leave it, if he was interested he would let you know?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Mmmkaay · 18/08/2024 17:39

Nothing ventured and all that - although if you have never met him how do you know he's your type?

MyNewNewlife · 18/08/2024 17:41

I'd probably say 'hi, thanks for the likes' and leave it there, just let's him know you are open to talk. I wouldn't say anything else though unless he redponded.

Aquamarine1029 · 18/08/2024 17:46

Anyway, there is someone on my social media that I am hugely attracted to

You don't know him, have never met him, it appears you've never even talked or text with him, yet you claim you're "hugely attracted" to him. How can that be? Perhaps you're interested, but real attraction comes from actually knowing someone.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Reach out and see how it goes.

Purelybecause · 18/08/2024 17:55

I understand that I have not met him in person but I am taking looks wise - he is definitely my type. Yes things might change if I got to know him in person but I doubt it.

I have people who I know are interested etc but I am not attracted to them but with him I do feel hugely attracted to him (looks wise and what I've seen on his social media). Like I say this is unusual for me.

OP posts:
Purelybecause · 18/08/2024 17:56

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Reach out and see how it goes

What would you say?

OP posts:
SauviGone · 18/08/2024 18:06

How has he ended up as your Facebook friend or whatever on social media, if you’ve never met him and don’t know him?

How do you know he is the person in his profile picture?

Even if he is the person he claims to be on his profile, he probably does this to 100’s of women to see who bites.

Sounds like the start of some kind of scam to me. Don’t send him any money.

Gwenhwyfar · 18/08/2024 18:15

No, because 2 hours away is too much for me.

MeAgainAndAgain · 18/08/2024 18:21

What’s your connection? How did you come to be Facebook friends?

Purelybecause · 18/08/2024 18:26

I know he is genuinely who he is. I don't want to out myself but I will just say that i know of him from a distance before social media friends but have never actually spoken.

OP posts:
Purelybecause · 18/08/2024 19:44

Should I reach out to him or not bother?
If so, what should I say?

OP posts:
Comedycook · 18/08/2024 19:47

I'd put up a status saying something along the lines that you really want to attend a particular event or see a particular film that's coming out...then see if he takes the hint...

MounjaroUser · 18/08/2024 19:50

I understand that I have not met him in person but I am taking looks wise - he is definitely my type. Yes things might change if I got to know him in person but I doubt it.

Honestly, this is just nonsense! You haven't communicated with him in any way - you've no idea whether he's your type or not.

Purelybecause · 18/08/2024 19:55

@MounjaroUser If you actually take the time to read, I said he is my type looks wise.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 18/08/2024 19:55

Oh I misread...I thought you had met him. If you haven't, then no I wouldn't do anything. I don't think you can tell without meeting someone whether they're your type or not.

MelodyMalone · 18/08/2024 20:27

You could send a casual "hi, how are you?" type message. I don't see any harm in that. You have already interacted in that he's liked your pics, etc, so it's not entirely out of the blue. Start a conversation and see where it goes. Maybe nowhere, but you never know.

But I don't really use social media so what do I know 😆

Psychoticbreak · 18/08/2024 20:35

I cannot imagine being attracted to someone I have never met and I mean that as in I don't even like celebs etc but if you are 100% sure he is single then sure you may as well message him. Nothing to lose if you have never met him before. How long have you been connected on sm though? I mean he may have only just come out of a relationship and is 'liking' loads of womens pics to see if he can find someone to message him. I am sceptical of men who go around liking/loving pics of women they do not know online.

Purelybecause · 18/08/2024 21:26

I cannot imagine being attracted to someone I have never met

I am surprised by this. I can feel sexual attraction by someone's appearance, albeit not often.
We have been friends on social media for a while but I've just recently really paid attention to him. He doesn't post much but I have started watching his stories and realised how attracted I am to him. He must have noticed that I've been watching his stories.
He has been single for a few years as far as I could see/read.

What would you message him @Psychoticbreak

OP posts:
Psychoticbreak · 18/08/2024 21:29

Well considering my recent ex pretended to be single the entire years of our relationship on sm i am not the one to ask - i might start with 'have you a big bank account and a weak heart'? but I would be being serious lol I am all out of the romance at this point but sure maybe comment on one of his stories?

MeAgainAndAgain · 18/08/2024 22:03

You haven’t said what your connection is, if any. Is he your window cleaner’s cousin? Is he someone who used to belong in the same chess club? That makes a huge difference to how I would approach it.

Purelybecause · 18/08/2024 23:29

I've come up with a little plan/test. I've put a couple of nice photos on my story. If he is interested then I'm sure he will view/comment/react. I'm going to feel it out that way first.

OP posts:
jannier · 19/08/2024 09:24

Isn't this like a crush?

MelodyMalone · 19/08/2024 09:32

Purelybecause · 18/08/2024 23:29

I've come up with a little plan/test. I've put a couple of nice photos on my story. If he is interested then I'm sure he will view/comment/react. I'm going to feel it out that way first.

Good luck.

MeAgainAndAgain · 19/08/2024 12:54

jannier · 19/08/2024 09:24

Isn't this like a crush?

Yes, and it’s all seeming a little silly now. She doesn’t seem to want to answer any reasonable questions, but just wants to talk about it.

OP, crack on with your ‘little plan/test’.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 19/08/2024 12:56

Just respond to one of his stories with a message, like if he's out paddle boarding then message how you'd love to try this, is it really hard? Or etc etc

jannier · 19/08/2024 13:02

Ops on school holiday

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