Man I’m dating asked for a break/time to think and now is mad I am on dating apps?

[kuanggg]

I was dating him for 3 months and then he said last week that he thinks we’re moving very quickly and he needs time to think things through properly. He didn’t give a timeline or anything and in my mind, that’s a line you use when you really want to break up with someone but don’t have the balls to actually do it. I said okay and I would think about what I wanted too. He’s not contacted me this week at all.

we have some history and dated two years ago for around 6 months and he ended things in the same way then.

Ive redownloaded Hinge and have been speaking to a few people on there. I got a text from guy I was dating today with a screenshot of the profile saying “my brother sent me this, wtf?? Seriously??”

did I do something wrong?

Send him back a laughing emoji and then block him. If he really liked you, you would be together. Are you sleeping with him? If you are then you’re his back up sex buddy.

He doesn't want you, but doesn't want you to have anyone else!

And he found you, not the brother. He was wanting to keep you warm, while he looked for something 'better'.

His "brother" saw it 😂

He's obviously set up a new profile himself so he can look at who else is out there and expected you to just sit around waiting for him. What a joker!

Classic I don’t want you but I don’t want anyone else to have you either behaviour. Either that or he’s playing some sort of game hoping you’ll start begging for him back or testing if he’s got you hooked enough to start showing his true colours.

Whichever of these it is, throw the whole man away!

This is a good message to send him.

No
He doesn't want you and don't want anyone else to have you.
Tell him you made his mine up for him.

But is there any relationship when you’ve not communicated for a week really? Is it that I should just wait for him to get in touch (whenever that might be!). “Too fast” means I don’t want to be serious right?

Awwww sounds like you’ve bruised his ickle man ego OP!
He either wasn’t interested in you, or he was but he pretended not to be to get you to chase him and his plan backfired.
Either way, fuck him. You’ve done nothing wrong

.

Oh yeah, his brother found it. 😆

Not necessarily – it can just mean more commitment sooner than you’re comfortable with. I had a boyfriend who I was very serious about but who wanted to exchange I love yous within weeks (and tried to badger me into saying it), was ready to move in together immediately, was just – too much too fast.

This is an extreme (true) example, but I expect everyone’s got their own pace they feel comfortable at.

I would try not to assume ‘X means Y’ all the time as your code might be someone else expressing themselves honestly.

‘Sorry, perhaps I’ve misunderstood. You told me that you needed some time to yourself as we were moving too fast? I know you didn’t mean that you wanted me to stay single while you made up your mind whether you wanted to be with me or not, because not even the most outrageously entitled arse would be expecting anything so ridiculous, so I’m not really sure what you’re upset about?’

Or, you could just send him a link to that song by the Beautiful South, ‘Need a Little Time’? Tell him to pay particular attention to the bit the woman sings. Then block him.

He is trying to hedge his bets - you have done nothing wrong OP

This.

Genius!

What a muppet. Was he hoping to reserve you while he pursued other options?

"You said you wanted to go on a break, Gareth. What did you want me to do, sit at home and knit?!"

You need to take control of your life & when he said he wanted a break you should have said "no that's fine, we dont need a break we can just finish it now".

Even though you think you're on a break & doing the sensible thing, in his mind (and maybe in yours too) he thinks you 2 will be getting back together.

You can end it yourself so there is no need for him to get pissy with you.

Expect better!

His brother saw it, yeah right. Into the sea with him. He's totally hedging his bets!.

Tell him yes and you've had more luck this time. Then block him.

Absolutely not, he wants his cake and to eat it. To have you on standby just for when or if he decides to try and lure you back in. He's done this on you twice, don't give him the 3rd opportunity to do it.

Of course you did something wrong. You were meant to realise that he is the centre of the universe, and wait patiently for him to decide if there was anyone better out there. How dare you just move on and not collapse into a sobbing heap.

Fantastic reply!

But is there any relationship when you’ve not communicated for a week really? Is it that I should just wait for him to get in touch (whenever that might be!). “Too fast” means I don’t want to be serious right?

"Too fast" means I want to see who/what else is out there and if there's anything better, but I want to keep you on the back burner in case there isn't. (Or in case they're not interested.)

And then I'll do it again next time I get itchy dick fingers.

“I’m sorry your ‘brother’ was upset to see me in a dating app. Perhaps you and he could have a think about what ‘time apart’ means. I wish you all the best for the future.”

And block.