to get nails done for the first time and ask them not to touch cuticles? Squeamish.

[lissom]

I'm in late 40s and have never had a manicure or pedicure, but was thinking it might be nice at some point! My daughter always pushes back her cuticles using a stick and said that they will do this at nail salons. This makes me feel really nervous as I would absolutely hate that. I can't bear to watch my daughter doing it. I don't want them pushing the cuticles, just to varnish the nails or whatever. Same for toes - surely to heaven they don't mess with your TOE CUTICLES?? In any case AIBU to just ask them not to touch cuticles or it is such an expected thing that they will not do it/laugh at me, in which case I would just not risk booking it. Any advice appreciated.

Yes tell them. They won't mind. Not to horrify you even more, but usually they cut them too... so you definitely won't want that! I let them do it but I cringe till its done!!

Your manicure will look shit if they don’t do your cuticles. Grit your teeth and let them do their job properly. It takes minutes but will be worth it!

Thanks @Mybeltsblue , hmm, I think I'd be ok with them cutting them, just that pushing back the cuticles feels like such a gross idea and surely can't be healthy, we have cuticles for a reason!

@Leafygreen84 I don't mind it not looking perfect, I just want the nails to be properly shaped and varnished so it doesn't come off after 5 minutes. Re pedicure, please confirm they don't touch the cuticles for that!!!

Make sure you don't get talked into acrylics as they ruined my nails for about 6 months as they file down the nail bed!

They push and cut for a pedi as well. But they will happily leave them alone if requested. Go get it done and enjoy your pretty nails and toes!

I haven't ever had a manicure but I have seen this concept mentioned. I genuinely don't understand it - surely my cuticles are there to cover the gap between nail and skin and reduce the risk of infection?

As you will see from this image my nails definitely aren't winning any prizes but I genuinely don't understand what anyone would even be able to do to my cuticles anyway?

Definitely just ask them! Although I do find cuticle prep and maintenance definitely makes my nails look neater and last longer. My mum is similar though and refuses, the nail tech doesn't mind - she just skips the step!

No they don't!
I never have my cuticles done and have my nails done every 3/4 weeks, I do however push them back when I have a shower bath every day so my nails always look good.

@Ineffable23 , if they do it the way my daughter does it, they literally kind of gouge along them with a pointy stick until there's a little gap between the finger and the nail. This is what terrifies me, it looks like mediaeval torture. But good to hear from others that it is 'usual' on the part of some to not get the cuticles done.

OK I think I will go in and talk to them and check first. What a coward, after 2 kids with no pain relief, but somehow these things gross me out, and unlike cervical smear there's no actual need to have it.

Just ask for nail polish to be put on without a manicure.

You will end up with nice nails and they will probably file them to a shape of your choice, round or pointed.

But they absolutely do not have to push your cuticles back

I hate having mine pushed too but for some reason am totally fine with them being cut.
OP, I’ve found walk in nail bars tend to totally ignore my cuticles anyway. They want customers in and out asap.

You need to understand the difference between what the cuticle is and what you are referring to which is the proximal fold. Hopefully this video shows you cleaning up the cuticle area does not remove the proximal fold which is the strip of "skin" you sometimes see cut off.

https://youtube.com/shorts/0UA-Tclmnl8?si=zU3v2VtVYV7WNJJG

The prospect of anyone doing that sounds horrendous and makes me feel slightly queasy, but clearly it can't be as bad as it sounds or there wouldn't be millions of women getting their nails done every week!

I always push back my cuticle; my nan told me 50 years ago to do it every time I washed my hands.

Just read an eye-opening interview with a doctor who strongly advised against it.

I have no problem with slight pushing and trimming to neaten them but have stopped the more aggressive approach.

To add, though, Op it doesn't hurt or anything when the professionals do it. I hope you enjoy the treatment.

Thanks all! My cuticles are genuinely barely visible anyway, you can't actually even see a strip of skin, and I will just ask them not to do them.

What you are calling cuticle is actually the eponychium. They should be removing the dead skin that grows up the nail plate - that is the true cuticle. That's what stops your polish adhering correctly. The eponychium can be trimmed if very thickened but that's optional.
A well trained nail tech will do this to give you good manicure and to protect the health of your nails. Anyone pushing the eponychium up and off the plate is putting you at risk of infection.
Find a reputable nail tech. Don't go to a nail bar that uses drills etc.

OMG DRILLS????

It is an electric nail file, a teeny bit that removes the dead stuff rather than pushing it back with the orange stick. Maybe watch some videos on youtube by nail technicians.

I’ve been getting BIAB done for the last 5 months and never had my cuticles pushed back, just trimmed,

even a few years ago when I was getting acrylics hey didn’t push the cuticle back only trimmed them.

Same. I do my own cuticles as I don’t want them picking at them. You can do them yourself with the sharp of your nail, in one sweep, like cutting with a knife in half moon shape but with your actual nail as the tool - at least that’s how I did it since a young age.

honestly phrases like 'drills' and 'sharp of your nail' are conjuring up horrors!

Lol. Mani/pedi are delightful. Have a drink beforehand and just relax and enjoy.